


Scrub-a-dub dip, two boys in a fic

by JubjubJabberwock



Category: Ryleo - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Cute, Football, Football Captain, Ginger - Freeform, M/M, More cuteness than plot, Nerd X jock, Probably failed, Rain, Soft Boys, Tried to do these boys justice, football captain Ryan, italian parents, scrubster, scrubster Instagram, scrubsters OC’s, self edited, seriously what’s with rain, sorry for any errors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 79,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28324017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JubjubJabberwock/pseuds/JubjubJabberwock
Summary: Ryleo: *happens*Everyone who reads: *dies from the cuteness*Warning: incredibly mushy and cute, more cute moments than actual plot, can’t say I’m sorry ‘cause I’m notProbably too long but I got carried away with these cuties <3
Comments: 16
Kudos: 11





	1. Hoisted by his own petard

"Neri! On the field with everyone else or you can do double the laps!" Coach Friar shouted towards the bleachers where the short freckled boy was staring off into the sky day dreaming, a common occurrence for Galileo, who'd much rather have his head in the clouds than do PE with a bunch of jeering boys. 

Snapping out of his reverie about the sky and all the stars that were cloaked by the sun in the day time, Galileo reluctantly joined his classmates, a few sniggers from the larger lads ensued at his expense but he'd heard it all before at his last school. He'd only transferred because his best friend went to Arkins and the drama at his old school got excessive to the point his education was struggling, however, they hadn't moved house along with the switch so his old school was so close it was a rival to this new one which of course didn't help his popularity at Arkins at all. Sure he liked finally going to the same school as his best friend again but it was a bit late and he was always trying to get people to like him, he craved to be someone everyone could befriend so meeting this many new people proved tiring.

"Alright boys, let's show the newbie from over the way how we run the field here at Arkins high shall we?" Grunts and woops of agreement from the more enthusiastic boys bombarded his ears and Leo was already regretting everything about switching schools if this was going to become a habit of theirs. 

"Bet ya pipsqueak over there can't even finish the track"

"Nah, I think he'll try but end up begging coach to give him his inhaler or something stupid."

"Guys, shut up! Go easy on the newbie, don't want to break his spirits... not before we get to beat him right?" All of the boys seemed to listen to that one and Leo understood immediately that he was either captain of one of the school's teams or related to one of the teacher's but from his slim but clearly strong physique he guessed the former. 

"Alright you lot, set a pace, stick with it and it's not a race but show me your fastest so I get an idea for our overall ability this year, the last one to finish the lap has to do 3 more in practice while everyone else gets to cool off, understood?" 

Everyone appeared relaxed and eyes darted to Galileo as if telling him without a doubt that he'd be the slowest and they'd have nothing to worry about, being competitive wasn't usually really his thing, he got a little too lost in his own thoughts sometimes to focus on being a competitor, especially around other people. Today however he was feeling his competitive streak come to life and folded his arms firmly which he realised probably made him look like a pouty little gremlin but didn't care.

"Don't look at me, I ain't losing" 

"Ooo, alright girl-ileo" one larger boy teased and received pats on the back and laughs for his stupid pun until the coach finally shut it down but not before sniggering himself. 

"Right! McCoy, knock it off. All of you, 3 laps around the field starting in 3...2...1 GO!" 

Being one of the smaller boys Galileo could easily weave past those who were clearly trying to get in his path as they made their way around the makeshift track that had been coned off on the field, him and a few others were going at a steady pace while some surged ahead trying to push themselves to be fastest all the way round. He dodged the bustling that tried to knock him off his feet and focused on his feet thumping on the grass, he didn't have a particular passion for running per se, he just had a lot of stamina and sometimes if he couldn't sleep after a long night of staring at the stars and studying the constellations that got him giddy and too happy with himself to sleep he'd sneak out and go for a run to tire himself out or work through his thoughts. 

Seeing the finish line coming up he started to slowly increase his speed to a manageable amount until he got close enough that he knew he could sprint the whole rest of the way to the line and leave the idiots he'd been so blessed to be put in a PE group with behind him, hopefully choking on the dry cut grass he kicked up as he ran. 

He ran straight over the finish line and continued for a few seconds until he could stop and cool off from his energy surge only when he turned around to walk for a bit before he started to stretch and eventually sit down he was met by a few boys just coming over the line, panting with their hands on their knees, some weren't quite panting but their chests were rising and falling at quite a pace and while Galileo was partial to the odd slightly sweaty, post-work out boy, he was put off by the looks of approval, shock and annoyance directed his way. "What?" 

"Well done newbie, not many people beat our football captain here in the run, pretty impressive for a little guy like you" coach praised then went back to yelling at the others to hurry up and Leo focused in on the boy coach Friar had pointed out to be the captain who was glaring at him, 'well aren't you just a ray of sunshine?' He thought and started his walk to get rid of the excess energy but the universe had a funny way of pulling his pants down when he least expected it, metaphorically of course, although he had experienced the literal at the hands of his older cousins. 

"No one beats Ryan, sport is his thing, anything sporty he's just naturally good at" a girl who was sat at the bottom of the bleachers commented making him turn around wondering why she was there and how long she'd been watching. "My name's Rebekah but most people just call me Becks and you're new so what's your name new boy?" There didn't seem to be a way out of engaging with her so he gave up on his cool down and sat down on the bench just above the one she'd perched on. 

"I'm Leo, well Galileo but no one calls me that but my parents really. Um why are you out here watching us do PE? Do you not have a lesson or something better to do?" He hadn't meant it to sound rude it just kind of slipped out that way but Becks didn't care either way, she wasn't one to let people get to her and she could see how he cringed subtly at his phrasing so she easily brushed it off and moved on. 

"I pass out at the sight of blood and stuff and we're doing dissection in biology so I'm supposed to be studying from the textbook instead of the real thing but I saw you guys running from the window and came down to watch a bunch of decently hot guys running around, you're cute but not my type, my type is more Dustin or Theo. Even if they're not fast at least they're fit. Ryan isn't bad on the eyes either but his personality is a turn off, he can get so angry if he has a bad day and if you get in his way then you're toast. Unfortunately for you he's coming this way so that's my cue to leave, good luck, don't die new boy Leo!" She scurried off like she was nothing more than a talking squirrel that had been sent to assist him in a quest of some kind, he felt somewhat like he'd just fallen into an old 8-bit video game but was soon drawn out of his confused thoughts of the strange girl by none other than Ryan who stood between him and the view of the retreating girl. 

"Coach has been telling us about next lesson for the past 5 minutes, he sent me over to tell you that football try outs for the year are on Friday and he expects you to try out to be our wide receiver. Be there at 2:30 after school and try not to gawk at the cheerleaders doing their try outs, got it midget?" 'Really!?' Leo thought incredulously, did his height really matter to these people so much? Could they not pick on his braces that he'd get off in a month? Or his light copper coloured hair? Something he could change at least! 

"Okay, whatever. And by the way, make one more comment on my height and I will personally circumcise you with a dull scalpel from the biology classrooms, I may be vertically challenged but I'm closer to hell down here and I ain't afraid to cut down a couple of trees like you and your buddies to get through school, certo?" Confused. Ryan was hopelessly confused, both by the sass and confidence of the new boy before him and by his final word, was it Spanish? He didn't know and it showed clearly on his face as his thick eyebrows furrowed and his lips puckered almost unnoticeably. "Dammi forza! Stupidi monolinghi! I said 'yes'? I'd rather not start off at this new school with a bunch of guys hating on me for being short, it's genetics, at least I'm not lacking anywhere else is all I can say so can we just drop the short thing? Make fun of my hair or something, be creative, it's the equivalent of me asking you how the weather is up there, it gets old fast" finally able to understand Ryan let himself laugh a little, it was more of a puff of air but Leo would take what he could get in hopefully making someone at least tolerate him if not like him. 

"Yeah ok I guess that does get old, see you at try outs then pumpkin head" Ryan smirked and jogged off back towards his friends who were headed back to the locker rooms to change.

"Leo! Get your head out of the clouds son, you've got 5 minutes to change and get to your next class and I ain't writing you a note, GO!" 

The rest of his first day consisted of bustling hallways, multiple teachers asking him to introduce himself to the class, and Ryan sending him subtle looks of aggravation with the more things he got right. 

The rest of the week up to Friday was much the same, the bustling and the aggravated looks but with the added bonus of multiple of Jerry McCoy's friends using his pun whenever Galileo walked past them in the halls. 

By 2:30 on Friday the sun was burning with a warm orange glow that made the grass look a richer green than it had earlier in the week during PE and Galileo was basking in the beauty of the light and the patches of shade dotted about the field. It looked so calm and his jaw tightened as he thought about the noise and brutish behaviour that would disturb the beauty and tranquility, "the guys trying out had better be at least cute to make up for the disturbance of the peace" he grumbled but decided to get it over and done with so he made his descent from the middle of the bleachers to the football field. 

Once he got there he noticed 2 other people he hadn't seen from up on the bleachers, coach Friar and Ryan, the latter of whom was doing stretches, a sight that usually Leo didn't really care for but something about the concentration on his face captivated him and he found himself looking over his features as they stayed harsh and taught as he focused. He noticed his nose was pointy and flared sometimes when he strained himself a little more than he was used to, he noticed the scar on his left cheek and wondered how he'd acquired such a blemish on his otherwise surprisingly soft looking skin. Suddenly the features shifted, their eyes locked and Galileo felt in his gut that he was in trouble. He cursed under his breath in Italian, his filter from mind to mouth completely disintegrated the second he saw the annoyance flash over Ryan's face.

"What you looking at pie face?" 

"Pie face? What the heck kind of insult is that? My face isn't even round!" 

"Rounder than mine is you pumpkin headed dork, get stretching, the guys'll be here soon and as much as I'd love to see our newbie pull something and have a laugh, coach seems to have a soft spot for you now and I don't want to be on his bad side for not being a good captain to a potential team member" Ryan grumbled, irritated that Galileo had been at the school a week and was already in Coach Friar's good graces while he'd been on the team for years and captain since the previous captain left the school and he still had to watch himself around the coach at the best of times. How the new midget with the coppery hair and braces of all people had wormed his way into coach's good books was beyond the captain completely so he walked off to do his warm up stretches elsewhere before he ended up damaging that freckled baby face out of frustration. 

"Right! First order of business, you gotta be able to actually kick the ball in case we need you to! All of you will take turns to kick the ball as best you can, Ryan and I will judge. You can kick it from the floor or drop kick it, whichever you prefer. GO!" 

They lined up to take turns and Ryan flickered his eyes to the smallest boy trying out, he couldn't help but smirk to himself, there was no way that clumsy looking little thing was going to be anywhere near good at this, after these try outs Leo wouldn't be his problem anymore and he wouldn't have to keep looking into those rich red wood coloured eyes with this nagging irritation eating away at him in his stomach.

Coach Friar snapped Ryan out of his thoughts and asked him what he thought of the first kick which he'd missed completely as he'd been staring at Galileo, 'focus Ryan, focus on the sports come on!' He told himself and gave the coach a non-committal 'not bad' which seemed to be the right answer as Coach Friar nodded along and called for the next person to step up. 

Not a great kick but something decent at least, Galileo thought as he watched the ball fly across the field, it was an average kick that he hoped would look bad compared to everyone else. He deliberately wasn't trying his hardest because being on the team wasn't an aspiration of his but coach wanted him and when he told his papà he was so proud and wanted him to get on the team too, it had been his dream when he found out he was going to have a son to see him achieve something like this, so he promised he'd try, he never promised he'd try his hardest though. 

Next up was throwing, he didn't have to pretend he wasn't good at this part, he wasn't the strongest by a long shot so even his best would look pretty sub par and so he felt safe to give full effort to that test just so he could tell his papà that he really did try his hardest (at one thing at least) but the ball slipped and somehow went further than he'd expected which earned a groan from his inner voice as he couldn't believe he'd messed up at messing up and Coach Friar was looking at him impressed as were many of the other guys trying out to keep or gain a spot on the team. 

Catching and sprinting went much the same, him not putting in full effort but doing enough to make it seem like he was actually trying, blocking he had no clue what he was doing but somehow with his odd comments on other people's performance he'd managed to make a few of the guys laugh and they'd warmed up to him a little, he could tell they were trying to help him in the blocking but as much as he appreciated people liking him enough to want him on the team he didn't want a spot! Nonetheless the try outs finished, coach and captain conferred and decided on the new team members, and Ryan looked more conflicted the longer they went on. On the one hand he had concluded that Galileo was a goody two shoes type and that's how he'd gotten Coach Friar on his side as well as a couple of the boys and Ryan couldn't stand suck ups anymore than he could stand little hotshots that think they're superior which he thought Leo did. On the other hand though, Leo was good, not great but a good captain can tell when a player isn't putting in 100% and he could see that Leo wasn't yet he still did pretty well but again this only aggravated him more, the fcking ginger cabbage patch kid was gliding through most things at an average level while everyone else gave it their all and some still fell short of the median line Leo set for the most part. It didn't help that Ryan found himself having the subconscious urge to check how the smaller boy was doing even when it wasn't his turn, seeing him laugh and chat with a few of the guys, his clear braces only visible from the distance between them when the light hit the metal wire right... yeah he'd definitely been taking far too much notice of the newbie. 

"Gather round boys, don't know how they did it at Linton high Leo" some of the boys booed and called it 'lint ball high' but coach Friar continued "but here we don't prattle over our teams. We go with our guts and we get to practicing so those of you who are in the main team are: Ryan of course, Chris, Dustin, Theo, Jace, Jessie, Harvey, Nate, Galileo, Logan and Beck. The subs team will be informed after more careful deliberation between West and I so we can best fit it to each player on the main team." The guys congratulated each other, a few even gave Leo a pat on the back or shoulder in congratulations and a taller boy with light brown hair drawn into a looped ponytail even ruffled his hair. 

"Coach Friar? Um, I appreciate this opportunity but I don't feel like I'm the best option here, Derek is way better at blocking and throwing than I am and-"

"Oh no Linton boy, it's real kind of you to want to give Derek your place on the team but he didn't make the cut for the main team Kid, you're the fastest kid we've had here since West was first made captain, you'll be a great addition to our team and the other guys have had places on the team before but we've never seen you before whenever we play against Linton, they didn't recognise the skill you've got but we won't make the same mistake, we play to win. Everyone but my main team players is dismissed, go shower. Main team. Practice is after school on Monday and Friday but I expect you to do your own practice during the week, Ryan's word is golden unless I say otherwise. Being as you're all here, unless you have somewhere else important to be I want you all to do some team exercises, get to know the new kid and show him the ropes. Okay! Arkins Armadillos, let's get this show on the road!" 

"Wish didn't have such a stupid mascot" Nate, an exceptionally large boy with a deep voice gruffly complained as they all made their way towards the bag of footballs to start some practice skill drills. 

As they practiced Galileo found himself reluctantly getting into the swing of things, he still didn't want to be on the team particularly, it was a lot of pressure and time, and a commitment to his teammates as well as the school but there was no way out and the guys seemed to actually enjoy his company or at least didn't hate him as they initially appeared to just a few days before. Even Ryan didn't look quite as peeved by his presence as he did when Coach Friar praised his speed so his guard was lowered a little, hopefully no one planned on turning his mood any time soon, he looked too innocent when he smiled for Galileo to see it ruined so quickly. 

"Good going guys, let's hit the showers" Ryan announced once the last of the balls had been put away in the bag they came from which he hoisted over his shoulder easily. 

Without protest the exhausted team made their way towards the locker rooms with Galileo falling into step with what felt like two steps for every one step Nate took but he kept up without a problem and long enough to get a few laughs. 

"So I was stood there right? My ex girlfriend on one side of me and my nonna on the other who had never met her before and they were talking and she just had to bring up our break up because she hates me, and my nonna straight up hit me upside the head and told me to apologise and my stupid @ss decided to say 'I'm sorry your face doesn't match your personality', next thing I know I'm being slapped upside the head by my nonna and on the cheek by my ex!" Jace chuckled and looked down at the smaller ginger boy beside him with humour in his eyes. 

"Why did you two break up, was she that bad?" 

"Not at first, she was lovely at first, sweet, kind, always being affectionate and stuff but whenever we were alone after the first couple of weeks she'd just make all these digs at me, she confused me so fricking much and I just couldn't deal with that anymore, I gave her every chance to stop being like that with me and she just called me a 'pansy' for not putting up with her verbal abuse anymore. That girl is one of the few that I just couldn't find anything to stay for in, usually girls break it off with me but yeah, couldn't do that to myself you know?" Chris hummed as if he'd experienced something similar and others stayed silent but Nate smirked. 

"So how'd you do it that made this chick so mad?" He chuckled and shook his head, accidentally catching Ryan's eyes again but he quickly looked away again with a cheeky smile of his own. 

"Put a note on her locker telling her exactly what I was going to do. I knew she'd think I was bluffing but it was gold bro. Basically what I did was follow her around and call her my ex, I'd say 'hi ex girlfriend' or talk to other people we passed and refer to her as my ex, she refused to let me break up with her, she called me every name under the sun but refused to let me be the one to break it off so I kept annoying her and telling people that we were broken up and that she was still calling me her boyfriend because she couldn't let go of me, it sounds awful but it's kinda true really, she just wouldn't let me leave unless she got the last word on it. Anyway, it got to the end of the day and her mum picked her up from school and noticed she didn't kiss me like she would usually and before she could say anything I told her mum we broke up and that her daughter was being controlling so her mum basically ordered her to leave me alone. Nothing worse than your mum telling you you're being kinda crazy when you're trying real hard to be domineering I guess because she's hated my guts ever since. All of her friends still like me though and keep me updated on what poor soul she's trying to crush lately." 

Ryan decided then was the perfect time to join the conversation, or rather his mouth acted before his brain had time to stop it.  
"So I take it you were pretty popular with most of the girls at Linton?" He didn't expect Galileo to blush, he certainly didn't expect the giggle he bit his lip to hold back. 

"Not really, well, not in a romantic sense. I can be pretty feminine, my Ma wanted a girl but ended up with me so she had me go to play groups and stuff with a lot of girls so I'd be a little less boisterous like her brothers are which is the main reason she didn't really want a boy. I suppose it worked, I'm not half as rowdy as my cousins but one thing you pick up around a lot of girls is sarcasm and a pretty smart mouth that guys probably shouldn't have because I don't know about you but I have zero filter half the time. So yeah, no not popular in that sense but friendly yeah. Lot of the guys didn't really like me, didn't like that the 'little ginger kid' was 'stealing' all the girls' attention when really I felt kinda like a love doctor or something, turns out girls are just as confused about us as we are about them." Dustin was just a few feet ahead of them and turned to face them, walking backwards across the field. 

"Tell me about it! Took me 8 fricking months to figure out my girl actually liked me! Harvey is so freaking clueless, he still doesn't know if his girl Sabrina actually likes him or is just dating him 'cause she's bored" he patted a tall but stocky blonde on the shoulder with a teasing smirk and shoving ensued until Jace ended up getting knocked to the floor and Nate almost trod on his crotch. 

"Woah! Watch the family jewels Nate! I need that!" 

"For what? You're always getting cöckblocked anyway" 

"Because you guys think it's funny to call me or come over every time I'm with Aimee! Because of you guys I haven't had sex in 4 weeks! You know how many times you've walked in on us or called me when my girlfriend is on her knees? If it keeps happening I'm half tempted to just let you guys watch at this point" he accepted Leo's hand to help him up and dusted off his butt before they all continued walking. 

"Gross, no one wants to see your micro-penis Ace, especially not Leo, give the guy at least a week before he has to experience the horror that is you flashing us all or sending a d¡ck pic to the wrong person for the thousandth time."

"Hey! If you don't want to get a d¡ck pic then don't snap me constantly, kinda hard to get the right person when where the chat is is constantly fricking changing! Don't act like you've never sent a nude to the wrong person Logan, we've all seen your dumb 'want a ride winky face' pics before, idiot. The only guys in this group whose d¡cks I've never seen immortalised in photos are Leo and Ryan and that's only because Leo's new and Ry hasn't had a girl since we were like 14, dude's had a serious dry spell of his own creation!" Leo discreetly looked to Ryan to see his reaction but Ryan didn't seem bothered and continued the banter. 

"Yeah, yeah Hudson, I've told you before, I don't have time for a girl, I've got 10 kids in 17-18 year old bodies to organise on the field, plus school" 

"Whatever West, life isn't all about football, live a little, right Leo? I bet if we all followed you on Snapchat and talked we'd get a few unwanted photos too right?" All attention was back on Leo and he tried desperately not to blush. 

"Not the kind you're thinking of Bro, I don't really do nudes, received a few but not exactly my thing I guess. My most recent ex wanted us to do that kinda thing but I couldn't bring myself to do it, it's too freakin' awkward to give your boner a photo shoot, most you might get is topless stuff and that's just because my best friend has a habit of putting her sister's cat on my chest while I'm asleep whenever I stay over and taking photos with dumb captions like 'you've heard of elf on a shelf now here's... kitty on a titty' that kinda thing" that earned a few chuckles as the team bustled into the locker room and Ryan slung the ball bag into the store room on his way in. 

They continued to talk about nonsense and the crap Amanda and he did to each other like siblings having petty prank wars when they were younger until everyone was clean, dry and dressed and Leo had been thoroughly disturbed by Jace who walked out of the shower holding his towel out stretched to cover his crotch and proceeded to stare him dead in the eye as he quickly twisted his hips side to side and all Leo could hear was slapping sounds. 

"Jace! Knock it off! Can't you see the kid's traumatised now!?" Jessie laughed seeing Leo's dark eyes widen in shock when he realised what was happening. It took a moment but Galileo regained himself and rolled his eyes deciding to give Jace a shock of his own. He faked a moan and Jace immediately stopped, his eyes widened and his cheeks began to flame, everyone was staring at Leo who couldn't hold it in any longer and started laughing, collapsing on himself as he tried to catch is breath. 

"Your-your face! Ha! Nice try, you're a nice guy and all but you're not my type, perhaps save your mating ritual or whatever the heck that was supposed to be for your girlfriend buddy" he laughed again, getting rid of the last traces of humour over the situation out of his system as the boys around him laughed along and clapped him on the back for his reply but Ryan gave him an inquisitive look that he intended to find out the question behind but the captain was out of the door and on his way before Leo even had chance to utter a syllable. 

Dinner that night was full of excitement on Leo's father's part while his mother worried at the news of his acceptance onto the team, she worried that he'd change from her soft, sweet boy into some awful, disrespectful boy who only cared about sex and football like in every cheesy teenage movie she'd ever seen. "Mamma, I'm not going to stop being your son, I'm still going to be me, I'm not going to go off the rails and start having random hook ups and snorting weird powders through dollar bills, it's not a gang initiation, it's just football. You're reacting more strongly to this than you did when I came out as bisexual! I don't know whether to be proud or irritated" he joked knowing he was lucky to have parents who came to terms with fact that he swung both ways pretty quickly. 

"I'm sorry, I just worry about my baby, I want you to be happy and I don't want to see you turn into your cousins. I love your Uncle Richard very much but I don't agree with him and the way he's raising those boys, you know I don't, stellina." He knew very well that she didn't approve of her brother and the example he set for his sons, he also knew that he didn't want to be as slimy as his uncle who gave him the creeps every time they went out as a family because he'd stare at women like a predator stalking it's prey, only he was more of a blob fish trying to catch a bunch of swans than something impressive. Even if his flirting were impressive it would still be just as disgusting to witness, it was no wonder his wife left him really, the way he talked to women you'd think he'd only ever known eyes to be on a woman's chest rather than in her skull, Galileo didn't think he'd seen Uncle Dick talk to a woman with respect since nonna Lucia died and even then she was the only one who could wring some respect out of the soggy, slime ball that was her youngest son, no one else stood a chance. 

"Mamma, trust me, Uncle Dick is the perfect deterrent from that kind of lifestyle. He's the poster child for everything not to do if you don't want to be a d¡ck, right down to the name."  
His mother scolded him for the expletive but smiled fondly and pushed his soft curls away from his beautifully freckled face. 

"That's my boy, my little star... maybe you'll be a good influence on them all, who knows, just don't let them influence you"

"Isabella, amore mio, we both know that Amanda would stop anything from changing him, that girl is like his sister, she won't let a hair on his head get plucked out of place. He'll be just fine, especially now that they're finally at the same school, he was devastated when she left Linton." Cue the groan from Leo and his mother giggling at his expense. 

"I never will understand why you didn't ask her out long ago, you two would make such a cute couple!" She gushed as usual, while she understood his sexuality and where his primary attraction laid she still hoped he'd get together with the oaky brown haired girl he called his best friend. 

"I've told you mamma, we don't feel that way about each other, like papà said, she's like my sister! It would be too weird to think of her that way, she's beautiful and sweet and funny and all that jazz but I just didn't feel anything romantic for her and she doesn't feel that way for me either. Trust me, it's a good thing that we're just friends."


	2. The Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys quiz Leo about his relationship with his best friend and Ryan is still a pouty little grumpy boy

Monday morning rolled around and so did Leo in his bed as he turned over to whack his blaring alarm into silence again. He'd been up looking through his telescope for too long the night before but the sky was so clear he just had to make the most of it but unfortunately he forgot he had football practice after school and seeing his PE bag slung onto the beanbag in the corner he groaned. Today was going to be a long day and he'd be lucky if he didn't fall asleep in his lunch but nonetheless he lethargically sat up, rubbed his eyes of sleep with a pout that naturally took place on his lips whenever he rubbed his eyes, and threw back the covers to curb the temptation to merely fall back to sleep. 

"Sup Gaylord-Leo?" Amanda greeted with a teasing smile as he dragged his feet towards his locker, the outfit he was wearing was somewhat form fitting and uncomfortable with a tighter shirt than he'd usually wear and skinny jeans, but that was his aim, he figured if he was uncomfortable he wouldn't fall asleep in class but on the bus he almost dozed off so his discomfort seemed as though it was all for nothing.

"The sky that's what's up. It was clear last night" he explained and she nodded in understanding knowing her best friend's tendency to lose track of time finding constellations and searching the night sky. 

"Gotcha, so... iced coffee? I brought a flask full that I made this morning if you want some" he immediately took her up on the offer and she took the flask from her bag and poured some into the lid for him, as much as they loved to banter with one another they cared for each other and they could always tell if something was up. "Better?" 

"Yeah, thanks 'manda, how was your weekend? Your mom try to convince you not to get your seconds done again?" She rolled her eyes and nodded as Leo retrieved his books from his locker, his tight shirt making him feel just a tad claustrophobic when it restricted some movements more than others. 

"Yup, she doesn't want me to get the tragus one either, I don't mind not getting that one though, the seconds were the ones I really wanted, she's so weird about my piercings yet she's fine with Fin getting stupid tattoos" she rolled her eyes, her brother always got away with more than she ever could but she didn't mind too much because Galileo's parents treated her like their own and often persuaded her parents to let her do as she pleased. 

"His tattoos look diseased they're not even good, you remember Dan from our playgroup? I saw him the other week for the first time in ages, the guy's got some really good art on him, only small stuff but they look really good, Fin just likes to think he's a bad@ss when he's literally just a douche with crap tats." Amanda nodded and laughed knowing her brother would flip out if anyone told him his tattoo artist's work was equivalent to that of a kindergarten class attacking him with inky needles. 

"See this is why you're my-" 

"Hey! Leooo! Wait up!" Jace pushed through the halls, having cut off Amanda, until he reached them both and slung an arm around the smaller, ginger boy. "Thought you didn't have a girlfriend Leo?"

"I don't. Amanda's my best friend, the girl I told you about who might send shirtless pics of me to random people?" He gave her a pointed but joking stare and she stuck her tongue out in return before greeting Jace.

"Hi, by the way if you do get a snap I've sent from his account you're welcome." Jace's face read nothing but confusion and Galileo knew he'd have to explain his subtly weird best friend to him. 

"We don't like each other romantically but we tend to hype one another up a little, I compliment her randomly and she'll send photos of me or put them on my story if she thinks I look good, it's purely platonic but I'm not gonna deny my best friend is a beauty even if I don't feel attracted to her you know?" 

"Thanks Leo" she checked her watch and kissed his cheek "I've got to run but I'll see you at break?" 

"Yeah, See you at break" he handed her the flask lid back and she quickly put it back on and in her bag so she could run off to her first class which was over the other side of the school. 

***

"Boys! Leo's a filthy liar!" Jace shouted into the locker room at the end of the day before he'd arrived for practice. 

"What?" 

"He's definitely got a girl, or they're at least doing the dance with no pants" Ryan grimaced at his teammate as others rolled their eyes, Jace was definitely the jokester of the group and the most sexual despite having such an innocent seeming, sweet girlfriend who didn't look like she knew what sex was, you'd think he'd tone it down a little but no, it was just how he'd always been since his first sex Ed lesson. 

Just as Jace was about to explain, Galileo stumbled through the door and yelled out of it "I'm going! Yeesh! Do you really hate me that much?" To which everyone heard the faint female voice reply 

"Yup, now go! I want to see you play, my mom's picking you up too so this had better be good pretty boy!" 

"You're so over dramatic! Please don't do the cheer, I'll actually throw the ball at you" 

"With those arms?"

"Amanda! Leave!"

"Now who hates who? See you out there!" 

Leo finally closed the door shaking his head at his best friend with a stupid smile on his face at her joking encouragement that made him feel a bit better about his first official practice. He didn't expect all eyes on him and a smug looking Jace to be what he saw when he looked up from smiling at his feet though. 

"What?" 

"See!? I told you guys, Leo's got a cruuuuush" not this again Leo thought and groaned aloud. 

"Jace, I told you, she's my best friend!" 

"She called you 'pretty boy' you know how many times my girl has called me that when she's being all 'cutesy'? A lot! Come on bro, no secrets on the team, we've got to be able to trust each other!" He tried playing the trust card but Leo just gave him a flat look and crossed his arms. 

"We're just friends, you're acting like that's completely impossible. If I had a girlfriend you'd know about it, I've got very little filter ok? Can I just get changed without you looking smug about literally nothing?" 

"Nope! You like her and I'm not gonna stop until you stop being a chicken and ask her out." Needless to say things didn't really go as planned for Jace because Leo just got changed anyway and ignored him and his relentless teasing which had started to annoy the rest of the team. 

"Jace! Shut the f*ck up! If he doesn't like her then he doesn't like her!" Ryan barked, his head starting to throb with a headache from the constant talking. 

"Yeah bro it's like us telling you to ask out Matt Waterston after the whole butt incident!" That caught Leo's attention and he raised an eyebrow at Harvey inquisitively only for Ryan to fill in the gaps for him, seemingly happy to embarrass his friend who'd given him such a thumping headache. 

"Matt used to be on the team but he quit early last year because Jace here kept on 'accidentally' touching his butt in the locker room." 

"It was accidental! Not my fault the guy kept bending over! I talk with my hands!" Sure enough he was throwing his hands around all over the place but the guys still snickered at him as they finally started to filter out of the lockers and up towards the football field. "Besides, that was nothing like this whatever he has going on with Amanda-"

"Wait? Amanda Radley?" Beck asked, a faint blush on his face that no one but Leo seemed to notice.

"Yeah, her! Whatever they have going on is completely different to the butt incidents." Beck kicked at the grass as they walked out of the lockers towards the field. 

"Maybe we should just, I don't know, ask Leo what's up between them?" He suggested and again all eyes seemed to be magnetically drawn time Leo, the attention was a little much but he pushed past that to try and iron out the topic and put it to rest. 

"I told you, we're just friends. We're like siblings, we were in play groups together from since before we could talk until we were 4 then we went to the same school until she moved here and my parents had been trying ever since to get me into this school because she keeps my smart mouth in check and my Ma has this deluded idea that we're gonna get married some day even though we've both said we don't like each other that way. Bit like you actually Jace except my Ma knows when to shut up." He rolled his eyes but continued anyway before Jace could start pleading his case desperately again. "She has a very specific type and I fall into exactly none of the categories except some bits of my personality. I also have my type and she doesn't fall into mine either, she's beautiful in her own way and I love her but I wouldn't go out with her, it's a sibling kind of love and we're both cool with that. And because I know you're gonna bring up the 'pretty boy' comment, don't even start, she calls me that because that's what she calls cute guys rather than the guys she finds hot. Her type is more guys with thick thighs, rough hands and sharp looks, like Beck or Logan kinda. I'm obviously pretty soft looking, my thighs may as well be pool noodles and I don't do anything to give me rough hands or whatever, I'm pretty much the opposite of her type but I'm 'cute' apparently so she calls me that. I don't deny she's an attractive girl, she just doesn't attract me." 

They all nodded and Jace looked deflated but Beck had a small smile like he'd won the lottery but had to keep it a secret, there was meddling to be done on Leo's part but that would have to wait until after practice...unless he could get Amanda's attention to land on a certain floppy black haired boy? He'd scheme while the others talked he decided and went to work in his own mind until he heard his name repeatedly. 

"Huh?" 

"We've been calling you for like 5 minutes what were you thinking about?" He shrugged and smirked a little at Beck just quick enough that no one appeared to notice. 

"Just doing a little bit of planning, I like to mess with her so I was trying to think of something, it's stupid, don't worry about it I'll focus, what're we doing first?" 

Practice went fairly well, he only threw the ball too short of the next person once and ran circles around most of them apart from Ryan who really was pretty fast himself and Galileo couldn't push it away anymore, everyone else on the team had warmed to him over the course of the first week but Ryan remained closed off, not exactly cold or harsh with him but he just didn't really talk to him unless it was to annoy another teammate or get him to do the right thing during practice. 

As he thought he unintentionally ran a little faster, his legs replicating the speed of his thoughts and he heard a short grunt of disapproval behind him that thrust him from his thoughts and back into the real world where Ryan was just barely keeping up with him and he was starting to get breathless himself. He slowed down to a gentle jog to regain his breath and stopped at their starting point with his head a complete mess. 

"F*ck. Stop getting too into your own head Galileo, focus." He grumbled lowly to himself and looked up to the bleachers where Amanda was already giving him a confused, worried look knowing he only ran that fast when his mind really was a jumble. A heavy hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up to see Nate looking at him in amazement, it was like having the juggernaut look at him in surprise he felt so tiny next to Nate whenever he got this close. 

"That was awesome bro! You're like a cartoon or something, how'd you run that fast? Why'd you stop?!" Harvey praised and Ryan walked up having already cooled down in the time it took Galileo to jog the rest of the way. 

"I-uh- I don't know just... practice I guess?" He wouldn't tell them that he ran away from his problems, away from the sleepless nights of his own construction when he'd lost track of time, away from the constant worry that his parents were only okay with his sexuality because there was still a chance he'd find a girl and settle down with her, get married instead of finding a boy. He ran away from the bullies at his old school who he'd pretend didn't hurt him with their words but sometimes it was hard to shake off the things they said so he'd run until he'd loosened each clinging fibre of their comments from his brain. 

He ran away from so much he felt like he was constantly moving, never stationary, never grounded and no matter how much he hated PE in school, running until he was breathless and tears had been forced from his eyes and blasted by the cool night air down and off his cheeks felt good even if his throat became hoarse the next day it felt good to know that despite all the worries and unused excitable energy that fueled his feet at night he would still wake up every morning with the knowledge that if something went wrong he could run for miles, he could run away from it all again the next night until he'd ran far enough to put it in the distance, just a blur on the horizon until those things inevitably caught up to him again. He wouldn't tell them that, so he stuck with the generic 'practice' and left it at that even though he knew Ryan didn't believe even a syllable of it just from the way his eyes softened the tiniest bit and his brow lowered as he looked Leo up and down as if trying to read the real answer somewhere on his person. 

"Alright guys. We've got some stuff to work on, you all know what you've got to practice, go back to the lockers and shower, Galileo. Stay back I need to talk to you about your performance." The others clapped Leo on the back, Nate accidentally too hard as he turned around to join the others and practically pushed Leo into Ryan's chest. Leo squeaked out a 'sorry' to Ryan who tried not to look shocked as Leo regained himself and stood up properly again. 

"It happens. Especially if you're a little on the...small side? Anyway, if there's something bothering you Galileo I need to know sooner rather than later. You can't keep zoning out on us, you can't exert yourself just to beat me at running or whatever, we need solid players we can rely on not kids with their heads in the clouds." It didn't sit right with Leo, being told this like he was doing those things on purpose but then again he didn't want to be on the team, this could be his way out without disappointing his dad by outright quitting. 

"Fine. Just kick me off the team already, we both know I'm not cut out for it and now you have a reason to without Coach getting on your back about it." 

"This is what I mean! You can't give up like this, you can't just waste this opportunity, it's not fair! Do you have any idea how hard I worked to get onto this team, into this position?! Football is the only thing I've ever achieved this highly in, only thing I've ever been able to fcking concentrate in and just step away from school and you come along, run circles around me looking like a fcking stick insect and Coach Friar kisses your @ss and drops the opportunity in your lap! No. You're here now, you've been given every chance I wanted and you're going to take it or so help me star boy! Starting tomorrow I'm going to work with you one on one, you're going to sort out whatever sh¡t it is that is stopping you from focusing and I'm going to give you the help I wish someone had given me being as you've got everything else I wanted, you might as well have the help too. Meet me here after school tomorrow, if you've got plans cancel them, I don't care, if you won't tell me what's your issue then I'm gonna do the only thing I know how, teach you football. Now go shower." The slight soft concern from earlier had frozen over completely, his blue eyes an icy color that almost made Leo physically shiver but while he could stop that he couldn't control the goosebumps Ryan's body language and tone brought out of him. 

Leo spun on his heel and went to walk but he couldn't walk away, normally Amanda would drag him away but she was in the bleachers on her phone and he had no filter as usual. "I don't screw up on purpose. I am what I am and that just happens to be a fast 'star boy' with his head off somewhere else. Coach was an idiot to give me this spot, I tried to stop him, this opportunity didn't fall into my lap like some God given gift, it was thrust upon me like a curse and I've done everything to take it away with out disappointing my father. See you tomorrow captain, I'll try not to be so inadequate until then." With that off his chest he could finally walk away but Ryan felt as though his shoes had suddenly filled with lead, pinning him to where he stood. In short he felt like a d¡ck. He knew that Leo didn't want to be there particularly, not with anywhere near the same passion as he did yet he took out his frustrations on him. He didn't know where the outburst had come from either, one minute he was concerned for him and wanted to reassure him that he wasn't mad at him for surging ahead of him and the next thing he knew he was ranting blindly at the innocent boy before him. He wanted to apologise but it was too late, the damage had been done and he knew as soon as he saw Galileo's arm come up to his face and swipe angrily over his eyes that he'd hurt him and that that image of the ginger boy moving further away from him with tears on his sleeve would be looping through his mind for quite some time. 

Sure enough that evening when he got home Ryan could've sworn his strength increased because every door he went through was swung open and slammed shut. His mother yelled at him to stop damaging their doors but he couldn't seem to get himself under control. It wasn't like he'd never upset anyone before, in all honesty he was rough around the edges with most people and often ended up causing trouble between himself and anyone new who didn't stick around through his rough times to be friends with him eventually once they'd put child proofing on his sharp edges so he couldn't cut them quite as deep when he got annoyed. 

He couldn't fathom why making the small, freckled boy with his dorky braces and red wood colored eyes was making him so frustrated! It felt as though something inside his head was jabbing it's fingers into his brain and seeing what it could make him do, he didn't feel like himself and he hated it. His head hurt from over thinking what was going on with his emotions and his chest felt tight like he'd completely frozen up, this wasn't right, he'd never had this problem before, not for anyone. He didn't even feel this bad when he broke up with his ex, Ellie, and she cried on his shoulder for a solid 10 minutes begging him to make time for her but he couldn't, he couldn't give up his safe space in football, he couldn't push school work aside, he was one more late assignment away from being kicked off the team! He couldn't give up his family time,as much as he liked being left alone he still loved his family. He just couldn't give her what she needed and he didn't want to lead her on to think that he could. 

Maybe that was why he could feel this horrid regret settle in his chest this time, then he knew he was doing the right thing for her and himself, he knew he was saving her greater heartbreak later, he knew that he'd upset her for a good reason that wasn't entirely selfish but with Galileo not so much. With Galileo he'd chewed him up and spat him out like gum, he'd blamed him for being more fortunate in his opportunities than Ryan had ever been when really it wasn't Leo's fault. Leo couldn't control Coach Friar, he couldn't control being put on the team and he couldn't control it if his mind slipped off somewhere else if he had other troubles to think about. 

Ryan had assumed that Leo knew he was charming and likable even to the most unaccepting of people even the coach, he'd assumed that Leo used his humor and kindness to weasel his way into the team and he'd made the biggest assumption of all in thinking that Leo actually wanted to secure a place on the team in the first place! He recalled the try outs and how he got so mad that Galileo wasn't trying to his full potential, at the time he took it as blatant arrogance but now he realized that the ginger boy had been trying to appear willing but not completely able so he wouldn't get picked for the team. He remembered Leo telling the coach that he thought someone else was better for the team and how coach Friar assured him he had a place, Ryan had read the situation completely wrong and thought Leo was trying to make himself look like a kind guy to win over anyone he had pushed out of the spot he'd taken and manipulate people so he didn't make enemies but now he understood that he'd been looking for a way out that wouldn't mean quitting so he didn't have to disappoint his dad. 

Everything fell into place and he felt increasingly guilty for thrusting more practice on him for a sport he didn't have his heart in, Ryan knew what it was like to be forced into something, it happened a lot throughout school, every team that was struggling wanted him to up their wins, baseball, basketball, tennis, they all wanted him as a sort of secret weapon that they could sub in when they were losing and he hated it, he felt like a spare part or a puzzle piece that was close enough to fitting but never quite fit a place right until he finally got accepted onto the football team but only after half the players quit to prepare to go to sports colleges. 

"Ugh!" He grunted and tossed his bags carelessly into the corner of his room and collapsed into his spinning desk chair. Whatever was going on with his emotions had to stop it was driving him nuts!

"Alright emo what's going on in here, you'd better not be beating your meat, my virgin eyes don't need to see that" his older sister, Rosalie, called through the door before she opened it to her scowling little brother. 

"Virgin eyes my @ss, go away Ro" that earned him a raised eyebrow and a half smirk. He never told her to go away, he knew better than that because the more he told her to do something the more she wanted to do the opposite. 

"Ooo, who got your panties in a twist?" 

"No one. Go away, leave me alone, I've got homework to do" there he went again, making her want to stay and annoy him more. 

"Who's the girl you're trying to ignore feelings for then? You never do your homework little bro so who are you trying to avoid?" 

"You." He huffed and gave up on telling her to leave. 

"Shut up mr broody bad dude-y... ha doody- anywayyyyy who's the girl?" 

"There's no girl! What makes you think I like someone? I broke up with Ellie because I don't have time to treat a girlfriend how I should right now you know that, why would I go after another girl?!" Rosalie rolled her eyes and thumped his forehead.

"That was like 4 years ago! Excuse me for thinking you'd gotten yourself in check enough to live a little! Come onnnn! Maybe that's why you're such a cranky pants, you need to get laid. What 17 year old dude is still a virgin little bro?" 

"Ro" his eyes locked on hers as he spoke to get his point across clearly "I don't need to have sex, what I need is to stop feeling like sh¡t because I made the new guy on the team cry" be blurted and immediately regretted it, Rosalie had a clever way of drawing every secret out of him effortlessly, she knew him too well and sometimes he despised it about her but then again he could often do the same with her so he called it even. 

"A football player? Cry? What'd you do? Kick him in the joystick?" Ryan winced just at the thought of being kicked there and shook his head. A sigh passed his lips and melted into the air within his ocean blue walled room. He ran a hand through his hair and came round his head to run over his ear and stilled at his chin where he leaned forward with elbows on his knees and his head now cradled in his hands. 

"I just said some pretty sh¡tty stuff about him joining the team without getting my facts straight and upset him. It's not like I've never made anyone cry before, you know that, I just feel really fcking guilty. Probably because he's actually a nice guy who gets along with the team really well and I just criticized and judged him instead of being a good leader and helping him fix his mistakes and move on." His sister listened and nodded along, her chestnut brown hair bobbing and swaying about her shoulders with the motion as she hummed softly in thought. 

"Maybe that's why you're feeling guilty or maybe, hear me out, maybe you like this boy? I know you love football and you love being the captain and being good with your teammates but do you think maybe this boy is playing on your mind because you have a crush not just because you're guilty? You never tell me to flat out leave unless you're jacking off or you're trying to sort out feelings"

"Ro! What the fck!? No. I don't have a crush on the new guy! I'm not gay!" 

"Then yeah, you're probably just guilty about not being a good captain especially because this kid is more sensitive than the other guys. And I personally wouldn't rule out you being bi, you used to have an action figure of Spider-Man you'd kiss goodnight all the time when you were little, no one gets that excited over Spider-Man. It wouldn't surprise me if you swung both ways." She shrugged and walked off towards his door with a small comforting smile, a welcome change from her teasing one. "Don't think too hard little brother, you probably see something of you in him and it's upsetting you too, you'll fix it tomorrow, don't work yourself up, just do your homework bro" and with that she left, closing the door carefully behind her. 

"I do not like guys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Pls tell me if you liked it or if it’s utter rubbish •_•
> 
> Have a lovely day! <3


	3. Quitters get babysitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Ryan make up (or do they?) and Leo tries to play matchmaker for his best friend.

After practice Leo swiped the tears from his eyes, annoyed that he'd let Ryan get to him, and got changed without showering, effectively avoiding all the guys in favor of getting back to Amanda and getting the hell out of there. "Hey, Gally, what happened down on the field? Are you okay?" Amanda's higher than usual voice spoke volumes of her worry and he fell forward into her arms and his own arms flung around her as he tried to calm himself down before her dad arrived to take them both home.  
  
"I fcking hate this sport" he grumbled, his profanity taking her somewhat by surprise, Leo didn't have much of a filter that was clear to anyone but his mother hated swearing, she didn't want her sweet baby boy to have such a foul mouth so he got into the habit of using milder substitutes for swears around closer friends especially because he felt like he was still around family, he only abandoned it when he was really emotionally charged and Amanda knew he was putting himself through the emotional wringer for whatever reason. She hummed soothingly and played with his curls like she'd seen his mother do many times before and it always calmed him to some extent.

"So quit. I know you don't want to disappoint Rico but if it's putting you in this much distress it's not worth it." Hot, stuttered breath fanned over her shoulder and he slowly nodded just as they heard a car horn beep and went to find her dad.

"I just don't want to ruin this for my papà, he's always wanted something like this for me, always wanted to come to a game and be able to say his son was out there making him proud." He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked.

"I'll quit tomorrow, I've got extra practice with Ryan, I'll do it then and hope papà doesn't get upset when I tell him." Silence fell between them but Amanda squeezed his hand reassuringly as they both slid into the backseat of her father's car and made their way home in contemplative silence, her wondering what was bothering him beneath the simplicity of hating the sport and him worrying about what his dad would think about him quitting the only thing he'd really wanted him to do.

That night at dinner Leo was quiet, he picked at his food and went to bed early. It was a clear night outside but he couldn't stay up late again and for once he didn't want to, every moment he was awake he thought about getting rid of this new burden that had befallen him, thought about Ryan's words about how he should feel lucky and grateful for the chances he'd been presented with, thought about the fire in his still somehow icy eyes that left him feeling the stinging prickle of sudden heat all over him, like fire ants running rampant over his skin. The resentment in his voice was enough to drive Leo away from football altogether but it was his eyes that truly sealed it, that made him feel obliged to keep his distance from the sport and the team despite the new friends he'd started to create there, it wasn't worth the risk of being burned alive like that.

Next day, Leo did everything to avoid the team, their captain in particular, he'd rather not face him, not until the end of the day when he had to, he wanted one last day of not being whispered about or frozen out for his decision to leave. He just wanted to be neutral for one more day before the questions came and the judgements. It was easier said than done, evading all 10 of his teammates, people parted like the Red Sea for them and he was glad he'd worn an average black hoodie to blend in otherwise they'd have found him within minutes. Every time he heard his name he'd duck into the crowd, pull up his hood and weave through people until he got to his next class without any more worries. It all came tumbling down by 5th period though, Dustin, Nate and Jace were in his class and he couldn't get out of the door before any of them. "Why are you avoiding us Leo?" Jace quizzed as Nate blocked his exit with his much larger body.

"I just don't feel very social today okay?"

"Come on bro, we said no lies the other day and we meant it, what's up?" Silence was all they got in return, it was the only way he could keep himself from blurting that he was leaving the team, who knew how they'd react? "Fine. Don't tell us but we'll find out sooner or later, you can't hide anything from us, the team is a band of brothers, we can't hide, you need to understand that for the better of yourself and the team, we want everyone on top form" another lecture really wasn't what Leo wanted so he gave a curt nod and weaseled past Nate, too fast for him to stop it.

The end of his final day on the team had come and somehow walking out onto the field felt like walking towards the gallows, his palms clammy and his heart beating in his throat wildly. "Why aren't you in your kit?" Was the first thing Ryan thought to say the moment he saw Galileo approach in jeans and a hoodie that was just slightly too big for him. With a deep breath, hoping it would steady his heart enough for him to get out what he needed to say, Leo stepped within arm's length of the captain who made him all kinds of nervous.

"I-um-I'm quitting the team... I know you said I have to stay but I don't need this negativity in my life, it makes me feel like crap and I'll deal with my dad's disappointment if it means I don't get lectured for being myself. I'm sorry, you'll have to find someone else to fill the space, I'm not the right fit." He went to walk away before Ryan could have an out burst but he didn't expect the soft voice with which he called out to the ginger boy.

"Leo...I'm sorry, for yesterday I mean. It was uncalled for and I shouldn't have taken out my frustrations on you, that was poor leadership and I spent the whole of yesterday after you walked away feeling really annoyed by it because I knew I'd completely fcked up a good thing big time. You deserve your place on this team, no matter how much of a daydreamer you are or how off track you can get sometimes, as long as you can apply yourself when it counts you're pretty much golden. We need speed and more importantly we need someone who can keep Jace’s ego in check"

Leo stopped computing, he questioned if he'd heard right. 'Did Ryan just crack a joke?' He asked himself and turned slowly on his heel as if worried that any sudden movements would scare off this new side of the pointy nosed boy with the overgrown undercut.

"Look, I'm not going to force you to stay on the team but for what it's worth I'm sorry and you have just as much right to be here as everyone else. Plus the guys have bonded really well with you already, you're kind of a natural at that apparently" now that was laugh worthy and sure enough an involuntary laugh left his lips at the very notion of being natural at any of this. He'd been an outsider from the day he asked for his 'mamma' and 'Papà' at elementary school instead of his 'mom' and 'dad', he'd been an outsider since he was a small child when all he wanted was to make people happy, to be someone everyone felt happy to befriend. He was far from a natural, more like a trained show dog that knew all the right tricks to get recognition.

"Please, it takes far more work than you'd think, not everyone can be broody and still popular, you have to be hot for that, not nerdy and 'cute'" he hadn't realized what he'd said until Ryan's eyes darkened and that same fire ant feeling started to creep up on Leo. "Not that-that I think you're hot or anything, I mean by girl standards, you're a lot of girls' type." The darkness lifted a little from Ryan's eyes but they remained mostly dangerous and stormy. 

"I guess, um, I need a second, I'm new to this whole caring about other people I hardly know stuff on the spot and if I don't sort out my head now I'll blow up at you again" he sighed and roughly dragged a hand through his hair. "I'll be right back, just please think about this before you actually quit, the guys would be disappointed to lose a guy like you, especially since that time you moaned at Jace and made him so uncomfortable he stopped doing that stupid d¡ck clapping thing." The sound of Ryan's laughter, however short it was, made the other boy feel proud of himself, happy to have caused the slightly rough and raspy yet entertained sound.

Ryan walked off towards the set he'd made up to help Leo to stop almost tripping himself as he ran which Ryan had notice happened more than he'd ideally like. "He compliments you and you get angry, what the fck!? Maybe he swings that way, no need to be an @ss about it! He said from a girl's point of view, he'd know, he's friends with girls, stop being stupid! Go back over there and keep him on the team, the guys need someone like him, as much as you hate to admit it you need someone like him to stop you getting cocky. Stop being such a raging freak and just talk to him, he's just another guy. He's just another guy."

Having given himself a somewhat abrasive pep talk he shook his head and walked back over to Leo who had sat down cross legged on the grass, picking at the dry, cut blades and piling them up like his own mini hay stack. 'How cute-...stupid, yeah, definitely stupid' Ryan thought as his feet stopped just inches from the small pile Leo had constructed. The red wood eyes that looked up at him so innocently, so sweetly, made Ryan's breath hitch without his permission and he felt annoyance and anger rise again but pushed them down, Leo hadn't done anything, he couldn't get mad at him for existing! 

"So...are you sure you want to leave? We could really use that speed and it's kinda nice having some challenge as long as you can keep your head on straight long enough to give me a run for my money" his voice was still sharp as usual but Leo could hear the slight shift in his tone, it wasn't scolding or judging like it had been the day before, it was still cold but the intention of a jesting, teasing comment was clear and Leo would take what he could get.

"I still don't think I'm what this team needs, I like you guys, I do, I just can't see a little ginger nerd on the field doing anything for you guys but making you seem weak"

"Maybe that's a good thing" Ryan countered with a shrug "you'd provide the element of surprise until you're fully trained up, even if you don't fully have everything down to a tee right now just letting opposition think that we're weak gives us the advantage, even more so when we factor in your speed that they won't expect either. You've got things to offer, plus if you're really that much of a nerd you can help coach and I come up with plays that will work more logically and stuff. As much as I didn't trust Coach Friar when he took a chance on you initially, I know better than to let someone leave if Coach sees something in them, he's old and harsh but the man knows what a team needs when he sees it and he saw it in you." It was hard to fight off the blush Leo felt blooming up his neck and he hoped his freckles helped mask it as he peered up at Ryan from his place on the green grass that he'd cleared of the dead blades hoping he'd have less of them stuck to him when he got back up again.

"Oh-um-okay? I guess I'll stay but-but I've got a condition, just a little one..." he pinched his fingers together as though he were measuring the size of his proposition while Ryan crossed his arms over his firm chest not realizing just how distracted he was making Leo who tried so hard not to stare at and drool over the subtle but still clearly present biceps he'd neglected to notice before. "I-uh clearly don't know the game very well, not as well as you guys, and if I'm gonna do this I've got to be confident that I know what exactly this is so... could you teach me? I know it's stupid, who doesn't know football? I must sound like a 5 year old but I don't get it and-"

"Calm down freckles, I'll teach you the ins and outs, I guess the nerd needs tutoring in how not to think like a nerd, but be warned I'm a tough teacher so don't go getting all upset on me, I'm a captain not a babysitter okay? You've got to have discipline but I'll try not to be such a d¡ck, easier said than done." The nickname came out of nowhere and he had no clue when he even started thinking about just how many freckles Leo had but Ryan couldn't take it back so he let it be and held his hand out for Leo to get up and shake on their deal. They shook hands and it felt as though they'd both decided to pretend time wasn't going by and just let themselves take in the feel of one another's skin, somewhat entranced by the contrast between rough and soft, warm and cool skin. Somehow that simple touch felt like the most they'd communicated in the week or so that Leo had been in the school yet not a word was uttered between them. Ryan was the first to pull away, the touch starting to feel too mind consuming as he let the feeling draw him in and make him feel valued, grounded, maybe even safe enough to want to drop his walls and it scared him upon realization to the point that he wanted to cut off whatever it was that made him feel so easy going when usually his muscles were taught and sometimes his chest felt heavy with anxiety that then got pumped through his veins. He hated feeling anxious and on edge so frequently but he hated the idea of putting his trust into someone else. He didn't want to trust anyone to make him feel better because once they inevitably realized he wasn't going to suddenly be 'fixed' they'd leave and take their comfort with them. He couldn't risk that, he refused to and the fact that it had to be this person, this boy who had made him feel so secure and valued only served to confuse his emotions more, so he did what he always did, he built up his walls again, higher this time.

Ryan cleared his throat and tried his best to ignore the friendly smile Galileo was giving him, a smile he'd seen multiple times before towards his teammates but never towards him. Leo's smile was always uncertain and shy when it was directed towards Ryan but not now? Now it was as certain as the sun was bright and warming, as though he was being hugged for the first time in who knew how long. It felt good and of course that was bad. Ryan felt like he was being torn, his emotions like opposing poles on a magnet, he wanted that warm feeling to last but he hated to think of how it certainly wouldn't. Frustration arose within him again, his chest tightening and his eyes stinging, all this inner conflict stemming from such a kind boy made no sense! Why was he feeling so torn up? He didn't know, he didn't understand why he felt like he had to push Leo away as far as he could when his smile and his personality drew him in.

His sister's words swirled in his head, maybe he had a crush... no. No, that couldn't be, he liked girls! His mind raced, he had to leave, he'd make an excuse, he couldn't stay when he was so confused. "Being as you're not ready and we've already lost like 15 minutes we might as well start your lessons tomorrow, don't worry about it, just go home and rest, tomorrow will be pretty tiring so you'll need it anyway" it was a plausible excuse and Leo reluctantly took it, he could tell something had started to bug the taller boy but they weren't close enough for him to do anything about it, so with a final smile and a nod Galileo started to walk away but got a little surge of confidence and turned around when he was half way down the field to start walking backwards for a few steps just to admire the view, sure Ryan could be sharp tongued sometimes when he got mad but that didn't stop him looking good. 

"Huh, who knew I like broody boys?" He mumbled to himself and spun on his heel and continued walking thinking about his taste in guys. Ryan definitely fit into his usual type, dark hair, a sharp jawline and a couple of moles that broke up his seemingly perfect skin along with the scar on his upper left cheek. He wondered where the scar had come from and then got distracted by thinking more about his face in general again. "Ugh! Why have you got to be so hot?!" He grumbled to himself having not noticed Beck who was approaching him.

"Who's hot?" He quizzed as he fell into step with Leo who jumped at the new presence.

"What?"

"You were mumbling about someone being hot, who's so hot they've got you flustered bro?" Beck smiled teasingly and nudged the ginger boy who bumped him back.

"I'm not flustered, just...interested in a pretty face when I see one, but not half as interested as you are in my best friend. Don't think I didn't notice." That got the attention off him thankfully, he wasn't ready to out himself to the team yet, especially not with the way Ryan reacted to him calling him hot without thinking earlier, Ryan had certainly not taken that well and Leo didn't want to risk the rest of the team hating him for something as simple as him liking guys and girls. He'd tell them if and when he was ready if he didn't accidentally do it or someone didn't figure him out like Amanda had done...

***

_In Amanda's room after school as usual, watching the newest episode of the same show they been watching together for years and never tired of. Leo smiled as one of his favorite characters arrived on screen and watched his movements, his decisions, willing him not to be so impulsive but also trusting that everything would be resolved even if the character did act without fully thinking it through. Unaware of Amanda's studying gaze he continued to watch, the corners of his lips upturning subtly each time his favorite characters came on screen and his cheeks flushed beneath his freckles whenever those characters got a little too comfortable with each other._

_She couldn't keep explaining it away, ignoring it at school when he'd be daydreaming with his eyes fixed on a table full of guys, it happened too often to ignore by now. Amanda paused the episode mid action and received a displeased 'hey!' From Galileo but she took no notice. "Galileo? Are- are you gay?" He practically choked on the gummy worm he'd just put in his mouth and coughed through his heavy swallowing as he looked at her with wide eyes. "I don't care if you are, I just want to know, we tell each other everything remember?" As if he'd ever forget such a promise._

_He gulped and nodded slowly until he eventually sighed then ran a hand through his hair that had started to flick skywards at the ends because of the length it was at, the beginnings of curling up just barely present. "I'm not gay, I am- um- I am Bi though..."_

_"Cool! So I can talk to you about hot guys and you won't get all weird like Fin does?" He chuckled and nodded, happy that she'd accepted him without a fuss. "As long as they're actually hot, no offense but your type is pretty typical of the buff guy with floppy hair"_

_"Hey!-_

***

"Leo? Galileo? Helloooo?" Beck was waving a hand in front of his face which finally brought him back to the real world and out of his memories.

"Huh? Sorry, I was thinking about Amanda's type, I guess I got a little lost in thought, what did you say?"

"Oh, I asked if Amanda might be interested in me? You know her really well and I've been trying to find a way to talk to her for forever, she's in a few of my classes and she's so funny and smart but I didn't feel like she'd want a dumb football player like me who can't even talk to her..." Beck wanted to talk to her so many times, he could hear her and her friends talking behind him in Biology and there had been so many times when he wanted to jump into the conversation about how water moved in the process of osmosis but he didn't want to intrude if she didn't want him to jump in and explain and he didn't feel as though anyone would take him seriously academically as a football player who was always getting hits to the head.

"Beck, ‘Manda is not gonna judge you for being on the team, she likes football. You're her type, you look like her kind of guy and you're quieter than most guys which is just what my secret loud mouth of a best friend needs, trust me. I'll put in a good word if you want, subtly of course, don't tell her I told you but she's been getting really cuddly with me lately and I think she just needs someone romantic in her life, I can tell she's lonely in that sense and I want her to be happy and if you can do that I'm willing to help you talk to her so you have a chance with her but treat her wrong or hurt her and you will have all 5"7 of my scrawny @ss climbing up you to scratch your eyeballs out, understand?" Beck nodded rapidly, the fiery determination and certainty in the smaller boy's eyes being enough to scare him but he knew he wanted to have a chance with Amanda, he'd back off if she didn't want him but he wanted a chance to make her happy the same way Jace made Aimee happy, aside from the sexual side of their relationship they were actually a really cute couple.

"You've got my word bro, the last thing I want to do is hurt her, do you- d'you really think I've got a chance? Honestly?" The nervousness that radiated from him, his hand on the back of his neck, his steps as they walked gaining pace as if trying to run from the possibility that he'd be rejected, and the vulnerability in his downcast eyes that made him look like he'd already been rejected all told Leo he was serious.

"Yea Beck, of course you do, you're a nice guy from what I know of you so far, she's never bad mouthed you to me and trust me there are some guys in this school she hates that are her type looks wise but she's never said your name negatively" his ears perked like a meerkat turning his attention towards something mildly interesting he'd heard.

"She's mentioned me?" Oops. Leo cursed himself for not being careful with his words but it was too late by now and if Amanda knew she'd slap him with a pillow repeatedly, no doubt. He sighed and nodded, his feet stopping as he turned to fully face Beck. 

"Don't ever tell her I told you because she'll castrate me and I'd rather keep my balls attached to my body not in a doggy bag-" he exaggerated wincing at the thought "but yes she's mentioned a 'Beck' to me a few times before, I'm pretty sure now that I've met you that it's you, she hasn't told me but I'm fairly certain" the hope in the floppy black haired boy's brown eyes was sweet, it was easy to see he really liked Amanda and Leo found it pretty freaking sweet.

"What kind of stuff did she say? Is it good or just neutral?"

"It's... it's mainly about how you look but she did make one comment about a science class when she felt sick and someone took her outside and calmed her down until the teacher came, she didn't know his name at the time but she thought she'd heard someone call him either Beck or Brock as he helped her out of the room and when she gets sick she gets panicky so she doesn't really focus so she can't remember what he looked like particularly. Um-"

Beck blushed a deep apple red and smiled at his feet like a fool. "She remembers that? That was like when she first moved to this school, we were in the same biology class and the teacher had a setup of pig lungs at the front with a pipe connected to them which he blew into to show us how air filled them and Amanda was stood not far from me and I noticed her swaying a little, looked like she was going to faint so I just tried to get her out of the room for some fresh air. My brother is really bad with blood, he gets the same way whenever he gets the tiniest cut that bleeds so I kinda knew what to do, she was really spacey by the time I'd gotten her outside, she must've been feeling that way for a while, maybe even before the whole demonstration with how out of it she was. She didn't faint though and I asked the teacher at the end of the lesson if she was okay, he told me he'd sent her to the nurse but honestly, talking her down from that panicking and stuff was the highlight of that lesson, probably the day too since it's all I remember of it. Even when she was out of it she was still cracking jokes and telling me I didn't have to stay out there with her."

He was clearly reminiscing and replaying that day to himself because he was looking straight through Leo, off in the past and it was only then that Galileo understood that this crush wasn't a recent thing, a passing phase he was going through, it had been building for years now and the more it grew the more nervous Beck had become about being rejected if he ever told her because it would only hurt more and more and more as time passed.

"Beck? You need to tell her you like her, I'll help you get her alone to tell her but you need to tell her that you like her because if you're not straightforward with her you're going to become friends, risk feeling like you're getting somewhere only to find out she doesn't see it the same way and get your heart broken. I'm not saying she won't like you I'm saying there's a possibility that she won't and I don't want you to get hurt, not after that little reverie just had. You're in far to deep not to be straight with her, you want to let her cut it off now so you can start to heal instead of prolonging it or encourage it and let it flourish depending how she feels in return okay? You're a nice guy, I really don't want you to make yourself think all is going well and find out that because you didn't tell her what you wanted out of a relationship with her you ended up with a friendship instead of a romantic relationship. This is really important. This needs to happen soon, you can't let it simmer any longer, you've crushed on her for how long now? 3 and a half years? 4? That's not a healthy way to go about this really but she's shown interest since then so you've still got a chance of not having a one sided attraction and frick- I sound like a love doctor again! Just-I'll talk to her but you've got to be ready, preferably this week, give me your number or your snap or whatever you'll actually look at and I'll tell you when I can get her alone for you, sound like a plan?" The nervous energy from before was bubbling in Beck's stomach again but nonetheless he agreed and gave Leo his Snapchat since he didn't know his number off by heart yet having gotten a new one days before.

"If you need some help telling her I'll still be hanging about so don't be too nervous but just be prepared to rip off the bandaid" with a final pat on the shoulder and a quick goodbye Leo rushed to catch the bus that was scheduled for 2 minutes time and left an anxious Beck behind to ponder how on earth he was going to tell his crush he'd liked her since the day she told him she 'couldn't stand' being in a room filled with not only the scent of dead animal lungs that were half decayed but of Mr Ferguson's disgusting breath as he blew into said animal lungs, wobbling unsteadily on her feet as she spoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Pls tell me if you liked it or not
> 
> Have a lovely day! <3


	4. Let the gay crisis commence

Wednesday was a good day, a day where the sun was hung in the sky with not a cloud in sight after the rain that had poured all night long, the rain on the ground would soon be evaporated by the sun and Leo had a plan laid out for Beck and Amanda, the only thing that might possibly, maybe, slightly foil his plans was his football lesson with Ryan. He'd have to find a way to make good on his deal of keeping an eye out for Beck if he needed help _and_ make sure he was focusing on practice otherwise Ryan would get mad and, as much as Ryan always looked irritated, Leo didn't want to be the cause of it and he much preferred when the taller boy smiled and encouraged him to do better than when he berated him.

It had to work though, as much as he loved Amanda he couldn't keep cuddling with her, he was not a big spoon by nature and she wanted to feel secure, she needed a guy who could be romantic with her and cuddle her the way she wanted, not her bi bestie who was more like a koala than a big spoon! Plus he didn't like his parents constantly wanting him to make her his girlfriend, if she were in a relationship he wouldn't have to deal with the speeches about how 'perfect' their match would be.

This had to go well, he couldn't be a substitute anymore and let her just be lonely, he wanted her to be happy and from the way Beck talked about her she'd be well taken care of in the romance department, providing she actually felt any chemistry with him of course.

"Galileo!" He turned at the sound of his name to see a frantic looking Chris who was waving him over through the sea of people who cleared a small but hardly moveable path.

"What's up? What's going on?" It didn't take long for his questions to be answered as he saw Beck hunched over near a wall, head in his hands as he talked to himself.

"We don't know what's up with him he just keeps asking for you that's all we know" Chris shrugged as the other me in their 'we', Theo, looked through their friend's timetable to see what lesson he'd come from and if it were one he was particularly stressed about but came up blank.

"Beck, Beck listen to me, focus on my voice and we'll sort this out. Breathe in... and out... in... out... I've got you. Just focus on your breathing, I know it's not gonna be easy to do but you will do fine, I'll be right there, heck I'm gonna be at my extra practice hour with Ryan so you won't be completely alone if you need support. This feeling was only going to get worse the longer you held onto this, once you get it out there you'll be fine, you'll feel better about it, just don't give up before you've even tried." Beck nodded as he tried to focus on breathing instead of panicking, he'd never been so nervous in all his life but he didn't want to be rejected, he didn't want her to think he was some creep for liking her so long and never having the courage to tell her, he'd tried to tell her and when that didn't work he tried to move on, find someone new to crush on and hope to be with but she was always there, always walking down the halls at the same time as him, always in the same science class, always placed close to him in seating plans that he couldn't escape.

He really tried not to care but she was just so lovely, whenever he looked stuck and she'd finished the work she'd poke him with her pen and ask if he was okay like she did with everyone around her but her kind eyes just made him feel warm and he always ended up saying he was okay because he didn't want her to see him turn the color of a fire truck!

He wanted to tell her but ultimately he was scared beyond belief that the girl he couldn't stop himself from liking wouldn't feel anywhere near the same.

"Guys, help me get him up onto the bench over there, people are gonna stare if he stays here and he doesn't need that right now" Theo and Chris complied and helped Beck up onto the bench with two solid pats on the back that they hoped were a comfort to him.

"We've gotta head to class, keep us updated, stop stressing about whatever this is bro" they left, the crunch of the gravel under their shoes getting quieter and quieter the further away they got.

"Do you want to do it now? Or are you gonna be okay to stick to the plan?"

"I'll stick to the plan, rather not embarrass myself in front of the whole school if she doesn't like me." He huffed out a breath heavily, as though the weight of the world were just placed on his shoulders and hung his head just wanting to stop feeling so pathetic for being so scared.

"Any reason why you're so adamant that she won't like you? You're really worked up about this, even for someone with a crush that's been building for a few years." Galileo didn't want him to tell him that he'd done something bad in a past relationship or that he was a player or something, he wanted to trust that Blake would be good for his best friend and thankfully he said nothing of the sort.

"She's like everyone's low-key crush bro, she could have pretty much any guy in this school that she wanted, she could probably make a gay guy make an exception from what I've heard." Leo bristled at the comment but tried not to show it as Beck continued. "Add to that the fact that every girl I've ever liked in my whole school life has had a crush on Ryan and you kinda understand why I'm hesitant to believe she might actually like _me_ not someone like Ryan. I love the guy, no homo though, he's like my brother, we've gone to the same schools since first grade! But he has always had girls' attention, he doesn't even care though, he brushes girls off with the same excuse that he has no time for a girlfriend but I don't know how he thinks he's ever going to get a wife if he thinks he's busy in high school, I don't think he really gets that life is busy, he's always gonna be busy and when he realizes that he'll be 40 and all the girls he brushed off will be married and he'll be alone.

"He's the only one on the team who doesn't have their eye on someone they want to have a shot with, even you have that girl you were mumbling about being hot and I know you said you were 'just interested in pretty faces' or whatever the hell kind of excuse you came out with but you were blushing and frustrated about it. You've been here what? A week? Two weeks? You've already got someone you like and he hasn't liked anyone since we were like 13 yet he's got so many girls who want him because they think they can change his mind about not getting a girlfriend. My point is, girls I've liked tend to go for Ryan and I don't want to tell Amanda I like her then have her tell me she likes my teammate, makes me feel inadequate." Leo tried to push down his blush at the incident he'd thought Beck had forgotten and the fact that the person he supposedly 'had his eye on' was the same person who refused to spare anyone any attention that could be put into his football. Instead he nodded along in understanding, hoping his blush would die down soon but Beck had other plans.

"So... who's the girl?" Beck smiled weakly, clearly trying to take his mind off Amanda and his confession for a little while, they were missing class but what kind of friend would Leo be if he left Beck to think about it and get more upset as he sat in a math lesson he already understood because he'd done the unit at Linton already? Not a great one he supposed, so reluctantly Leo took a seat and ran a hand over his face trying to think of a way to do this without outing himself before he was sure the team would accept it.

"There's no girl bro"

"Come ooooon I tell you about my mega dork crush on your best friend but you can't tell me about your baby crush on someone here?" How was he going to do this?

"Bro I'm serious! I don't have a crush on anyone, I can appreciate an attractive appearance, same way I appreciate art. I hardly know anyone here yet, let alone have a crush on someone " it was true, he'd only been there for a couple weeks at most, he'd lost track of time but it definitely hadn't even been a month yet, he couldn't possibly have a crush so soon, at least that's what he kept telling himself when Ryan popped up unexpectedly in his brain at the word 'crush'. There was no way he liked Ryan, not on anything more than a superficial level, he had a pretty face and a nice body that was all, Leo concluded, but he knew better, he knew he wanted to get to know Ryan, understand him, make him smile more than he frowned and it was weird.

He shouldn't have felt the need to make the guy who made him feel bad about his sexuality each time he accidentally let a hint slip, feel happy, he shouldn't have wanted to get to know the guy who got angry at him just for existing but he did and it would only end badly if he let himself indulge those wants.

The rest of the school day dragged on, the teachers seemingly becoming more lethargic and slow as the lessons went on and Leo practically leapt out of his seat, shoved his stuff in his backpack and left to get Amanda to come to the field so the plan would work.

"Why do you want me here for practice? There aren't even any hot guys for me to look at it's just you being an idiot while Ryan yells at you."

"Someone else from the team is gonna be there too and I know your dad won't get here till 5 anyway so you may as well come and keep him company while watching your awesome best friend practice to be even awesomer"

"It's 'more awesome' not 'awesomer' dweeb"

"Yeah whatever gramma gatekeeper, come on I can't be late and I've still gotta change, Ryan will have my balls if I'm not there" Amanda smirked as she let her best friend drag her towards the field.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" His grip on her wrist tightened and she giggled knowingly. "You would as well! Dirty fcker! You're so gay, I don't even know why you still say you're bi, you like d¡ck waaaay too much to be bi"

"'Manda." He looked over his shoulder with a warning look. "You know that's not how this works, I might like one more than the other usually but that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to both" she rolled her eyes and stopped him just as they reached the field to pull him into a hug.

"I know Gally, I was just messin' with you, you also like tits too much to be gay I was just trying to get you to blush over mr bad boy that you obviously like."

"I don't like Ryan! Not like that. And could you keep it down? I'm not out to the guys yet and I'd rather not have them find out accidentally and be weird about it." She nodded with a smirk and kissed his cheek.

"Sure, go practice with your boyfriend before this turns into a poorly made kinky porn scenario" she laughed and ran onto the bleachers so he couldn't scold her.

***  
  


The plan was going well, Leo was practicing really well for saying he was keeping an eye on Beck and Amanda in the stands but Ryan could tell his attention was split and was starting to get irritated. "I swear Leo if you don't stop checking on your girlfriend I will get Beck to take her home!" He growled and Leo stopped what he was doing to roll his eyes, a poor choice because Ryan had him pinned to the floor in seconds. "I'm taking my time to help you out here pumpkin head, don't you fcking dare roll your eyes at me again, you're lucky I'm even doing this, I don't give _anyone_ this much of my time, don't waste it." Ryan realized how close his face had come to Leo's and quickly sat up straight and got off the smaller boy who was actually quite enjoying the weight of the captain on him, almost like weighted blanket.

"First of all she's my friend not my girlfriend, if she were I wouldn't be trying to set her and Beck up would I? I'm a lot of things but some kind of self made cuckold ain't one of them. I was only looking to see if they were okay, Beck has been super nervous all day about telling her he likes her and I don't want my best friend or my teammate getting hurt okay? I get that I need to focus and that you're taking time out for me and I really appreciate it, I do, because I know you're a busy person and I'm probably eating into your relaxing time or practice time for yourself and I feel bad about it but I can't focus when I'm thinking about other people and they need me to be on alert just in case Beck gets too nervous or-" shocked by the level of care Galileo already had for his teammates Ryan interrupted still trying to keep his demeanor closed off and not show how proud he felt that Leo was being a team player on and off the field.

"I'll keep an eye on them, you practice deal? Clear your head and just do the tasks and I'll tell you if you're needed okay pumpkin?" What was supposed to be somewhat of an insult blended with a nickname sounded more affectionate than Ryan had intended even with his hard tone but he couldn't take it back so he acted as though he hadn't heard the affection in his own voice and turned towards the bleachers, the signal for a blushing and flustered Leo to get up and get back to work.

***

Beck. Why hadn't he told her the other guy was going to be Beck?! Granted she hadn't told him of her crush since when she tried to it was the same day he made it onto the team and if he knew he'd surely blurt it out with his lack of filter and big mouth. Of all the guys in school Beck was the only one she liked both in looks _and_ personality, there were quite a few hot guys and a couple sweet, calming, guys who didn't just have sex on the brain but Beck was just both, she was sure there must be other guys like him in the school somewhere but none of them had helped her calm down when they barely knew her, none of them had given her the same kind smile that Beck always seemed to have, the one she thought was given to everyone and had no clue was reserved for only her when he passed her in the hallway or talked briefly with her in class.

She liked him but from the way he was always turning away so fast from her attempts to talk she'd accepted that he didn't like her and he was just a nice guy that she'd never really have a chance with.

After sitting together awkwardly for about 10 minutes she spoke up "So...how come you stayed to watch this practice?" As luck would have it she'd tried to start up a conversation at the same time he muttered something to himself. "I'm sorry, what was that? I was talking over you, you go" she apologized hoping he didn't think she was rude.

"I-I said I'm not sure I can do this"

"Do what?" Her head lolled to one side I'm confusion as she tried to look him in the eyes but his head was hung and he took a few deep breaths before he grasped onto a slither of courage and spilled his guts.

"Amanda, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, please don't think I'm weird but I've um I've had a crush on you for like 3 years now and it just keeps getting worse, I thought it might be a passing crush that would go after the first time I tried to tell you but it didn't and I just keep getting more and more nervous to even talk to you when I used to be fine with it, I used to love talking to you in science then I worried you wouldn't like me if I told you so I started to close off and I wish I hadn't but I just really liked you and if you didn't like me I would've been fine then, hurt for a while but fine, but I didn't tell you and now I like you even more and it's ridiculous because you deserve someone who's brave enough to talk about their feelings not someone who just collapses in on themselves. I really like you and it's okay if you don't like me back, I understand and hopefully now that I've told you I can move on if you don't feel the same but if you do would you maybe want to go on a date with me?"

Did this boy have diver's lungs or something? She didn't think she heard him take a breath throughout the whole of his confession and her heart was in her throat as it all registered. Her crush, this incredibly sweet guy she'd liked the look of since she first saw him and liked his personality since she realised it was him who had helped her out when she felt faint, that same guy liked her and wanted to go on a date with her! She squeaked like a mouse embarrassingly in her excitement and surged forward to hug him, his strong arms hesitating before she felt them wrap around her waist.

"Yes! Did Leo tell you I like you? Is that where this came from?" She asked into his shoulder, she didn't want to part with him yet "how did he find out, I never told him" Beck smiled like a man who had everything and pulled away from her slowly.

"He never told me you liked me, but he did say there was a chance and that I needed to tell you I liked you, he's like an undercover Cupid" he chuckled and looked down to the field where Ryan was watching Leo do exercises and checking in on the couple as promised.

"GALILEO FIGARO MAGNIFICO! YOU SET ME UP!" Amanda yelled as if scolding him with his full name rather than using song lyrics but it worked either way as Leo looked up to see the pair embracing and smiled proudly.

"Thank me later! Now stop watching me, creeps, go on a date or something I don't know! Whatever you do, don't be silly, wrap the willy okay?!" He yelled shamelessly which caused a blush to redden Beck's whole face.

"Leaving!" Amanda replied, finishing the conversation and ushered her blushing date off the bleachers and turned to Leo to mouth a thank you that she'd no doubt repeat later after her date.

"You really care about them huh?" Ryan asked as Leo did his best to do the number of push ups Ryan had asked of him.

"Yeah-argggh- of course- how the frick do you do these!?" He huffed and collapsed in an ungraceful belly flop onto the grass, pouting, that is until he heard Ryan's chuckle and felt as thought he'd finally achieved something during this practice.

"Here, like this, keep your legs straight, have your back at a slope from head hight to toe height, don't dip below that or above it okay? Try again, I'll help you figure out the right form" Ryan sat beside him as he lifted his upper body with his pale, wobbly, freckled arms. "Yep, you're dipping your tummy too low, you're here-" he hovered his hand just below his belly, his palm brushing the fabric of his shirt that dropped from his frame because of its size. "You need to be here" his hand pressed carefully to Leo's stomach and pushed him gently into place. "Now try, it won't be any easier but at least you'll be starting out on solid form. Want me to guide you up and down a few times until you get a feel for how you should hold yourself?" The hand on his stomach was painfully distracting, so warm and gentle but it made him self conscious.

Try as he might, Leo never seemed to be able to gain much weight, instead he stayed scrawny, he wasn't squishy or cuddly in most places and although a lot of people said they'd kill for his metabolism he was always hungry and still felt like a skeleton in comparison to everyone else, being pretty skinny had its perks but he didn't feel healthy, his smallness wasn't good and everyone wanted to point it out each chance they got, especially his height, he'd struggled with his weight when he was younger, people made it all too clear that he was too thin, too weak and too bony. 'Twig', 'skeleton' and 'scarecrow' were all things he'd been called at some point, sometimes in jest by his mother who was concerned herself but tried to joke to brighten the situation but it didn't make him feel any better at all.

"Um no- no I got it, you can uh stop now." His stuttering was saddening, Ryan could hear the discomfort in every word and wondered if he'd done something to upset the other boy again without realizing it. He removed his hand and watched Leo stay straight as a board while he did a few more push ups until the goal was met. That was their practice for the day done and Leo got up, ready to catch the bus not bothering to get changed but Ryan called him back.

"Hey, sorry if I made you uncomfortable again there, I don't really know what I did but you don't seem too happy about it. If something oversteps your boundaries just tell me and we'll work around it, I'm a tough teacher not a complete jack@ss" he joked and Leo cracked a smile feeling slightly better about future practices.

"Thanks Ryan, you know, you're a really nice guy when you're not yelling at me to do something" they shared one last laugh and Ryan rolled his eyes, felling truly comfortable with Leo, man this was bad. He could feel the warmth of his own smile, could feel the beginnings of butterflies coming out of their cocoons in his belly at the sound of Leo's laughter.

_I am not gay. I do not like Galileo, he's just a nice guy. I am not gay, I just want to be friends, I just want to make a friend happy is all. I am NOT gay._ He kept repeating the same mantra to himself as he drove home, then in the shower and even at the dinner table he found himself doing it only to be snapped out of it by Rosalie who kicked him under the table.

"Ow! What the fu-"

"Language Ryan." His mother scolded and he rolled his eyes, it was just a word but nevertheless he caught himself and glared at his older sister.

"What? You were looking at your food like you wanted to re-kill it, what's the matter little brother?" Her concern only served to concern him, if Rosalie was being serious with him then there was definitely something wrong and he hated that he knew that that something wrong was the fluttery feeling in his stomach which he couldn't deny and the craving to get to know the boy who triggered it.

He'd never felt the need to understand someone so much as he did Leo, he was an anomaly. So friendly and outspoken but yet he closed himself off, all his stories were focused on other people, mainly his ex's or his friends, he never made himself the main character. He was subtly closed off and guarded, made you believe you knew so much about him but Ryan could tell when someone was deflecting, he'd done it enough throughout the years, wanting to separate himself from everyone else, he was as introverted as an extrovert could be without crossing that distinction between the two, and he was a ball of anxiousness at times but no one knew that, he'd hide it, shove it all behind the 'mysterious bad boy/loner' persona, like when relatives come over and you push all the mess into the cupboards or under the beds so everything looks put together on the outside but it's all jumbled once you really look and see the chaos.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired from practice and helping that guy."

"Why does that make you want to kill your already dead chicken though?"

"I don't know okay!? My face just looks like this, just leave it alone Ro!" His chair screeched back and his knife and fork clattered against his plate and the table before he stormed off, grabbing his coat and stuffing his feet into his shoes as he shoved his way out of the door and pulled it to slam shut behind him.

_I can't be gay, I can't like Leo, I can't. I won't. I won't accept it, I'm not gay, I just think he has a nice smile and pretty eyes..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the change in formatting, this is my first fic on this site so I’m still sort of finding my feet with it. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter! :) 
> 
> Also Ryan touching Leo’s tummy is so cute, too bad I can’t let characters be too happy so soon, still got 16 chapters to get them to be happy (chapter 21 is a one-shot type thing I just wanted to throw in.) 
> 
> Sorry for such a long chapter note, Wow *.*, have a good day :)


	5. Storm on the gaydar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~gay crisis~

He'd missed the bus. He didn't have the energy to run after it as he saw it leave just as he got off school grounds so he resulted to walking home, it wasn't so far that it would take him too long but it was far enough to be an inconvenience, especially when it decided to pour with rain for a solid half an hour and his body couldn't generate the heat to stay out getting drenched so he found refuge at the local park, lying in the crawl tube between the slide and the climbing frame where it was at least dry enough for him to start getting a little warmer but his whole body was still shivering uncontrollably.

Walking home in his extra practice kit, just some shorts and an old tshirt, seemed fine when the sun was blazing, but the sudden down pour made Leo hate his decision but at least he had dry clothes in his bag to awkwardly shimmy into in the small space as he waited out the stormy weather.

His parents we're both at work so there was no point calling to tell them he'd be late home, besides, he didn't want to waste his phone battery in case the rain didn't stop and he'd have to call them later or use the torch to get home safe.

Fortunately the rain stopped eventually and Leo continued his walk home wearily, he was still frozen to the bone even in dry clothes, his mamma would kill him if she knew he'd stayed out in the rain instead of waiting for the next bus, he thought walking would be easier but it was proving itself to be a nightmare!

He was lost in his thoughts as he walked and accidentally walked right into someone who was bustling the other way down the sidewalk and subsequently got knocked onto his butt right into a huge puddle that would do him no good in terms of heat.

He felt like crying, like nothing was going right and all he wanted to do was go home and hug his mamma and wrap himself in blankets with a bowl of soup to soothe the cold he'd no doubt have after the afternoon and early evening he'd had.

His butt hurt, his nose was running, his arms ached from the press ups, his whole body was still chilled and to top it all off his eyes stung with salty tears. He felt pathetic and nothing would fix that, not today at least.

On shaking legs with weak arms he pushed himself off the floor and sniffled with a humourless laugh at his jeans which had soaked up the puddle water and made it look like he'd wet himself, perfect! "Of course, of course this had to-to happen, as-as if my day could get any w-w-worse!" His jaw bobbed uncontrollably as he shivered making his words come out in an involuntary stutter that made him feel even weaker, what a joke.

"Galileo?" He turned to see the person who had shoved him stood a few feet behind him in a coat and hoodie, eyes slightly red as if he'd been about to cry himself but they were worried looking now. "Fck. Leo I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was headed and I didn't see you there. You okay?"

What on earth was happening? Leo had never quite seen this side of Ryan, he looked so worried and upset and his voice wasn't emotionless like it usually seemed to be. Strange was a good word for it but a good strange, a nice strange that made Leo think that maybe the team captain wasn't unconcerned by everything around him but rather just stressed at school and more relaxed outside the grounds.

"Not-not really, s'okay, I'm nearly ho-home" it was only when Leo spoke that Ryan could see how cold the boy was, his hands, his lips, his knees all shaking, it made the butterflies in his stomach viciously flap their wings within him and his stomach dropped feeling awful for the vaguely blue lipped boy before him.

"How far have you got to go? You look like a popsicle"

"A-a couple blocks, I'll be-be fine"

"No, come with me, my house is literally just over there, you can get warmed up and then I'll drive you home, you look like you're gonna drop dead any minute, what happened to you?" He coaxed Leo to walk with him back to his house and studied the wobbling frown on his freckled face.

"Started raining and I- I got cold" it was vague but Ryan took it, not wanting to upset Leo more than he already clearly was as they walked towards his house.

"Before we go in, I kinda had a bit of an argument with my sister before I came out that's why I wasn't concentrating on where I was going so it might be a bit awkward but you've got to get warm, ok?"

Leo just nodded, anything he said came out wobbly anyway and it was bad enough feeling like he was vibrating from his own involuntary shivers let alone hearing the effects of that feeling, coupled with his steady, almost unnoticeable crying, on his voice

"Okay, I'll get you some new pants, just take your shoes off, my mom will kill me if we get the carpet wet _and_ muddy" he instructed as he led Leo inside.

"Ryan West! That is not how we deal with our emotions in this house! Do you see me and your father yelling whenever we- oh my word, there's a cold, wet boy in our foyer! You poor thing! Ryan honey take the boy to your room and get him some pants while I find some blankets." Ryan did as told and took Leo by the hand to drag him up the stairs to his room, taking his hand was both the worst and best decision, he couldn't believe he liked a guy, he wouldn't believe it but on the other hand, holding Leo's freezing cold hand in his much warmer one and feeling Leo squeeze his hand in return just added a downpour of emotion to the already gathered puddle of happiness and a strange sense of excitement that had settled itself in his stomach at the thought of Leo. Of course Ryan had denied it all day, that same feeling that lingered with him at the thought of getting to know Leo, but the feeling was there and he couldn't just pretend it away, though he tried to.

Ryan ignored the feeling some more and searched every drawer for something that might fit Leo but each set of pants they tried just fell down. "You're so small" he murmured to himself as he put away the 2nd pair of jeans and heard a soft sniffle behind him followed by a feeble 'sorry'. "Hey, no, don't apologize, I just don't have anything in your size and that's fine it's just not helpful when you're shaking like a leaf. Maybe we should try some sweats, that way we can just tighten the drawstrings? Don't worry about it, we'll sort it, it's my fault your pants got wet in the first place, so don't apologise to me okay? _I'm_ sorry, now let's get you some pants that somewhat fit before my sister starts making dumb comments." no sooner had he said those words, Rosalie turned up in his doorway and smirked.

"Are you nearly done dressing lover boy yet? Mom's got all the blankets in the house downstairs like she's building a nest."

"Shut up Ro, stop making him uncomfortable, tell mom we'll be down in a sec"

"You'll be down after sex, got it"

"Ro!"

"Fine, fine, I'm going! Yeesh, someone's touchy today" her smirk stayed intact as she left and Leo was blushing bright red, his freckles only making it look even darker and more noticeable rather than hiding it, he was sure.

"Sorry about her, she's kinda like Jared in that she will never shut up and makes inappropriate jokes constantly. She probably doesn't really think you're gay or anything she just likes irritating me" he explained hoping that his sister's blatant mention of sex hadn't made Leo any more uncomfortable.

"It's - um - fine, I'd rather someone thought I was gay than think I'm annoying or something, there are a whole lot worse things to be called than gay that's for sure, I'd know, my old school wasn't the nicest" where the sudden urge to be open had come from Leo didn't know but it scared him that Ryan was making him feel comfortable enough to talk about himself while still stood there in just a tshirt and underwear! Ryan seemed to ponder this for a moment before he passed Leo some sweats and nodded.

"I guess so, don't you think it'd be a bit weird though? Being gay I mean? Like what if you thought you were straight then realized you were gay or something and I just- I don't know, seems like a lot of unnecessary stress right?" Great, now Ryan was discussing his problem in the third person with the person who triggered said problem, his filter really had started to crack and let things slip while his mind was otherwise occupied, trying to figure out his sexuality. A break in is filter was the last thing he needed in the midst of a sexuality crisis!

"Well, I mean, I think they'd know their whole life something was different, they'd know that liking the opposite sex just didn't click right somehow I guess, so I don't think it's that weird. Unnecessary stress is a bit harsh don’t you think? I’m sure if it were you you’d just want to feel accepted and understood, I wouldn’t call that unnecessary." Ryan nodded, lips pursed.

He thought about that while they went downstairs and his mother fussed over Leo like the mother hen she was. He thought about how easily Leo talked about sexuality the way he did so many other things as if it were a simple and normal as the weather and Ryan could only wish it were as simple as he made it seem.

If he was honest, Ryan had never felt so confused in his life. He looked back on past relationships and tried to think if every touch, every kiss, every smile they shared was actually romantic, if they actually ever had any heat behind them, any kind of connection or even just physical attraction that he wanted to hold on to and grow on but they didn't.

Past relationships were more like friends who do romantic things than romantic partners who were friends in their relationship and sure the girls were pretty but they didn't make his stomach flutter or his heart pound, they didn’t draw him in, didn’t attract him and that was quite possibly the scariest, most earth shattering thing he'd ever come realize. He felt like someone had pulled the rug from beneath his feet and it shocked him into silence.

_I'm gay. I can't believe I'm fcking gay._

***

The next few weeks were torture, now that Ryan understood that he liked guys he all of a sudden convinced himself that he _hated_ the guy who'd made him realize it.

He made Leo's practices harder, glared at him when he wasn't looking, kept his face closed off and annoyed no matter how many times Leo asked if he was okay or cracked a joke to try and lighten his countenance just a little.

It was torture for Leo too. He thought he'd finally gotten through to Ryan, he'd finally befriended the broody loner, but it was made exceedingly apparent to him that this was anything but the case.

What was worse was that he still had Ryan's sweats, he'd washed them and dried them and they sat in his bag day by day, but every time he tried to give them back he'd back out. The hard stare he was given was enough to dishearten him from returning them but he had to be rid of them, he couldn't keep carrying them around.

Eventually he simply went to the locker room early, put them on top of Ryan's locker with a post-it note on the door to let him know they were there as well as a thank you for letting him borrow them, then got changed and out of there as fast as he could for fear of Ryan blowing up at him for no reason, which appeared to be becoming a routine thing.

When Ryan came in and saw the note, particularly the messy scrawl of Leo's name he softened and sighed to himself.

He felt bad, of course he did, he still liked Leo really after all, he just hoped that if he convinced himself that he didn’t it would put distance between them so he could ignore it.

He couldn’t ignore it and with each week that passed and each day that he yelled at his team, the more sullen Leo looked and the more Ryan ached to replace that frown with a smile full of sunshine and braces that were soon to be removed, but he couldn't, he couldn't accept himself and until he could Leo was going to keep suffering the repercussions. 

***

"Bro, could you take it easy on us, you've been on our @sses for like 3 weeks now, we don't have games for another couple months, we still need to practice, I get that bro, but this is a bit much. Heck, I'm pretty sure I heard Leo crying and mumbling that his ankle was killing him the other day in the locker room. He hasn't said anything but I think he twisted it pretty bad, he's been limping all day. It's not fair to make him run on it." Jace reasoned with him and it was only then that he got out of his own head and his own issues long enough to see his team, exhausted and low spirited as Leo ran, limping his way around the field with pain etched onto his soft features.

"You're right, Fck, you're right. Get the guys, stop Galileo running before he hurts himself more and gather round at the bleachers in 5." He brushed his hair back and sighed heavily as Jace left to do as asked.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! Get your head out of your own @ss Ryan, the team needs a captain not an idiot in denial!_ He thought to himself while one hand tugged at the roots of his hair in frustration, this mess had to be fixed, he couldn't keep running from it anymore, it was destroying him and it was destroying his team.

"Okay guys, I know I've been hard on you, I pushed you all well passed your limits and I apologize but now we have an understanding of where we're at and what we can do if we push, I'm just sorry I pushed too hard. Practice on Friday is optional, you've all done enough to have a day off with all we've done over the past month. Go hit the showers and get some rest, and Leo stay behind, I need to take a look at your ankle" everyone gladly returned to the lockers to let hot water wash away the dirt and ease their aching muscles while Leo sat on the bleachers feeling beyond intimidated after the past few weeks of being brutally yelled at.

Ryan knelt at Leo's feet and took off one of his cleats and the sock to inspect the damage. It looked red and a bit bruised at the joint and Ryan couldn't believe he hadn't noticed the limp until Jace pointed it out.

It was his fault that this innocent boy was hurt and it felt awful to realize that his internal struggle with himself had cost the team their energy, spirit and cost Leo his confidence and his ankle.

Ryan winced at the painful sight before him "I'm sorry Leo, I should never have pushed you guys so hard, I should have noticed you weren't okay- fck! I've really screwed up this time. My mom would kill me if she knew I let you run like this, she gushed about you for like half an hour when you were at my house that time, how you're 'such a nice boy' and how you're 'so intelligent and funny and very charming for someone your age'. Thanks for the pants back by the way, I know I haven't been easy to talk to this past month, I'm not surprised it took so long for you to get them back to me." He laughed humorlessly and looked up at Leo whose face was drawn down into a deep frown, his eyes glassy and downcast.

"Why-um why have you been like that? Was it something I did? Because it feels like ever since that day you just turned more sour, like I'd done something to make you so mad you just burst and I've been trying for all these weeks to figure out what I did to make you put us through hell and back." Ryan looked around as if anyone were there to be listening and sat back on the grass, his knees bent and his forearms rested on his kneecaps as he tried to figure out what to say, Leo deserved an explanation, he _had_ been taking out his frustrations mainly on the brown eyed boy.

"Ok. You remember when you were at my house and we had that whole conversation about someone hypothetically being gay or realizing they were?" Leo's eyes widened immediately, did Ryan know he was bi? Did he have such a problem with it that he was this mad? He pushed down his questions with a gulp and nodded. "Okay um-fck, this is hard" Ryan took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he breathed in. "I uh- I kinda realized I'm not straight and I've been having a lot of trouble coming to terms with that and you kinda helped me realize it in that conversation so I kinda took it out on you as if you'd somehow 'caused' it just because you made me realize it. And that's no excuse for hurting you like this, it wasn't fair on you or the team and I feel like sh¡t but please don't tell the guys, I'm really not ready and I'm already panicking right now that's kinda why I'm rambling and saying 'kinda' too much because that's my thing when I get anxious when I'm explaining stuff and it drives Ro crazy so please don't think I'm annoying I'm just really-"

Leo put a hand over Ryan's mouth to silence his babbling and pulled him into a hug. He stroked his fingers hesitantly through his rich dark brown hair and held him as securely as he possibly could whilst counting up slowly to 10 and back down again until Ryan's chest stopped moving quite so fast.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me, since you trust me enough I guess I should trust you, mutual destruction kinda thing just in case you're still worried I'll out you, I'm Bi, so I'm not gonna judge you. And if you're still having trouble with it you can come talk to me or message me, clearly keeping it to yourself has done you and the rest of us no good." Ryan didn't want to look up at him because that meant pulling away and Leo's arms were far too comforting and grounding for him to want to leave them just yet.

"You-you're bi?"

"Yup, see? You're not alone, if you need to talk things through we can, you've spared your time for me, I'm happy to do the same, especially for something like this. You wanna talk now for a bit? I've got nowhere to be, if you're free I'd be happy to listen" Ryan hesitated, was talking with his crush really what he needed? Surely it wouldn't end well, then again it wasn't like keeping his thoughts to himself had ended very well either so he pulled himself together, pulled away from Leo's comforting embrace and nodded.

"If you're sure, you must think I'm such a d¡ck, I put you through hell then have a breakdown and you still comfort me and understand my stupid feelings."

"Hey! They're not stupid, just different to what you thought. Now come sit up here and talk to me about cute boys would ya?" Ryan blushed and shifted from the floor to the seat beside Leo. "Soooo, you've been struggling with this for like a month now, is there someone who started it? Looks wise I mean, me and my gay talk don't count" he smiled softly, encouraging the other boy to speak.

"I um, I mean sort of I guess? I don't really know if I like them or if they just kinda made me think about guys more and that did it y'know?" Leo nodded along, ever smiling.

"I get it, I remember when I was starting to come to terms with the fact that I was a bendy ruler rather than a completely straight one, I saw these two guys kiss at the park and I just liked that, I liked the idea of being able to kiss a pretty guy, have a relationship with a guy, just not that particular guy. Do you think you've got a type figured out yet or do you not really have a type do you think?"

Again Ryan felt his cheeks flush and Leo smiled wider, he couldn't help it "aww you're so cute when you're all flustered! This side of you is so cute but it would ruin your rep and you'd probably get a lot more female attention that you don't want, guess that's why you're a bit rough and tough huh?"

"Shut up, I'm not cute. And on the type front I'm pretty certain I've got a thing for brown eyes, don't know why but yeah"

"Oh you are definitely cute, don't even try and argue on that front mr lonely-bad-boy-captain. Just because you don't believe it doesn't mean it isn't true!" Ryan chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"How are you so open like that? I'd be terrified to call a guy cute even if it was just a joke like that" Leo rolled his eyes and nudged the dark haired boy gently

"I'm sort of comfortable with you, I know you're not gonna judge me because we're pretty much in the same boat and it's important that you get to feel like you don't have to be just tough all the time, you can be cute too. It wasn't a joke, you really are cute when you're flustered like that and that's okay, cute doesn't suddenly chop off your manhood or something, it's just an adjective and you can't be scared of it. That being said my mamma has called me her 'little star' since forever so I'm probably a lot more open to that kind of cutesy stuff than you are but your mamma did call you 'honey' so I don't know, maybe it's just because I've been okay with it for longer, I've accepted myself and you're still struggling, I can tell."

He was indeed struggling still, he was struggling to think of how it would go down when he came out to everyone else, if he ever did, he imagined himself being ripped from the team, being cast out by the few friends he had, his parents hating him and his sister being disgusted despite her jokes about it. He was scared out of his mind and he didn't want to be alone in all this. But he wasn't, not as long as Leo stuck around.

"I'm..." he took a deep breath to try and settle his nerves before he continued "I'm scared. I've kinda come to terms with it, I get that I can't change it and I can't control it but I'm scared about everyone else finding out, my parents, my sister, the school, coach, the team... I don't want to be cast off, I'm a loner but I like the friends I have, I love my family and I love football and I don't want to lose any of that." The ginger boy nodded in understanding, he'd felt much the same when he decided to come out and he'd have to do it again now that he'd switched schools but it gave him an idea.

"Well I can't help with the family situation but I'm not out here, I was at my old school but no one but you and Amanda know here, what if I come out first and take the brunt of it so when you're ready it won't be so bad for you? I don't mind, I came out at Linton I can do it here, I'm scared of what the guys will say because we shower and change in the same room and people always get grossed out by it or ask questions like if I've stared at their d¡ck or something but worst that will happen is I get kicked off the team, if that happens and you come out they're not going to kick off their captain like they would the newbie. Don't worry, whatever happens I'll be there, I'll help you through it and it's their loss if they think that your sexuality is a valid reason to kick you off the team. Whenever you decide you're ready to come out just tell me and we'll figure something out to soften the blow.

“I'm sure your sister will be fine with it, she seemed pretty chill about making a joke about us having sex so I don't see why she'd get upset about you actually liking a guy." Yeah- yeah, maybe Ro _would_ be okay with him, Ryan thought both nervous but warm at the thought of her backing him up.

***

That evening Ryan laid in bed wondering if he'd ever be ready to come out, Rosalie might accept him but she also might not and then she'd tell their parents and he'd get kicked out as soon as he turned 18 if they didn't accept him. He couldn't lose his family over something as simple as who he fancied!

As if she'd heard his worried train of thought his sister walked into his room and sat beside him on the bed. "You, little bro, need to be more careful where you spill your secrets" she whispered and stroked his hair back from his forehead. "Just because I'm in college doesn't mean I don't still go down to the school to meet up with old friends under the bleachers and have a smoke, you're lucky I was the first one there" she smiled and traced her thumb over the scar on his upper cheek, the gesture almost maternal and her eyes warm and accepting.

Immediately he sat up and hugged her tight, tears in his eyes as she rubbed his back soothingly. "It's okay, it's okay, Shh I still love you, you little Emo. That boy you were talking to, the one that came round here, is he the same one you made cry that I said you might have a crush on like 2 months ago?" He nodded into her shoulder, tears wetting her jacket as he held onto her like she was his last chance of survival. "You like him, don't you?" Again he nodded and his breathing stuttered as he thought about Galileo and how he called him cute.

"Ry? You've got to tell mom and dad. You know how mom is about keeping her out of the loop, I'll make sure they don't say anything bad, I'll back you up but you've got to do it, you know you do. They won't ask as many questions if you just tell them outright, remember when I started smoking and they threw a fit and told me to just be honest next time to I told them when I got that tattoo of Ed from Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy and they were totally fine with it? You can't try and hide big things from them, they'll only get more upset. I know you're scared, I heard it all but I've got your back little bro, I won't let anyone make my brother feel bad about himself" she pushed him off her gently to look him in the eye seriously and finally he relented.

"Fine, but after that that's enough outing for one week, I'm not coming out to everyone until I'm ready, if mom tells Uncle Joe or Aunt Mel about this before I'm ready I'll lose my fcking sh¡t" Rosalie laughed and wiped her brother's eyes and cheeks of tears.

"Yeah yeah, come on mister crush on the new boy"

"Ro!"

"Oh come on! Can I at least know the kid's name? He made my baby bro have a gay crisis for fck's sake!"

"It's Leo... his name's Leo okay? Well it’s actually Galileo, but everyone calls him Leo... Can we just drop it? I've blushed enough to officially be considered a tomato"

"Ok, let's go tell our parents that Leo tickles your pickle"

"RO!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! :)
> 
> Ryan being emotional but not knowing how to deal with it properly was an iffy one to try and write, but hopefully this fits him and doesn’t seem out of character or anything *fingers crossed*
> 
> Anywhooo, have a good day <3


	6. Confessions and conception

"My sister found out and made me tell my parents" Ryan couldn't keep the words in any longer, the second he was alone with Leo he spilled his guts.

"Oh? And how'd it go? You don't seem upset so I'm guessing they took it better than expected?"

_"I told you Jim! I knew the kissing wasn't a phase! See?!"_

_"Yes sweetheart, you win, how was I supposed to know him making his action figures kiss and kissing them at night was because he's gay? I thought he was copying what Ro used to do with her ken and barbie dolls and that creepy baby doll your mom got her."_

_"It wasn't creepy, it was... unique"_

_"Mom, it was creepy. I hated that thing why do you think I'd only get action figures with masks, that doll's face was creepy as hell"_

"Waaaay better, turns out my mom had always had a feeling I was gay and my dad was more just watching my mum rant that she was right, he didn't really care, he just likes seeing my mom happy" Leo 'aww'ed at that and continued to throw the ball trying to throw far enough to reach the hula hoop Ryan had set out for him to aim for.

"Your family are so sweet, even if your sister is a female Jace" he chuckled and ran to get the ball back. "Know what my parents did? They sat silent for a solid 5 minutes and then asked if that meant I still liked girls too and then asked if they'd get grandkids still! I think they still hope I'll end up marrying a girl, they're okay with my sexuality as long as they get grandkids but I'm always worried that I'll bring a guy home and they'll just hate me for it if I end up staying with him even though they took my coming out pretty well. I wish my parents had been more okay with it like that" he sighed and tossed the ball, channeling his emotions into the throw which landed directly in the hoop then bounced a few feet from it.

It was strange to hear him talk with such defeat about his own experience, Ryan had assumed Leo's coming out went well from how confident he was in his sexuality but knowing that wasn't the case made him feel something in his chest ache for his crush, Leo deserved to feel free not like he had a leash around his neck waiting to tug him away from someone his parents didn't approve of. It took some real strength to be so confident in something his parents didn't fully understand or accept about him, of that Ryan was certain.

"Is that why all your stories are about ex girlfriends? Have you not actually had a boyfriend?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm not sure how they'd feel about it and I don't want to put a guy through meeting them if all they're going to do is scrutinize him. I haven't even kissed a guy, not that I've never been close or never wanted to but kissing is just so intimate to me and once you do that you kinda feel compelled to do it again if it's good and I just didn't want to catch feelings and bring a boy home just to have him get upset by my parents. I'd love to I just don't want to do that to a guy, y'know? You won't have that problem though by the sounds of it, your mom is really lovely so I don't doubt your boyfriend would be accepted right away, that's good, takes the pressure off you a little."

Every part of his explanation gave Ryan more reasons to want to embrace him and comfort him, sure Leo had been out for longer and he was bi not gay but the pressure from his parents to get a girlfriend and have kids in the future must've been back breaking at times, it was insane that he didn't have some kind of nervous breakdown every time he got a crush on a guy.

Ryan decided a change of topic was in order as he practically heard Leo's energy levels drop to the floor, so he did something he never did. He cut practice short and led Leo into one of the abandoned classes where the stoners usually hung out during school hours, he'd been there with his sister a few times when he was younger and knew that if anyone were there to hear them they'd likely be high anyway.

"Ryan? Why are we alone in an empty old classroom? You're not gonna murder me are you?"

"No Pumpkin boy, I'm not gonna kill you" he rolled his eyes and smiled just as a little bird flew from the ceiling right past Leo who squeaked and ran, with a slight limp still, to Ryan in fear to hold onto him out of instinct.

"What was that!? Ryan I don't like this" it was sick and wrong of him to feel but Ryan couldn't help feeling happy that Leo was holding onto him even if only out of fear, he liked the way his name sounded on his lips too, it was in poor taste to make him stay when he was scared but he wanted to lighten his mood and if that meant holding him while they sat in an old building with birds in the roof then so be it.

"It's okay, it was just a bird, I won't let anything hurt you, do you trust me? I just want to pick you up a bit, you started nose diving when we talked about your parents so I thought we could just sit and you could tell me about your type being as I don't really have much thought through, maybe you'll give me some ideas and it'll make you a bit happier." The bird flew above them again and Leo hid in Ryan's chest feeling it rumble with soft laugher as he did so before the feeling of a hand in his hair calmed him and Ryan guided him to sit on one of the old chairs while he himself perched on the desk.

"Hair has to be long enough to run my fingers through but not so long that it could get in the way of a kiss because hair in the mouth when you're kissing is so irritating and I've had to deal with it with girls, I don't want the same with guys. I'm a sucker for like little moles that you have to look for, I've got so many freckles, you don't have to look far to find anything but I like seeing people with really plain skin and seeing how many moles or birthmarks I can find, it's just relaxing. Oooh! And a little bit of muscle, not obscene like body builder or whatever but just a hint because let's face it who doesn't like a strong guy? I mean you can be strong and have a bit of a tummy or whatever, but I'm very touchy feely so I wouldn't want to make someone feel insecure about it if they had a bit of a pudgy tummy and I just kept lying on it or kissing it or something, I know what it's like to not exactly like your body so I wouldn't want to put someone through that. I'm pretty tactile so I'd probably do it without thinking what I'm doing so best to avoid it if there's a chance I'll upset someone, at least until I'm a bit less touchy-feely but I dunno if that's ever gonna happen.

"Plus I'm a sucker for biceps, again, not like super bulging muscles but strong, it's really attractive when a guy knows when to stop going so hard in the gym, like we get that you want to look like mr muscles but if you go too far you get big shoulder muscles and then you just kinda look like a big guy pooping a skinny guy out of your shoulders and that's not exactly my thing."

Leo kept on babbling on about his type and all the little things he'd want in a relationship that he doubted he'd ever get but it was nice to think about it all. Ryan continued to listen, his mind taking it all in and trying to see if he even remotely fit into what he was saying in hopes that he had a shot. Somehow they'd talked away an hour and Ryan's dad was calling him asking where he was. "I'm sorry, I've got to go, you want a lift home?"

"Sure, thanks. Um thanks for taking my mind off my parents too, I love them so much but I just get so paranoid that they only love me still because there's a chance they'll still have a daughter in law some day. You really made me feel a lot better so yeah, thanks... by the way, I'm not scared of birds, I promise, I just don't like them close to my head, my hair looks like a birds nest enough without an actual bird in it" he joked as they made their way to Ryan's car and got in ready to head home only his phone started ringing again on the way and he asked Leo to put it on speaker phone.

"Waddup little brother? How’s my little gaybie bro doing?" Leo tried not to laugh but instead of annoying Ryan, as it usually would if someone laughed at his sister taking the p¡ss, Leo's happiness just made him smile at the road ahead.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, be careful about calling me that, what if I had one of the guys with me?"

"Eh, it's probably that Leo kid since you never shut up about him-"

"Ro!" The line went quiet for a few seconds before she spoke again.

"Well sh¡t. He's with you isn't he?" Ryan's hands started sweating nervously, hoping Leo wouldn't find this awkward from now on, he was content just being friends but not if Leo was gonna be awkward about it.

"Hi, this is the Leo that you're 'gaybie' has bi-friended what's this about him talking about me? Were you torturing him for information? I'm flattered but alas you are just an acquaintance, you must let me go! I'm sure you have other means of filling the void in your life-" he didn't even get to finish before she started laughing at his melodramatic nonsense.

"He's a funny little dude huh? If you ever feel like banging my brother I'd be totally fine with that, he needs someone with humor superior to his own."

Leo tuned to Ryan with a dopey smile "Hear that? _Me_ banging _you_ pfff,” he looked back to the car speaker as if he could see Rosalie and address her through it “if anyone would be on the receiving end out of the two of us it'd be me, think about it, your brother is bigger and stronger than me, I ain't topping a natural born top! Unless he asked nicely" he winked at Ryan not sure if he was joking anymore or not but it was fun watching Ryan squirm in his seat and try to focus on the road.

"Ry you have my approval to fck the boy"

"Ro, shut the hell up, your permission means nothing, we're not dating! Even if we were, I'm pretty sure it would be Leo's choice if he wanted my d¡ck up his @ss don't you think?" Leo giggled at the flustered boy beside him and had to bite his lip to stop being so loud.

"Aww, he's a giggler! Leo please date my little bro, pretty please? You're more fun than he is"

"Hey!" Again Leo giggled only this time he found himself patting Ryan on the shoulder as if to tell him he thought he was fun. "What did you actually call for apart from to make fun of me?"

"Oh yeah! Mom and dad want you to get some stuff for dinner, we ran out of pasta and we need milk for tomorrow morning." Ryan groaned and cast Leo an apologetic look which was promptly met with a smile only an angel would wear.

"We're almost home but I could go to the store just before our house if that's okay Leo? I promise we won't be long"

"Yeah, go for it, you're driving me home, as long as I don't end up in a ditch I don't care how we get there."

Once the few items were bought, Ryan dropped Leo off at his house and drove home feeling as though he'd been pantsed in front of his crush by none other than his sister. If he was worried about Leo finding out before, he was even more nervous for when he find out now, no one wants their crush to seem like nothing more than a joke.

He put the pasta on the counter and the milk in the fridge and took his vanilla and cookie dough ice cream upstairs so he could have at least some of it before the vultures (aka Rosalie and his mom) descended and finished _his_ food. At least he had hoped he could finish some of it but as always he had no such luck, instead he entered his room to find Rosalie on his bed, her long brown hair fanned out over his pillow no doubt molting all over it and her shoe clad feet were getting his sheets dirty. Having had enough of her for one day he shoved her feet off his bed and sat in their place, she couldn't hog _all_ of his bed at least.

"Oh come oooon! He's cute and funny and you know it, don't sulk about it! He wasn't awkward about it, maybe he likes you back"

"Yeah right, whatever you say Ro, he's just a nice guy, he doesn't like me, he likes that he can be more open with me. that's it." She sat up, her hair a tangled mess but her face showed she didn't care as she dragged a finger through his ice cream and stuffed it in her mouth.

"So get to know him, bond a bit and then see where you're at. It's just like if you were trying to get a girl to like you, you get to know them then you take them out and show them you're interested and let them decide if they reciprocate. Only difference is this particular 'girl' happens to have a d¡ck and is actually a dude. No big deal." She went to dig her finger in his ice cream again but he pushed it away with a disgusted look, his nose up turned and his brows furrowed in annoyance.

"If you're gonna thieve my ice cream at least use a finger you haven't already had in your mouth, I don't know how many d¡cks it's been on, I ain't getting mouth herpes from you." She smirked and used her middle finger this time to scrape up some of the cold cookie dough and vanilla flavored goodness.

"Riiight, you only want mouth herpes from Leo, got it" a pillow hit her in the face and she rolled around laughing at her younger brother and his rosy cheeks. "Seriously though, that kid is good for you Ry, maybe once you actually have a good orgasm you'll stop being so up tight, worked for my friend Marie"

"Shut up! I'm not up tight and we're just friends, go sext one of your 3 boy toys would you? I'm tired of you looking over my shoulder" she mock gasped, hand flying to her chest dramatically as she stood up and made her way to the door dramatically, Leo's theatrics from earlier having rubbed off on her.

"Fine! I shall depart! But brother dear, you have wounded my heart! I shall go, not because you said to, but because Joe is online in 10 and I need to trim the bush. See ya!" Ever the over-sharer she skipped off to her own room and he yelled down the hall for her to keep it down, he didn't need her moans seeping through the walls and grossing him out while he tried not to think about Leo and how cute he had been when he got scared earlier that day.

***

"Ryan, honey, your father and I would like to talk to you after dinner if that's okay?" His mother asked at the dinner table and of course Rosalie argued that she knew first so she should get to stay and Ryan immediately understood what this talk was going to be about. If anything went wrong he could always tell Leo, Leo would support him right?

With a deep sigh he dropped his kind and fork to the table "If this is about my recent realization about myself then can we just get it over with?"

"Listen son" it was his father's turn to get involved apparently, it all felt so haphazard and disjointed when Ryan was sure they'd planned some kind of formal intervention. "You know we're fine with which way you swing but your mom brought it to my attention that you need to be careful. I know what guys your age want but you've got to be more careful about it, we don't want our son getting AIDS and dying okay? I'll make this short and sweet kiddo, if you're gonna have sex with anyone be safe." Ryan couldn't think of a time he'd ever been more thankful for his father's bluntness, it made the whole process a whole lot less awkward, all he had to do was agree and it was end of conversation.

His father smiled and nodded, once Ryan had confirmed he'd be careful, then asked his wife to pass the salt to which she ranted about his health but was easily swayed by a simple 'I know darling" and gave in, the topic of Ryan's future sexual endeavors forgotten as they ate.

That night he was just going to bed when his phone flashed with a new notification _@Galaxyleo (Galileo) has requested to follow you._

Without much thought he accepted and immediately requested to follow him back and got accepted a minute or so later just as he'd stripped off his shirt and pants.

Suddenly he didn't feel so tired and instead started scanning through Leo's pictures, many of them were old and from family holidays to Italy to see his aunts and uncles and old family friends, some were shots of clear starry nights and every so often pictures of the sweet boy's face would grace his screen and Ryan's lips would rise at the corners, an easy smile slipping onto his face, Leo just had that effect on him.

After stalking his crush's Instagram for a while, Ryan finally decided to set his alarm for the next day and go to sleep, images of Leo playing like an old fashioned movie reel in his head.

_Ryan was the locker room just before practice, he was alone, or so he thought until he felt something come around his waist and looked down to see freckled arms 'Leo? What're you doing?' He asked feeling a soft kiss press to the back of his shoulder as he spoke. It felt so sweet, so soft, like the petal of a sweet pea brushing his skin._

_'I'm sure coach won't mind us being a bit late' Ryan started to turn and face the beautiful boy holding him and mumbled 'right' to himself as he cupped Leo's cheek, the pale skin so soft beneath his hand. He'd never particularly wanted to kiss someone before but he couldn't deny he wanted- no, needed to know what Leo's lips on his felt like, now. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Leo's, his other hand fell to Leo's lower back, supporting him and taking the opportunity to feel more of his skin under his t-shirt._

_He wanted more, more than to just feel his skin, he wanted to love it, to make sure every fiber of him knew he thought he was beautiful so he pulled away from his lips and tucked his head into Leo's neck. He kissed the warm, soft skin there, he licked over it and sucked at it lightly receiving a gentle call of his name from the other boy's lips. 'Ryan_ '

Ryan woke up with a start, and rubbed his face, it had all been a dream, the soft skin, the warmth of lips on his, it had all been made up, a figment of his imagination that was mocking him. "Sh¡t" he breathed and rested his head on his knees.

Well, a cold shower at 5am it was he supposed and threw off his sheets then padded to the shower to wash off the sweat and calm down a certain lower part of his body that was far too excited about something as simple as kissing.

***

Leo, on the other hand, was up for hours doing homework and staring out of his window aimlessly at the stars. It wasn't a good night, anything but really. He was tired but he couldn't sleep, that was when the homework had come out and he'd done most of it already, it wasn't his best work but it was more than passable and he was just trying to tire himself out without having to sneak out for a run.

His mind just wouldn't shut up and he wanted his papà, he'd always been a little more understanding of his sexuality, even if he wasn't as responsive as his mamma, and he wanted to talk to someone about his feelings without being interrupted. He didn't want to just let his parents think this was a phase and that eventually he'd settle down with a girl and just make babies. He liked kids, his youngest cousins on his dad's side were his favorite people pretty much, but he didn't want to be defined by his parents' want for grandchildren, he didn't want to put a girl through that either if he _did_ fall in love with a girl and get married to her some day.

It was useless, he wasn't going to sleep and he wasn't in the mood to run in the cold night air so instead he flopped back on his bed and stared at the ceiling until his eyes got too heavy for even his hyperactive brain to keep them from falling and shutting out the world for a few hours.

Next morning the clinking of mugs and his spoon on his bowl almost drowned out his mother's voice as she greeted him, "Good morning, how's my stellina today?" but Leo heard her and frowned, if he told her he'd have to explain but if he didn't then he'd probably never tell them.

"Not great... mamma? Do you just tolerate me because there's a chance I'll end up with a girl?" The clinking stopped, no one moved and his mom frowned.

"Why would you think that, Leo? Sure I'd like my baby to get a girlfriend and maybe give me and your papà some grandkids but I know you like boys too, I can't control that, you can't control that, but it's still nice to think about my little boy having a family of his own some day that I can spoil is all." The weight lifted off his shoulders and he let out a breath of relief.

"So you don't mind that I like guys?"

"Well it's not my place really is it? I can want you to like girls all I like but it won't change you or keep you from going after girls and boys alike. At the end of the day it's your choice Galileo and I will still love you no matter what, even if I can't see your point of view or don't think something you do is right or for the best I'll still love you, it'll take a lot more than my baby kissing a boy to make me just 'tolerate' you instead of love you with all my heart."

"Oh, so you kinda mind?"

"A little, it's still strange to me, I'm of a different time and different beliefs but that doesn't mean I love you or care for you any less, or that I'm not trying to learn to see things your way, that's what matters, even if my perspective is somewhat different to yours, okay? Don't ever think I don't love and support you anymore because I will always love and care about my stellina, my little miracle baby."

"Mammaaaa" he whined as his mother kissed his cheek and left a lipstick print.

"What? It's true! You know your papà and I were struggling, the doctors didn't think you'd survive but you did, such a little fighter! You're our little miracle!" Her smile was full of nothing but love and thankfulness for her only child as she wiped her lipstick off his face.

"Mamma, I don't want to hear about the troubles with my conception again it was gross enough the first 20 times!"

"I didn't tell you anything about your conception!"

"Did too, you said you tried to get pregnant at Disney land!" His mother blushed and waved him off as if it were nothing.

"Oh hush, eat your breakfast."

"Yeah kiddo, eat up, don't think too hard about what surface you may or may not have been conceived on" his dad looked at the kitchen island where Leo sat and watched as his son jump back in repulsion as his wife hit his chest.

"Stop scarring our kid! We never had sex on the island Leo, eat your breakfast."

"Uh no thanks, you saying 'sex' is enough to put me off it, I'm gonna head to school. Papà, keep it in your pants" his dad held up his hands in surrender but looked at his mom with a smirk that made Leo feel somewhat uncomfortable and a little queasy at the thought of what they did when he wasn't there. He'd stayed up often enough to hear what they did after a date night, it was bad enough hearing it, let alone knowing it happened outside their bedroom. _Gross_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update is a bit late, spotted a bit of a plot hole so I’ve been trying to figure it out! 
> 
> Enjoy these two awkward beans just trying their best :P 
> 
> <3


	7. Gotcha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so it’s been like a week and I forgot to update... Sorry! Hope this cute chapter makes up for it!

Seeing Leo after having woken up that morning to a wildly inappropriate dream about him was not something Ryan prepared for, he couldn't look the ginger boy in the eyes for Pete's sake!

All day he had the ghost of dream Leo following him about and making it exceedingly difficult not to become a blushing mess or show himself to be a completely chaotic gay in crisis!

In the weeks that followed more dreams haunted him with simple sweetnesses, a heart stopping smile as his head of curly hair dropped to Ryan's shoulder while he brushed his teeth in the mirror, the delicate stroke of a thumb along his scarred upper cheek and, his favorite (and the most distracting of all) the hollow yet so real feeling of Leo's lips pressing kisses to Ryan's heart shaped birth mark on his right hip just above his v line.

Ryan wasn't sure how much more he could take of the mental torture his dreams inflicted upon him, dangling before him the idea of being with the boy he was becoming increasingly close with.

He still tried to push away from Leo every so often with his odd mood swings on days where he really didn't feel good enough for Leo, he'd take it out on the innocent boy and turn into a d¡ck all over again and all it did was make him feel worse.

***

"Ryan? Do you want to talk about it again? I'm always here to talk if that is what you're frustrated with"

"I don't need another girly heart to heart! What I need is to stop feeling so fcking inadequate for the person I like, the only person I've ever _really_ been attracted to who I can't even fcking tell that I like them! What I need is to be anything but this mess!" Ryan yelled and immediately froze as he realized he'd took it out on Leo yet again and his legs wobbled a little, causing him to fall to the floor embarrassingly when one knee gave out.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You-you didn't deserve that, I'm just so frustrated and I can't stop thinking about him, I can't do anything without him just coming to mind and derailing my train of thought. I'm so, so sorry Leo, our private conversations aren't 'girly heart to hearts' that makes them sound so cliché when they're not, they're not regurgitated conversations from every poorly written movie ever. Our talks are great and I appreciate them so much you wouldn't believe it. I just-" Leo's eyes were soft and warm and welcoming and Ryan couldn't help feeling he didn't deserve that look from him but it still calmed him and made him feel better nonetheless.

"Calm down, this is exactly why I asked because I could see you were starting to get all angry and heated again. Want to take a break and just talk for a while? It looks like it might rain soon anyway" sure enough the light of day was dim and dreary, hiding the sun from sight behind large grey clouds and Ryan found himself nodding without noticing and let Leo gather up the equipment and drag him to his feet and towards the abandoned classrooms.

They got settled and sat in silence for a few moments until the rain suddenly started pouring from the heavens breaking up their silence completely. "So... do I get to know who's making you go hulk on me?" It was a loaded question, one that Ryan didn't want to answer but at the same time if he did then he'd finally get it out of the way and off his chest, it had been weeks, a month or two at least, of crushing and finding himself subtly flirting more than was safe if he wanted to keep his feelings hidden. And in the many weeks since figuring out his sexuality, his crush had continued to progress with all the danger of an oncoming train.

"I-I um... I don't know if you really want to know, it's kinda awkward" Leo, obviously oblivious, tilted his head to the side in adorable confusion.

"Don't tell me it's Jace or something, dude is straight as steel beam." At the upturn of Ryan's nose Leo understood he'd guessed wrong and laughed, both amused and secretly relieved. "Ok, ok so not one of the guys then, do I get a hint at least or would you just rather I didn't know?" That was the question indeed and it got Ryan more frustrated with himself for being so indecisive and he pushed himself off the rickety old desk where he'd perched and paced, looking far too serious for Leo's liking and he suddenly wished he'd let it go or never even asked. "You don't need to tell me anything, we can talk about something else-"

"You"

Leo always thought it would take a monumental explosion or some kind of fiery heat that scorched everyone before anyone could tell what was happening, like the people of Pompeii, for the world to stop spinning and seemingly come to a halt but it turned out it froze with just one little word, three letters, one syllable and his heartbeat felt as though it had been put on pause in his chest.

"Me?" He asked but it was more of a whisper to himself, trying to grasp the idea that Ryan liked him as said boy was pacing angrily, tugging at his hair, but that one question stopped him in his tracks and he felt utterly embarrassed, of course Leo didn't like him back, why would he? He'd been nothing but a d¡ck whose mood changed like the weather!

Without thinking Ryan took one last look at Leo with watery eyes, humiliated before he clumsily ran out of the shell of a building into the cold pouring rain.

Once he registered what had happened, Leo ran after him, he easily caught up with Ryan and called for him to stop, he'd been too stunned to respond before, heart in his throat and Ryan had left too soon for Leo to even get another word in.

"Ryan! Ryan, stop, please!" He didn't, he didn't slow down and he wouldn't give in even when Leo managed to grab his arm. "I like you too!" _That_ stopped him, maybe even froze him and he breathed heavily past his tears and the effort of running.

He didn't turn to face Leo, he didn't move at all and Leo could feel himself starting to shake from the cold rain drenching him, the feeling reminding him of the first time he'd seen Ryan be any kind of emotional and he almost wanted to smile fondly.

"I don't need you to pity me Leo, you put up with enough from me without pretending you like me back" the defeat in his voice cut through the ginger boy whose hair had become darker in the rain, almost dark Auburn looking and whose clothes were clinging uncomfortably to his figure but he was too focused on Ryan to feel self conscious.

There was no thinking it through, Leo just let himself open up completely, he hugged Ryan from behind and sighed, desperate to get him to understand that he liked him back, no pity present at all.

"I'm not pretending, I like you Ryan. Plea-please let's talk about thi-this, preferably somewhere warm-warmer" he couldn't focus when he was getting drenched in icy cold rain that pelted their skin.

"Let's get the equipment and get back to the lockers."

Once they were back under the shelter Ryan looked over Leo properly and saw him shaking like a leaf once again, and it tore into him. "You need to stop going out in the rain, Pumpkin"

"May-maybe you should st-stop only showing me what-what you feel when it rains then. Let's g-g-go before I die of hy-hypo- the cold! We're not done talking"

The minute they got into the warm Ryan tossed the equipment into its closet and locked it then helped Leo strip out of his cold wet clothes. "Go get in one of the showers and warm up, I've got a spare towel you can use if you don't have one, just go get warmed up and we'll talk" reluctantly Leo did as told, walking shakily in just his underwear towards the showers. A few minutes later he heard Ryan standing in the next cubicle and then the water coming on alongside his.

"So...you like me, I like you, what now?" Leo asked, hopeful that Ryan wouldn't want to just sweep it under the rug and pretend they didn't have feelings for each other despite his still present nerves about his parents accepting him liking a guy.

"Go on a date with me?"

"I'd love to. What do you want to do? Can I hug you again? Am I making it weird? I'm making it weird, I'm just really excited!" Leo wanted to jump for joy but on the wet tile floor he decided against it and instead grinned to himself while Ryan let out a somewhat relieved chuckle as the rest of the tension in his body started to drift away with the warm water.

"You really like me?"

"If I didn't like you I wouldn't have run after you in the freezing rain let alone agreed to a date. Please just promise me you won't blow up at me anymore? If you have a problem just tell me, I don't care how small it is or how silly you think it is, I want to know and I want to talk it out with you, hoarding your emotions until you blow up isn't healthy. That's my one condition, communication. Think that's reasonable?" Ryan nodded but realized Leo couldn't see him through the cubicle wall.

"Yeah I think I can do that, if you do the same, I know you don't blow up but I can tell when you're hiding something or trying to distract people from something so I want you to let me know what's wrong" Leo also nodded then realized their lack of view of one another again and verbally responded.

"Fair enough. I'm kinda starting to burn up now, how about you?"

"I'm good, if you wanna get out the towels are in the end stall, I'll be out in a sec"

"Alright, thanks. By the way, I felt your hands hovering longer on my butt earlier when you helped me get those shorts off, no butt touching until date 2 lover boy,then again probably shouldn't have let you take my clothes off until at least like date 5? Oops" he giggled and walked towards the end stall to grab a towel, completely oblivious to the heart palpitations his adorable giggles gave the other boy who leaned against the wall of the shower cubicle with a dorky smile that he'd hate for one of the guys to see, they'd tease him for months but with Leo he felt secure enough to let it slip even if Leo couldn't see him. It still felt good knowing he wasn't hiding himself and how he felt about the cute ginger he'd managed to get a date with.

After getting dry and dressed Ryan sat on one of the benches and Leo padded over, trying to towel dry his hair, and sat beside him. There was a comfortable silence between them, a mutual understanding and Ryan could feel the excitement radiating from the freckled boy beside him which in turn sent the butterflies in his stomach into a frenzy. "What do you want to do for our first date?" He hummed and hesitantly picked up Leo's hand to hold in his own, to feel he was there and this was happening and it wasn't just another dream taunting him.

"Well neither of us are out here so if we want to be cutesy and cuddly probably stay home and play board games or something, but if you want to go out we'd have to be more subtle about it and maybe just do something where it's dark like the movies so no one would see if say I started cuddling up to you because I'm very much a hugger or if we- y’know... wanted to hold hands?" Ryan hummed in agreement, it'd be so much easier if they were out but they could make do for now.

***

Saturday rolled around and Leo walked to Ryan's house not knowing what to expect but it certainly wasn't a blushy Ryan with a helix piercing he'd never noticed before that was for sure. "Hi..." his voice was low and shy as he looked at Ryan in his army green jacket and plain navy blue shirt with black skinny jeans.

"Hey, um, you ready to go?" Leo was just about to respond when Rosalie came up behind Ryan and slung an arm around his shoulder.

"Heeeey it's the funny ginger, don't let my brother get too handsy, make him wait until at least the 3rd date to touch butt got that freckles?" She smirked as Ryan blushed harder and ran a hand down his face.

"Gotcha, I doubt he has any want to touch my butt again anyway but thanks for the concern, you should probably worry more about your brother than me though"

"Again?! You planning on touching my brother's butt in retaliation then?"

"Never said that, you're the only one talking about butts here and Ryan looks like he might combust so I'm just gonna steal him before he decides I'm not worth the trouble. Toodles!" He took the other boy's hand from his face and lead him down the drive.

"You okay Ryan?"

"Yeah-yeah sorry about her, she likes to embarrass me. I promise you have no need to worry about me touching your butt" he huffed a laugh and Leo smiled and hip bumped the other boy lightly.

"Don't worry about it, what're we doing today?" He swiftly moved on and Ryan was thankful as he opened the door to the car he shared with his sister.

"I'm cliché so it's a surprise" he motioned for the ginger boy to get in and he did before Ryan went round to the driver's side and buckled up his seatbelt.

"You ready to go on a date, Pumpkin?" Ryan smirked as they drove along and Leo pouted with a blush.

"Don't call me that..." he mumbled bashfully as he took glances at Ryan's cheeky smile, something that was fairly new for him to see and still made his breath hitch and heart race.

Why did he have to be so attractive and cute all at once? "Um, since when have you had a helix piercing? I don't remember ever seeing it before" Ryan seemed happy to talk about it and took his eyes off the road for seconds at a time to smile at Leo.

"Oh, I usually take it out before practice, it's not the most comfortable in the helmet and when I'm not wearing the helmet at practice I'd rather not risk it getting bashed or tearing, I've already got a scratched cheek I don't need a ripped ear too you know? D'you like it?"

"Um, yeah, can I ask you something else though?" Ryan nodded for him to continue "did you and your sister both get helixes at the same time? I noticed she had one too" Ryan chuckled and shook his head looking down a little instead of having his eyes on the horizon.

"Uh yeah, unintentionally though. She went off to her first college, which she dropped out of like a week into the term, and got a helix then she came home and we looked at each other and I immediately said I wasn't going to take mine out and she just shrugged and said she wasn't either and walked off yelling 'guess we're twinzies bro!' Honestly she's so annoying sometimes but I love her" Leo cooed and pulled his legs up to sit cross legged on his seat.

"That's sweet, I can tell behind the banter you two really care about each other. She's sweet in a 'worried but not willing to show it' kind of way."

"Yeah, she's like that, always teasing me, but when it comes down to it she's always been there for me. Without her I'd probably still be completely in the closet apart from you, I wouldn't have told my parents and they'd probably give me the cold shoulder for keeping it from them when they eventually found out, they're really weird about keeping stuff from them. So yeah... what about you? Do you have any siblings?" Leo shook his head while picking at the fluff on his socks.

"I wish sometimes, but no, my ma likes to remind me that I'm her 'little miracle baby'. My parents are a little older than most for kids our age, this is probably a bit TMI but my mamma had some issues getting pregnant so she was over the freakin moon when I was born even though she did want a girl. I would like to have a sibling but I'm grateful for my mamma and papà and my relationship with them. My mamma is my best friend, bar Amanda, she's someone I don't think I could live without, she talks with me about anything and everything, she won't push anything but she makes me want to tell her everything. My mamma was the first person I told when I realized that my feelings on both guys and girls were both romantic just in different ways and very much not going away.

"She was a little surprised but we talked about it and she seemed fine and helped me tell my papà- oh! And that worry I had about her only being okay with it because there's a chance I'll end up with a girl still is resolved, she didn't mean to make me feel like that, she told me she loved me no matter who I end up with it's just very new to her. My family being Italian are pretty religious and kinda old fashioned sometimes so my nonna probably wouldn't approve and my mamma is more religious than my papà. She's made it clear that she doesn't necessarily completely know where to stand with my sexuality from a religious perspective but she believes that everyone should be loved and her reasoning when she was mumbling to herself when I first told her was 'if God loves a sinner like me who am I to not share love with my son no matter what? Show him this will _never_ take away a mother's love for her baby.' As much as I wish she did completely approve and support it, I'm insanely proud that she didn't give up on what she believes in but she also didn't hold my sexuality against me. She loves me despite the fact that I am sort of a grey area in what she personally believes and she tries so hard to be there for me and not make me feel like I'm any less than her. She told me when she came to terms with it that 'we're all equally full of sin' and that to cast me away or treat me as someone lesser wouldn't feel right knowing that she was just as bad in different ways. She finds every reason she can to love me when I know a lot of people would find every reason to hate me or throw me out so yeah, no siblings but a heck of a loving mamma who finds every reason she can to love me and I wouldn't trade her for the world." He smiled down at his socks then over at Ryan who was smiling softly in return.

"Your mom sounds like a good person, I'm glad you have her, I'm also pretty glad that she had you because who knows how I would've figured out my sexuality and how that would've gone down if it weren't for you."

"Still can't believe I'm the first guy you've had a crush on"

They chatted all the way to their date destination and Leo sat wide eyed as he stared at the laser tag place before him. "Ryan please tell me we're on the same team" Ryan smirked and got out of the car without answering.

They got inside and were immediately taken to a room with all the vests and guns and were put into groups with strangers, of course they were on opposite teams and Leo felt his stomach knot with nerves, what if he tripped over in the dark and embarrassed himself? What if they got too competitive and the rest of their date was awkward? He just didn't want this to go wrong.

"Alright, next group, you're up." The man in his mid twenties who looked like he'd rather be anywhere other than there opened the door to the dark room lit by black lights with neon colored chevrons on the floor or walls to show the paths they could take every so often.

The first group filed in, followed by Ryan's group then finally Galileo's group was ushered into the room to fend for themselves.

Almost immediately Leo got shot and his vest flashed as did the screen on his laser gun counting down until he was revived. "Really? The first 5 seconds?!" He grumbled to himself as he found a place to hide while he waited to be revived.

Although initially it seemed like he was going to fail, Leo found himself to be quite good at the game, he didn't usually like blending in and feeling like no one could see him, it was why he tried to come off quite outgoing and personable, so people couldn't overlook him, but his lack of presence, or aura if you will, in social situations coupled with his smaller frame made it easy for him to hide and shoot unsuspecting players. Pretty soon he felt somewhat accomplished, that was until someone pinned him to a wall in the corner where he'd settled himself.

"Gotcha" Ryan smirked in the low light but it didn't hold and his sharp smirk melted into a soft smile realizing their close proximity and how easy it would be to just kiss the boy but he didn't want to jump the gun (no pun intended) if Leo wasn't ready for it.

He must've been staring at Leo's lips for far too long because before he knew it Leo had taken things into his own hands and moved in to kiss the corner of his lips, testing the waters. Leo similarly didn't want to do something the other boy didn't want so he figured a kiss near the lips but not quite there would help Ryan to figure out if that was something he was 100% okay with, which as it turned out he _definitely_ was.

Ryan swore it was instinctive when he followed Leo's lips, he didn't want them to be chaste, he wanted them on his own so he could feel them properly, feel their warmth and softness.

Without thinking at all when Leo had pulled away with half lidded but nervous eyes, Ryan leaned in again, trapping Leo completely between himself and the wall.

He needed to kiss him, even if only to prove to himself once and for all that he truly only felt attraction to guys, but really he knew it was more than that, just the fact that he _wanted_ to kiss him was enough to tell him all he needed to know, he'd never been fond of kissing when he had girlfriends. No, he _needed_ to kiss him because he needed to be honest with Leo, needed to tell him how he felt but words weren't his thing, he'd rather tell him with his lips rather than the sounds that came out of them and, as much as he feared that want, it felt so good to have this moment.

Their lips moved like dance partners that knew each other's movements so well, there was no slobbery tongues, no biting, just simple kissing and somehow that was more exciting and satisfying for Ryan than the make outs he'd had with girlfriends, not because their kissing was bad but they just weren't Leo.

Just as they pulled apart, foreheads resting on each other, Ryan heard his gun go off and the lights on his vest and gun flash as Leo smiled cheekily with rosy lips and blushing cheeks.

"Gotcha."

***

When their game finished Ryan was blushing like mad and it was all Leo's fault, naturally. "Aww come on, don't ignore meeee" he whined when they were back in the car.

"Not only did you beat my score the first time you've ever played, you also got to be the cool one for our first kiss! I was supposed to be being cheesy and making you all blushy and cute and look what you've done to me!" He pouted knowing his cheeks were likely a pretty scarlet color just from Leo's giggle that followed his words.

"You did make me blush Ryan, it was just dark, besides, are we just not gonna talk about the fact we both just had our first kiss with another guy? Was it weird to you?" The response was instant

"No. It was the only kiss I think I've ever genuinely wanted to happen, what about you?" Galileo could hear the worry in the question and put a hand on Ryan's knee gently in reassurance.

"It was great, I didn't expect you to be such a gentle kisser if I'm honest, I kinda assumed you'd be a little aggressive but besides the whole pinning me to a wall part you were really soft. I loved it honestly, do wish I could've touched you though, I naturally wanted to put my hands on someone's waist or face when I kiss but otherwise it was amazing, don't look so worried." The sigh of relief was audible and Leo smiled and leaned over to kiss his date's cheek. "I liked it a lot, I like _you_ a lot Ryan"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> I love flustered Ryan, too cute! Also, this first kiss was inspired by a text-post I saw of basically the same scenario and I thought it was too cute not to use for these two <3


	8. Did I mention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo talks about his crazy ex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s A LOT of dialogue in this chapter but I hope you enjoy it!

After laser tag they'd decided to skip getting food together, feeling far too charged by their kiss to trust themselves in broad daylight not to get too touchy and instead had ended up in Ryan's room, the door strictly wedged open by his mother, with freshly delivered pizzas between them talking through the random movie they'd decided to put on but inevitably got bored of.

"I'll see you at school Monday then?"

"Yeah, definitely, you sure you don't want me to drive you home?" Leo rolled his eyes but smiled, grateful for the offer.

"I only live a couple streets down and it's still light out, I'll be fine. See you Monday Ryan" with that and a subtle squeeze of the other boy's bicep, fully aware that some of the guys lived on the same street and could see them if they looked out their windows, Leo walked down the drive and back to his house wishing he could skip off instead of walking but that would obviously be too suspicious.

On Monday Ryan woke up feeling excited for the first time since he was a young child all hyped up for his birthday or Christmas. He smiled a goofy smile into his pillows at just the thought of seeing Leo again, he knew getting close with him or talking about their date wasn't going to be possible but he still wanted to see him. He felt like a schoolgirl with a huge crush but he didn't care, Leo was the first boy he'd really liked and it'd be more weird not to feel this way he reasoned and sat up to turn off his alarm before Rosalie could trudge in and tell him to shut it off.

"Did you sleep well sunshine? You're very smiley today" his mom smiled and kissed his hair as she walked past to get to her husband who was cooking at the stove.

"He knows he's gonna see his _boyfriend_ today" Rosalie walked in with a yawn in one of his shirts, the first time she'd stolen one was because she didn't have anything clean but after she switched colleges she found comfort in his clothes. They were always close siblings and it wasn't unheard of that they'd steal one another's things when they were apart, almost like they were dealing with separation anxiety with the distance that had been put between them when she left for college that first time. It got to the point where they'd both have a section of clothes that they didn't mind the other taking or in Rosalie's case it was more blankets and stuffed toys she still had, they had a mutual understanding that they comforted each other in a way only siblings could and neither would deny the other of that comfort no matter how much they teased each other.

"He's not my boyfriend yet, don't get ahead of yourself Ro, I know you love him more than you love me but give us a chance to get there first" he chuckled and thanked his dad as he put a plate of pancakes in front of him.

"I swear you'd better ask that boy out again Ry"

"Y'think?" He replied sarcastically and stuffed some pancake into his mouth. "I'm working on it, I don't know what to do next, we can't really go out anywhere that the guys might see us because neither of us are out yet." He sighed and his dad huffed and turned to the rest of the family instead of the stove.

"Sure you can, be subtle for Pete's sake! Get food with your friends, have fun just don't kiss or anything. Just keep it in your pants and your hands to yourself and you'll be fine. If you really can't restrain yourselves you've got the advantage of being the same sex, just go in the toilet and do whatever- no unprotected sex though, do you even have any cond-"

"Dad!"

"Hey I want my kid to be safe, answer the question or abstain" Ryan groaned and blushed against his will as he mumbled his reply. "Ryan I need to know, speak up" Rosalie was snickering beside him and he scowled at her before replying.

"No, okay? I've never had any need for them so why would I have them?" For whatever reason the kitchen fell silent and his parents looked at him strangely while he raised a brow in confusion and looked to Ro for help but she just shrugged. "What?" He finally asked, but his parents just shook their heads as if shaking out of their thoughts.

"Nothing sunshine, we just assumed you'd already... look we know you're gay but we just assumed you'd been with your previous girlfriends or at least one of them" his mom replied quickly obviously trying not to upset him.

"When did you think this happened?" He laughed seeming more amused by their assumption than offended or whatever reaction his mom thought he might have.

"Honestly when you were like 14? And your father and I went away for our anniversary but came back early. We heard some noises coming from down the hall and went straight back out because we didn't know what else to do." Ryan laughed and looked over to Ro discreetly not wanting to explicitly tell their parents he wasn't the one having fun under the sheets that night but he remembered the night well for the simple fact that it was the first time he'd seen Ro look truly nervous since before she became a teenager, she'd asked him to stay in his room and wear headphones if he heard anything, he'd reassured her he would and that he'd sneak out if it got too much but he wasn't about to tell their parents that.

"Well it was around that time I started trying to work out and be healthier for football try outs, you probably heard me struggling to do a sit up" he chuckled and finished his pancakes with a quick glance at the kitchen clock. "I gotta get to school but I'll get some condoms if it makes you feel more comfortable, bye guys, love you."

"Wait up, I'll drive you, squirt"

Sat in the car on the way to school with his sister in basically her pajamas, Ryan looked over at her, studying her almost. "You alright Ro?" She cleared her throat and smiled over at him but it was weaker than usual.

"Thanks for um, not telling mom and dad... I know they know I'm not a virgin but I'd rather they didn't know when that happened, you know how I was the day after, they would've been mortified" he frowned and nodded feeling bad for her, she'd never told him what exactly happened that night but he knew it wasn't anything good that was for sure and he had wanted to bury her boyfriend six feet under when he saw her puffy eyes the next day, even as a scrappy 14 year old he was still ready to fight her nearly 6"ft boyfriend.

"'Course, I know I'm a d¡ck half the time but I'm not that bad" he joked trying to get a genuine smile out of her and sure enough her lips twitched up at the corners genuinely.

"Thanks Ry, just do me a favor and give Leo a better first than David gave me ok?" He nodded solidly, his countenance falling into something hard and unforgiving as his jaw ticked at the thought of her ex that he wanted to put 6 feet under for hurting his sister.

"I don't know if he's a virgin or not but if the time comes I won't turn into that pr¡ck" he grunted which seemed to be good enough for Rosalie who laughed and put out her fist for him to bump which he did with the usual eye roll.

"Bet you'll be his first time with a guy though"

"I'd hope so, it'd be a bit weird if I was the first guy he's kissed but not the first he'd had sex with don't you think?"

"You were his first kiss with a dude? I thought he knew he was bi waaaay before you knew you were gay, how come he hasn't kissed anyone before you?"

"His parents. He was worried they'd treat the guy bad because his mom is pretty religious but they're actually kinda chill with it"

***

Leo's parents had been more relaxed about his gushing than he'd expected but he just couldn't stop himself from getting excited and telling his mamma no matter what she may think. He must've gone off on who knows how many tangents during his catch up with her but despite him going off track so many times she listened and smiled and told him how happy she was that he was happy. She hugged him and kissed his head lovingly, not one hint of disgust in the way she acted around him in their usual routine, only a very slight almost unnoticeable uncertainty about things but she never told him she disagreed, he knew she was still figuring out how to react and she didn't push it on him, she just let it be her own problem not his and loved him, and as much as he wished the uncertainty wasn't there, however inconspicuous it was, he knew he was lucky to have a mother who cared as much about him as she did and lucky to have had such an amazing first date to gush about.

Eventually his mom even helped him plan a date to ask Ryan on which pleasantly surprised him and he had surged forward to hold her tight.

"Don't forget the letter!" She'd called as he rushed through the kitchen to get a breakfast bar having woken up late on Monday morning. He rushed past her again and plucked it from her hands giving her a thank you kiss on the cheek and calling goodbye to her with a smile as he ran out of the house to catch the bus.

The minute Leo walked into his first class Logan greeted him with a head nod and class started. It felt like forever before he saw Ryan but when he did they had to stop themselves from smiling at one another and making themselves obvious but they had to sit beside each other in the cafeteria because the only spaces left on the table were next to each other, they weren't about to complain but none of the guys needed to know how happy they were to be sat squished beside one another.

"Did you hear Kat talking about how she saw two guys making out at work? Seriously, it's a laser tag place, little kids go there" Jace rolled his eyes as he stuffed chips in his face.

"Being gay isn't exactly a PG 13 thing Ace" Beck laughed and subsequently got a hit from Jace who swallowed the mess of food in his mouth before replying.

"I don't give a sh¡t that it was two guys, my little sister goes to that place, I don't want her seeing people humping in a corner or something, she's 12!" He huffed and Leo tried his hardest not to blush or look at Ryan.

"Bro I've literally seen you pin Aimee to the slide at the park, you're just bent out of shape because it could affect your sister if it was any other kid you'd have no issue with it. Besides, Megan has a boyfriend, I seriously doubt two people kissing is going to scar her for life" Chris chuckled at his friend's expense and Jace huffed yet again. Ryan on the other hand was thankful the guys weren't upset about the gay couple they had yet to know was none other than their captain and their ginger sort-of-new kid and that they'd defended them unknowingly.

Leo seemed to feel the same thankfulness and relief because Ryan felt the stiffness beside him melt away and slowly felt Leo's hand carefully squeeze his under the table before letting go for fear of being caught but Ryan chased his hand and clasped back onto the freckled boy's paler palm, he was scared about being outed without being ready but Leo was comforting and he needed that. Logic being thrown out of the window, Leo's touch made him feel stable despite it being the one thing in that moment that could potentially reveal them both.

Leo gave him a look as if to ask what he was doing only to receive a mostly normal look in return but his eyes held concern and a need for comfort so Leo finally caved and squeezed Ryan's hand once again to let him know he wouldn't let go and Ryan's stiffer than usual frame slacked to his normal shut off rigidity as if he weren't practically imploding at the intimacy he'd never felt so sensitive to before.

Ryan couldn't hide his unusually happy demeanour for long and the rest of the guys caught on to it half way through lunch so of course they had to question it. "Dude why are you so happy? You're like always scowling but you're kinda blushing? It's weird." The whole table seemed confused and focused in on Ryan.

"I am _not_ blushing okay? I just woke up in a good mood" he shrugged and tried to appear nonchalant but inside he was panicking and Leo could see it.

"You've never been a morning person, we've been friends since kindergarten I know you bro, what's made mr emo smile huh?" Jace teased but seemed genuinely curious and it was hard for Ryan to not just blurt it out. He had been friends with Jace the longest, he wasn't one to be shaken off easily and had stuck around for years and that meant Ryan was so used to just chatting about stuff openly with him that to hold back or lie felt unnatural.

"Ok so maybe I had a good weekend" Leo squeezed his hand but Ryan wasn't sure if it was support for possibly coming out then and there or a sign to shut up. "Found out Leo lives like 2 streets down so we met up and I guess I just really needed someone to get me to venture out of my house at the weekend for once. All I ever do is go to school, do football, do homework, play video games, sleep and repeat but Leo genuinely would not let me stay inside, guy's got a lot of energy" he chuckled and Leo rolled his eyes as he shoved Ryan with his shoulder jokingly.

"For someone who loves sports so much you're surprisingly reluctant to go out" he played along happily, if it helped Ryan he could act the part when needed.

"Weekends are my lazy days, sue me! Nah, but seriously it was good to socialize and get to know you a little, we've all known each other or at least known of each other for most of our lives so it feels a little more natural to see you as a full part of the team now" their excuse was sounding pretty solid but Jace was still in a teasing mood about it all.

"You must be pretty interesting if Ryan is this hyped over one hang out"

"Obviously, I'm riveting, you want embarrassing stories and a bunch of random facts then I'm your guy. I may or may not have over shared so he's probably in a good mood because he knows I'm the most embarrassing person on the team and he's waiting to lord it over me" he joked and looked at Ryan in mock suspicion only to receive a laugh and a shake of the head for his good natured joking that, as usual, won people's good favor.

"Ah, so that's why, I told him about my first time with Aimee and he was in such a good mood then in the next few days all I found in my locker were stick figure drawings that acted out what I'd told him. Annoying fcker. Good luck Leo, may he have mercy"

Ryan laughed harder remembering how embarrassed his friend had been at the crude drawings that kept showing up in his locker and how often he saw him desperately try to hide them from Aimee when she was with him at his locker.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, at least I'm not a virgin, mister 'too busy' for a girlfriend" he made finger air quotes around 'too busy' and Leo wanted to laugh knowing the real reason but settled for stroking his thumb over Ryan's just in case the virgin comment got to him.

"Whatever bro, if I wanted to have sex with a girl I'm pretty certain there's at least 5 in the general vicinity I could ask who'd probably say yes being as they’ve asked me before. I don't want to- ergo I'm not missing out on anything"

"Well you kinda are you're just weird, I don't get you, you have like no sex drive, are you 17 or 70?!" Theo piped up and Leo practically felt Ryan bristle at the comment and subtly brought his other hand over to his wrist drawing random shapes over it, giving him something else to focus on in the hope that he didn't respond too bluntly.

He watched as Ryan took in a deep breath and shrugged yet again. "I just don't get turned on as easily as you do, you see a girl with a low cut shirt and practically cum in your pants. I have a sex drive it just isn't off the charts like yours bro" Leo wanted to test that statement but quickly shook that thought from his head, now was not the time to be thinking like that.

"Suit yourself bro" Theo held his hands up in surrender and the bell rang cutting off their conversation and they separated, all but Ryan and Leo.

Without a word Ryan pulled Leo to the nearest toilet and checked all the stalls before locking the main door then crumbled against it. "This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought" he grumbled and practically melted under Leo's soothing touch on his shoulder.

"We can tell them whenever, just stay calm okay? We're the ones with the upper hand here, we know what we're doing, we know each other's sexuality, we know when to steer the topic away, we can hide this as long as you like yeah? Honestly Ryan, it's going to be fine, if anything we can have some fun with it and let the others get confused. Don't let this get to you, please, I'm right here for you, you don't have to get so stressed" he took a chance and pulled Ryan away from the door to open his arms and offer a hug. Ryan blushed but walked into Leo's open arms and enjoyed the comfort and safety.

"Thanks" he sighed and hugged Leo back feeling stupid for getting so affected but thankful for Leo and how calm he was about it. "Sorry, I'm keeping you back from lesson" Leo chuckled lightly at that.

"I'm a nerd, missing a bit of lesson won't affect me, Linton is a bit ahead of you guys in most lessons, I've got at least a month still on you guys in Math so I wouldn't worry, take whatever time you need to calm down, I know you're frustrated, your eyebrows draw together and you look all angry, I don't like it." With words not being his thing Ryan nodded and timidly kissed Leo's shoulder feeling him freeze in his arms then relax and mirror his gesture with a sigh. "I'm not used to that yet, it's only been a couple days, I could definitely get used to this though, maybe under better circumstances and not in a stinking toilet" Leo joked trying to lighten Ryan's deflated mood.

"Do you want to come over to mine tonight and get a little more used to it?" Ryan flirted despite still being almost cradled carefully by Leo who giggled softly.

"Maybe tomorrow, I've got a second date to sort out first, it's _my_ turn to take _you_ out, that reminds me actually, can you reach the side pocket of my backpack?" Ryan tried to then nodded as he fumbled to get the paper out of the pocket. "I wasn't sure if we'd be alone at all today so my mamma helped me write a letter to tell you what I'm planning"

"You don't have to plan it, I'm happy to do that"

"I wanna treat you too, I like the idea of making a day good enough for you, I like the challenge of finding something I know I like but I think you'd like too or at least I feel like I could get you to see the fun in. Makes me think about what I know about you and what I want to know next. I want to. You deserve to be treated just as well as you've treated me so far and no doubt will in the future. Just open it when you get a chance, now as much as I love this I think we should get you to lesson, can't have our Captain slacking."

The rest of their day went without another hitch but Ryan could still feel Leo's feathery kiss on his shoulder and tried not to think about it because every time he did he got distracted and had to bring himself back to reality.

The action had been so sweet and tender and emotionally it overwhelmed him but he tried hard not to let that show or dwell on it during practice. "You're going to be the death of me" He whispered as the rest of the team went back to the lockers and they stayed back for Leo's extra training.

"Huh? What did I do?" Ryan blushed crimson, he didn't expect Leo to hear him and he didn't particularly want to explain but he had to now that he'd fallen into the deep end.

"You-Uh you kissed my shoulder earlier and I just keep getting distracted by it. I know it's weird but I couldn't focus the rest of Saturday either after we kissed, I'm not used to wanting that kind of thing so I guess it's kinda messing with my head" he explained and looked to his feet feeling utterly embarrassed only to look up when he heard a tiny squeak.

"Aww! You're so cute! I'd kiss you now if there weren't the chance people are watching"

"Yeah we probably shouldn't talk too loud either, that's how Ro found out." Leo's eyes widened for a moment in realization and he facepalmed.

"I completely forgot to tell Amanda we went on a date, she's going to kill me!"

"I'm sure she'll be fine with it" Ryan shrugged and tossed Leo a ball.

"No no no, you don't know Amanda, that girl may look like she doesn't give a frick but she wants to know _everything_. She thought me and one of my Exs had sex and demanded details and when I told her we didn't she was sure I was lying and wouldn't let it go. She still thinks the sex was just embarrassing and that's why I wouldn't tell her or something"

"Why does she care so much?"

"She's just always had this kind of lie detector 6th sense and she likes to know things, it's freakin creepy sometimes how easily she can tell if someone's lying."

"Wait, so _did_ you have sex with your ex then or was she wrong for once?" Leo blushed and tossed the ball back.

"We didn't have sex, she was sick and I went to bring her some soup my mamma made to make her feel better but when I got there she didn't seem ill at all, the guy she was screwing kinda gave that away. I left before they noticed me and she broke up with me a few days later with the whole 'it's not you it's me' thing by which time I really couldn't care less. I never told Amanda what happened but she asked if we had sex and if that was why I was acting weird and I guess she saw something in my face at the mention of sex and assumed." The angry frown on Ryan's face made Leo's heart swell knowing he cared and his frustration at his ex melted away fast.

"Why didn't you just call her out on it when you saw them? Make her feel the guilt she should" he was angrier than anticipated and in a strange way it was endearing.

"More awkwardness. I was gonna break up with her when I next saw her but she did it before me so I just accepted it and moved on. We only went out for like a month, it never got that serious but I'd like to have had at least one not so bad break up but hey life gives you lemons right? Well actually we cross bred fruits to get lemons but that's besides the point, point is I didn't really care that much. Was I happy that my girlfriend pretended to be ill to have sex with another guy? No. Was I particularly unhappy that she actually got pregnant and tried to blame me 3 months later when she started to show? Heck yeah! But I'm not one to dwell on things I can live quite happily without so yeah..." the ball had stopped in Ryan's hands, their throwing exercises completely halted as Ryan got so utterly distracted that he simply came closer to Leo and called for a break while they talked, too enthralled to continue.

"So this girl cheated on you, broke up with you believing you didn't know she'd cheated and didn't mention it, then 3 months later starts telling her parents you're her baby daddy!? Leo? What the fck!?" Leo chuckled and leaned back on his hands, thankful that the grass was warm and dry after the storm of the previous weeks had passed.

"Yeah, it's like a tv drama, I know. It got worse before it got better, she assumed because I'm a nerd I'd just cave in and take it or something? I don't get her logic but anyway, her parents thought that I knocked up their 'sweet, innocent' daughter, her parents then told my parents who believed them because at the time I was going through a phase of not really telling my mamma everything like I do now, I stopped for a while but after this I fell back into telling her probably more than any mother really wants to know.

"Anyway, no one believed me but luckily she didn't tell anyone at school because she didn't want to embarrass herself. Knocked up by the nerd, what a tragedy, so I was safe socially, well as much as I usually was. It got to the point that her parents were demanding that little 14 year old me had to pay child support and I drew the line pretty clearly right there, she could blame me all she liked but I knew I wasn't about to get cheated on and have to financially support a kid that I had no responsibility for. I definitely wasn't going to let her get off with making me pay for something I had no part in."

Leo huffed and picked at some grass, memories of being repeatedly accused filling his head as he continued his story. “What goes around comes around and karma is a real b¡tch, I told the parents for the thousandth time that it wasn't my child to the point that I blew up at them, you know my filter sucks so I basically made a bet, I said that if the child was born and looked anything like me I'd pay child support and if it looked nothing like me in any respect then _they_ had to pay _me_ for emotional stress and the false accusations, and the child support fees they had calculated for the first year of this kid's life that they tried to convince me to pay them. Oh and their daughter had to make a public apology to me in front of everyone she did tell that I was presumably the father to which her parents agreed despite her trying to argue that we shouldn't really be making deals or betting on the baby. So 6 more months pass and they tell me she's in labour and that I have to come to the hospital so I come to the hospital like 2 hours late because I had stuff to do and this drama wasn't going to change that. I'm in the waiting room, her dad is giving me a stare to put me 6 feet under and I just sit there on my phone while my parents are sitting next to me looking almost as pale as I am usually, in fear for my future.

"So we wait hours and her mom calls her dad in to tell him the baby's coming and he drags me in there by my shirt looking like he's about to rain hellfire on my @ss and I have to witness the horror that is child birth because he still thinks I got her pregnant and makes me watch telling me that I should think about what I'm doing if I think it's gross because I kept trying to look away, I didn't want to see her like that, I wanted her to know not to screw people over I didn't want to violate her privacy though, but this man just didn't get it. Finally the kid is out and I want to bleach my eyeballs, I'm sure it's a different experience when it's your own kid but I was scarred, Yeesh women go through a lot, never been so grateful for my mamma.

"Anyway, so they clean the baby up and put him on her chest and the girl's dad looks at me then at the kid and goes white as a freaking sheet. Did I mention she was white as a sheet and the dude she cheated on me with was black? So you can imagine his horror when he realized he'd put me through hell and back, made me watch his daughter give birth to a kid that wasn't mine and had to pay me the equivalent of what he had asked of me for the first year of child support and the emotional stress as well as actually support his daughter's child. Yeah he looked about ready to faint and throw up all at once." Ryan struggled to hold back his amusement but finally cracked and started laughing so hard he had to lean his head on Leo's shoulder to stabilize himself.

"How'd your parents react?"

"Oh they were mad. They came in to check once they were told the baby was born and my mamma went full on lioness protecting her cub mode, she wanted to scratch my ex's eyes out for all the trouble she'd caused and she wouldn't stop apologizing for not believing me in the first place. My papà demanded that the real father of the child be found and held accountable and that the family were to either make good on their end of the deal regarding the bet or if they were unable to afford it all at once (which they unsurprisingly weren't) then they all had to at least apologize to me for what they'd done and for every treat or present they bought for their new son/ grandson they had to give me the monetary equivalent until he tuned one. It may sound kinda harsh but they really did put me through the wringer, my grades dropped because I was so stressed out, I was forced to go to ultrasounds so sometimes I missed class for them, my own parents didn't believe me so there was pressure from all sides to own up and take responsibility for something I didn't do, she wouldn't tell them she was lying and I had no way of getting out of it until the child was born." It had been a trial and half to try and keep his grades up with all the pressure, the emotional weight and being physically dragged out of school for things he had no obligation to go to in the first place.

"For 6 months of my life they put me through emotional hell, I lost half a year of my life because of her to just stress and that kid wasn't going to remember the first year of its life so it wasn't like it took anything away from them, the guy she cheated with payed for his kid's stuff, he’s a really nice guy, didn’t even know she had a boyfriend so I don’t have anything against the dude. What was I saying? Oh right! So her and her parents payed me the equal in compensation and the kid got what he needed and I got something at least to compensate even a little for the nightmare they put me through, and it definitely taught her parents not to take their daughter's words as golden and to follow up and get their facts straight.

"They wouldn't even let me take a paternity test they were so adamant and it still annoys me that they stole that time from me just because they bought into her lies while the other guy just breezed through those months, I don't even know if she told him that he got her pregnant before she actually birthed the kid!

"My mamma felt really bad about it too, she had wanted me to marry my ex to 'do right by her' so she felt extra guilty for that pressure and kept making me my favorite foods and hugging me, kissing all over my face and protecting me from literally everyone I came into contact with apart from Amanda. She's still very cautious and my most recent ex being a little crazy and wanting the last word didn't help with that but I have a feeling she actually won't be so worried about who I want to be my next partner, he seems pretty normal and lovely to me, maybe my taste in guys is better than my taste in girls who knows?" He whispered the last part, cautious of anyone listening and Ryan smiled with an almost dreamy sigh.

"Well you don't have to worry about getting them pregnant or crazy parents, don't know about normal and lovely though, they might be a little strange" he spoke in the third person about himself also aware that someone could hear them.

"Oh? How?"

"Hmm they might have problems, they might need help, they might be finding out that they're a much more touchy person than they thought, they also might maybe sort of love being taken care of but also taking the reins as well, who knows? They could also have an unhealthy obsession with calling you pumpkin because it started off as an insult but it's actually really adorable" Leo blushed and shoved the dark haired boy softly muttering 'don't call me that' simply because he felt his cheeks heat and his head go a little fuzzy at the nickname.

"I still feel like mamma is really going to like my next romance, possibly more than she's willing to admit. I'm just getting that feeling..."


	9. A NecessNeri Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan meets Leo’s parents

There was just a minor problem, a little tiny hiccup that Ryan had come to realize with the more time he spent with Leo: Leo was interesting and he in comparison was like watching paint dry. Upon realizing this he slinked into his sister's room and flopped face first on her bed "why am I so boring?" He huffed into her navy blue pillow, his words muffled yet somehow understandable to Rosalie who merely laughed at his expense.

"Why does it matter?" It wasn't often he actually came to her room for advice, usually he'd catch her in the kitchen eating dry cereal out of the box.

"Because Leo is so interesting and I feel like I have nothing good to offer to tell him" while he hid his face she let herself smile knowing he wouldn't see it, she liked this side of her brother, his mushy insecure side that showed her he wasn't as stoic as she'd always known him to be. He was so soft on the inside, like a jawbreaker with gum in the middle, he had layers of protection from the outside world but Leo had chipped away at it and it was sweet to see her little brother flustered and worried about a guy.

"This is what happens when you shut everything out my dear little emo, I'm sure you're interesting somewhere in there but you've got to do more than just school and football if you really want to have things to talk about, get another hobby or something bro, just find something you like and talk about it with him. Not everyone is interesting in their own experiences some people are interesting through what they're interested in. You remember Mr Lowe? The guy never left this place until a couple years ago and hardly did anything but he was so interested in battles and wars that you'd think he'd lived through all of them the way he talked about them. Just find something you like and talk about it or dig deep and ask mom and dad about you as a kid I'm sure they'll give you some good stories. Besides, you have that scar on your face, I'm sure he's curious about that, everyone's curious about that, I don't think I've met one person who didn't ask what you did to your face at some point" he groaned and rolled over on her sheets, crumpling them.

"It's such a boring story though!"

"To you, not everyone does the weird crap you did as a kid, just talk to him. And get off my bed, I actually made it for once!"

"Fiiiiine, oh and I've got a date tonight so if you go into my room to annoy me and I'm not there just don't mess anything up okay? You can mess up my bed because I've messed up yours but that's it" she smirked and jumped on the bed beside him, almost landing on his hand but he moved it just in time knowing she'd do that on purpose.

"Ooo, what're you and mr. gingernut doing tonight hmm?" He predicted the teasing tone but not the genuine curiosity written across her face and stuttered embarrassingly.

"Well I-uh-I don't really know? He just wrote this so that's all I really know. I'm nervous to meet his parents but I think it should go okay..." he reached into his back pocket then handed her the slightly crumpled letter and she skimmed over it with a goofy smile

"Why are all the nice ones gay? I know he's bi but he still likes guys so he's like half gay, don't argue let's just say for argument's sake that he's half gay. Why? My exes were never this cute, look at this, he made the points of the corners into hearts!" Laughter escaped Ryan's lips as he took back the painfully cute letter

"I'm gay and I'm not sweet so that's one huge sweeping statement Ro, also your exes were all d¡cks and Leo is just that cute with everyone, his mom leaves him notes in his lunch still sometimes and he'll sit there and write one back on the reverse of the note to give to her later. He's just sweet" he shrugged but in his head he was picturing Leo, his soft smile that showed off his braces and his freckles that littered his face like paint splatters that made up part of a much bigger and more beautiful painting. It was no wonder he'd developed a crush on the boy really.

"You got a good one Ry, I'm proud of you, you've got better taste in men than I do"

"I haven't exactly 'got' him, we're not officially anything yet, he could still go out with anyone else technically and it would be none of my business-"

"Dude. He's a good kid, he won't pursue someone else when he's asked you on a date and been on one with you already. Now tell me you're going to wear something nicer than this" she looked him up and down and dragged him back to his room to find him something better to wear than his usual T-shirt and faded, ripped, black jeans.

He showed up on Leo's doorstep with flowers his mom helped him cut from their garden without ruining any of his father's plants. Nervous was one word for how he felt, terrified was another but it was too late now, he'd already knocked on the door and heard footsteps stomping quickly down the stairs and Leo's muffled voice yelling 'I got it' before he appeared in front of the door.

Leo stood there in blue jeans, a white T-shirt with sunflowers on it and an unbuttoned green shirt on top, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he looked casual yet smart at the same time and Ryan felt overdressed even in just his newest black skinny jeans and a white dress shirt with the top button undone and sleeves he had also rolled up to his elbows like Leo.

"You look...wow..." He stood speechless like an idiot, blushing a deep pink as Leo held back his amusement.

"You don't look bad yourself" Ryan looked down at himself and blushed harder.

"Sorry, I know it's kinda over the top, Ro wouldn't let me leave the house in a T-shirt and the only shirt shirts I have are either white or plaid and she said she wouldn't let me look like a lumberjack" he laughed rubbing the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't holding the bunch of flowers. "Oh and my mom helped me pick some flowers for your mom because I felt bad coming empty handed."

Leo was freaking out on the inside over how cute the flustered boy before him was, he'd never seen Ryan so nervous and couldn't help but want to just hug him but he didn't want to crush the flowers so instead he leaned up on his toes and kissed his cheek.

"You'll be fine, loosen up a little, come on, come meet my mamma and papà before they jump out from behind the wall themselves. Mamma! Papà! You can stop hiding now, he's not gonna bite you know. He brought you flowers mamma, are you really still gonna act suspicious?" His parents walked out from behind the wall that separated the hallway and the living room with cautious looks sent Ryan's way which did not help his anxiety about the situation at all, in fact he kinda just wanted to curl up in a ball, he really wanted them to be okay with him. He wanted Leo's parents' approval because he really truly liked Leo.

"Of course we're gonna be cautious Leo, we're not having another Katie situation." His mother reasoned and Leo had to resist the urge to facepalm.

"Mamma, Ryan is a _boy_ and has been since birth so...never had any ovaries, no womb and definitely no babies. It'd be pretty impressive if he was another Katie situation."

So Katie was the ex who framed him? Good to put a name to one of his not so good exes for once, Ryan thought.

"I know, I know! I'm just worried about my baby, I don't know anything about this boy but what you've told me and I'm certain you're sugar coating it all just because you like him"

"Mamma!"

'He _likes_ me? His mom knows he likes me so he must have told her he likes me right?' Ryan's mind practically lit up at the thought and he fought off a goofy smile.

"Mamma the whole point of the guy I'm dating coming over for dinner is so that you get to know him and he gets to know you and I get to go out on more dates with him without you guys interrogating me about who he is and his 'motives' remember? We talked about it?" His parents nodded like children being scolded and introduced themselves finally.

"Sorry Ryan, I'm Isabella and this is my husband Rico, we're just concerned, our Leo doesn't have the best past with girlfriends and we were even more uncertain about him having a boy over romantically. Can we start over?" Ryan nodded shyly and extended the flowers towards her.

"Hi, mr and mrs Neri, I um, I brought some flowers because turning up empty handed felt wrong, and for the record I completely understand why you'd want to protect your son, I'm always annoying my sister because whenever she gets a date I go into like hyper protective mode or something. I hope I can prove to you guys that I don't have any bad intentions, I just really like your son." Isabella took the flowers with a thankful smile and Rico led everyone through to the living room.

"So you've got a sister? Any other siblings?" Rico asked casually in a way that reminded Ryan of his own father.

"Nope, it's just me and my sister, my parents decided the two of us were more than enough for them, we were both kind of weird kids and we probably gave them enough headaches to put them off having any more children" It was true, they were both somewhat strange but they were also hyperactive and constantly causing trouble together.

"I assume you're the oldest then? The head troublemaker of the family?"

"No not at all, my sister is in her first year of college, she's definitely the mastermind to our childhood antics, I'm not really all that much of a people person but she's very extroverted so if she did something she'd want someone to do it with and she was very much go big or go home but I just kept what I wanted to do very low key. If I was the worst of us both it wasn't on purpose, I don't know what's worse, a kid that keeps things to themselves or one who makes everything an event? I'm sure my mom could talk for hours about the things we put her through without realizing what we were doing." He gave them a sheepish smile and Leo rested his head on Ryan's shoulder trying to reassure him that he could relax a little through the casual action.

"Well Galileo wasn't exactly the easiest child to raise all the time either- don't pout at me stellina, I have the pictures to prove it, but we'll save those for after dinner, it should be done by now. We'll leave you boys alone for a few minutes while your father and I serve up dinner, no going up to your room, tesoro." With that his parents went to the kitchen and busied themselves and Ryan finally lost a little of the tension in his frame but was still too stiff for Leo's liking.

"Ryan, you need to calm down, everything is going fine, you're not going to mess up okay? Do you need a hug? Would that help? It seemed to help last time you got stressed at school." Without a word Ryan opened his arms and guided Leo to climb into his lap, the other boy soon putting his arms around him, holding Ryan's head to his shoulder, his hand in his hair cautiously, not wanting to over step a boundary. "Usually I don't sit on people I'm hugging but I'll make an exception" he joked and mindlessly ran his fingers over Ryan's overgrown undercut.

"Sorry, I promise I'm not like this all the time, I just get stressed and then that makes me anxious and I sometimes just get like this, usually I just freeze up to deal with it, sorry" an apology was the last thing Leo expected and he brushed it off quickly in favor of comforting Ryan.

"Don't worry about it, if you need to calm down at any point during dinner just tell me, squeeze my hand or something okay? I'd rather we have to leave the table for a bit and you feel calm than you sit through dinner like you're sat on a chair made of nails, I'll explain to my parents if you're worried about how they might react, your comfort is my main priority. Promise me you'll tell me somehow if you need to take a break from it?" Ryan nodded into his shoulder and squeezed him tighter for a second, his focus on Leo's breathing and his hand in his hair, the movements of his chest pressing and pulling away from his own as he breathed let him focus on something and the hand in his hair comforted him as Leo was almost cradling his head like he thought he was not necessarily delicate but important and breakable.

"Thank you"

Dinner went smoothly for the most part, Ryan kept on complimenting Isabella and Rico's cooking and conversation was flowing nicely until the topic of his intentions came back around again and his stomach tied itself in knots. Without thinking he reached for Leo's hand, not to squeeze it and get out of the conversation but for the physical grounding support it made him feel.

"Well I-um I didn't really plan this, Leo is the only person I've ever really liked like this...I didn't even know Leo liked guys when I first started to like him so I was scared he'd hate me so I didn't really plan ahead for where this would go if he did have an interest in me back. Of course I'd like for him to be my boyfriend at some point but I-um I completely understand if he doesn't want to, but that is the hope, I wouldn't have asked him on a date if I didn't intend to see if we could work and if that was something he wants too." For that Leo stroked his thumb over Ryan's to tell him he was doing well just in case he didn't catch the silly smile and blush he was sporting.

"What do you mean he's the only person you've liked like this? Did you not actually like your previous boyfriends?" Rico quizzed calmly but something about his facial expression was intimidating and Ryan felt himself freeze up but was determined not to make a fool of himself.

"No sir, I-I hadn't come to terms with my sexuality before I met your son, I've only ever had girlfriends before but I never really felt like they were what I really wanted. I liked them, they were nice girls who I am sorry to have lead on because I didn't realize or didn't _want to_ recognize that my preference isn't that way inclined. Leo is actually the reason I forced myself to address it, were it not for the fact that I have the most embarrassingly large crush on your son I'd most likely still be in denial. He's- he's the only person I've ever had a real crush on period, I've never experienced this kind of feeling for someone before, that's-um- that's what I meant sir." Leo could feel how tense the boy next to him had become so he squeezed his hand softly to get his attention and gave him a look that asked if he was ok and the look he received in return was somewhat weary but he nodded subtly anyway.

"Enough about Ryan for now. Mamma, tell him something, you're supposed to get to know each other not just interrogate my date" he joked trying to lighten the mood which seemed to work as his mom took her chance to embarrass him but it was better than Ryan's hand getting colder and more clammy in his the longer they interrogated him.

After dinner they all migrated to the living room and sat down with mugs of either coffee or hot coco and Isabella continued her storytelling from the table, completely swept away in talking about her only child which made Ryan smile thinking of how much Leo was clearly adored.

"So we got to the beach and Leo must have been about 1 and a half at the time, anyway, we get there, I put him in his swimming trunks and immediately he started crying and we had no idea why, we checked his diaper but it was fine, we fanned him in case he was just too hot but he just wouldn't stop. He cries for 5 minuets straight and I pick him up to see if he had stood on something and as I pick him up a crab comes with him! It must have been buried under the sand and he'd stepped on it and it latched on to him, we managed to get it to let go and Rico put it in the water where it belonged but Leo refused to stand on his own anymore, he just wouldn't. I went to put him down and he just lifted his feet up away from the ground and screamed. He was definitely not a happy baby that day, that's for sure!" His mom laughed lightly and asked her husband to pass her the photo album full of his baby photos.

"Hey, hey, hey, before we start delving into that can you check there's no naked pictures in there? I'd rather he didn't see me naked until at least like the 10th date" Ryan chuckled and, without thinking, kissed Leo's temple and made him blush the same red as the Mickey Mouse swim trunks he had worn as a toddler.

"Oh hush, there's no indecent ones in here, your papà and I decided they were a bit creepy to have so we shredded them ages ago, well most of them, your bath pictures are still in here but the ones of you running around the house and garden in your birthday suit, that we took to show Nonna how silly you were, are all gone."

"Ugh why do people take photos of their kids like that, of course I was gonna run around naked I was 2!"

"It was cute! Your Nonna said you reminded her of me when I was that age. I remember used to come and hug me when you'd tired yourself out and pout when I wouldn't lift you up because you'd ran away when I was getting you dressed. Oh! And you would only go in water if you were nude, I think the beach scarred you or something because whenever I put your trunks on to go in the paddling pool in the summer you wouldn't go in and you'd start crying again..."

The evening was full of embarrassment but Ryan seemed to be more at ease and even cuddled up to Leo more and kissed his head randomly from time to time. It was the last picture in the album that really had both boys smiling that made it all worth the embarrassment.

A little Leo, maybe 3 or 4 years old, was sat on a swing, his hair the longest it had ever been curling up in warm light orange tones around his face, he had the biggest smile on his face as he reached out for something, not looking at the camera but somewhere off in the distance. It was adorable in a word. The sun was low in the sky casting orange, almost peachy, light on him and his father, making his ginger hair look a more rich color than usual, the sky was just fading into a darker blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight; it looked like the perfect picture.

"He used to love the swing set we had, I used to push him higher than you probably should a 3 year old but he loved it. We'd pretend that he was going so high he went to space and he'd always reach out and pretend he caught a star to bring back to me." For the first time that evening his father explained the photo before his wife had a chance, it clearly meant a lot to him. "He was a bit slow with talking, he found it difficult to catch on to, he could lip read really well but talking was a little harder for him for some reason so he didn't talk much but every time without fail whenever we did that he'd tell me 'I got you star, I love you papà' that was the first time he'd ever explicitly told me he loved me. He loved the time he spent in that swing more than he loved anything else and it was good to know it made him that happy that he'd bring me back a star and tell me he loved me no matter how difficult it was for him. We found out when he started to stutter when he did talk that he actually has slightly delayed hearing, and that's why talking was so difficult." Ryan nodded along and Leo could feel the movement beside his head and subconsciously moved closer, his head going against Ryan's neck almost under his chin.

"Do you still have a delay?" Leo nodded slightly, not wanting to move from the comfy position he'd just found.

"Yeah, it's not too bad anymore, I'm used to it, but as a kid seeing people's lips move just before you heard any sound is a little disorientating, it's so weird, it's only off by like half a second or something stupid but it definitely wasn't helpful as a bilingual child, it's hard enough learning two languages when you do know what sound fits with which shape your mouth should make let alone when it's all like half a movement behind."

"I can imagine...you're something else Leo" he whispered in awe of the boy in his arms who did so much to appear interesting while taking himself out of the equation as much as he could when he was 10x as interesting as any of the other people he talked about. He was a hidden gem and Ryan wanted nothing more than to show this boy to the world and hype him up until he saw how fascinating he really was.

When it was time for Ryan to head home Leo's parents bid him Goodnight and Leo walked him to the front door, not expecting to get a kiss on the cheek, close to the corner of his mouth when Ryan turned to face him. "Sorry, I just really wanted to do that, I should've asked-"

"Don't say sorry, sorry feels like you didn't mean to, and if you're going to kiss me don't be a tease" Leo mumbled and wrapped his arms around Ryan's neck to bring him just a little lower so he could kiss his lips and rest his forehead on his.

"Tonight went better than expected, I've never been so nervous to meet someone's parents before" Leo smiled and pecked Ryan's lips again.

"Papà's never told anyone the story behind that photo before it's always my mamma that explains them all. They like you, or at least they see how much I like you...Did you mean it when you said you'd want to be my boyfriend?" He blushed and loosened his arms around Ryan incase the answer was negative.

"Definitely, but let's save that for a couple of date's time, my mom and dad want to meet you properly too at some point. See how you feel after that and we'll see if you really want to get into something with me" he chuckled softly and Leo smiled, holding back from hugging him tight and not letting him leave like a love struck puppy.

"Pretty sure I will but fine, we'll see. Goodnight Ryan"

"Goodnight Galileo" a short burst of confidence let him kiss Leo again before he rushed out of the door blushing like a mad man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Leo was definitely the kind of kid who loved swings, like there could be a slide and a roundabout and a climbing frame or whatever else and that kid would just keep swinging as high as he could, especially when the sun would start to drop and the trees would block it but he’d get the last few rays each time he swung high enough to see over the trees and I’m getting carried away with the idea of little Leo so I’ll just leave that there!
> 
> Have a wonderful day! :)


	10. Touch starved

Leo wouldn't admit it but after that last kiss he slid down his front door until he reached the floor and repeatedly hit his feet on the floor to expel some of the energy that came with such a cute evening. After his little happy freak out he ran upstairs to gush to Amanda on the phone and hope she wasn't annoyed that he hadn't been keeping her up to date. Fortunately, Amanda was half asleep when she answered and was happy and supportive in her sleepy state until Leo heard soft snores and bid her a good night before ending the call and flopping back on his bed.

The next day at school was going to be hard, he couldn't just start being flirty at school, neither of them were out, and he didn't want to come out before Ryan was ready for fear of the other boy being too worried that he then had some kind of obligation to come out too.

Sure enough, school became a nightmare for the most irritating reasons known to man. It started that morning after their dinner, he arrived at school and saw Ryan with the usual few cheerleaders surrounding him, they caught each other's eyes and Leo couldn't contain his shy smile and could've sworn he saw the ghost of a smile on Ryan's lips too, until the bell rang and one of the cheerleaders kissed Ryan a little too close to his lips and his eyes that once held a smile became stony and his jaw ticked almost unnoticeably as he gave the girls a tight smile whilst they all dispersed and Leo approached, smile a little dimmer than before but still there.

"Galileo, I swear I didn't know she was gonna-" he started to whisper a frantic apology and Leo bumped his shoulder as they walked towards their classes.

"Hey, it's okay, I saw that you didn't appreciate it and I know you're about as straight as a boomerang okay? We're not boyfriends, you have no obligation to tell me even if you had initiated something with someone else" Leo assured still appearing shy which made Ryan's lips and brows draw downward and he paused in the hall before he lead Leo beneath a nearby staircase.

"Galileo, I _want_ you to be my boyfriend when we're both ready, from even before the first time we kissed I have wanted to be someone to you and I'm scared that I'm gonna fck up before that can happen! I don't feel okay about stuff like that, I'm not the kind of person to kiss random people and I don't like that it happens, especially when you're the one who's on my mind, you're the one I'd rather be kissed by" he blushed hard, thankful that they were both late by then so no one could see his intensely rosy cheeks and his usual cold blue eyes that looked warm and inviting like a clear sea.

Without a word of response, Leo pushed up onto his toes and wiped the spot the girl had kissed with his thumb, then kissed over the same spot once and stood back on flat feet. "You, are so cute. We've got to actually attend classes though so..." shaking out of his kiss induced daze Ryan wasted no time in taking Galileo's soft cheeks and defined jaw in his hands, his thumbs having the privilege of resting on his cheek bones, and before he knew it he was kissing the other boy.

They kissed until they heard the sharp click-clacking of a teacher's heels and pulled apart frantically, realizing that Ryan had subconsciously backed Leo into the nearest wall but Leo was certainly not complaining as the teacher, who either simply didn't care or was painfully oblivious, walked past, her heels clacking on the scuffed floors telling them how far she was getting as they faded out.

Once the teacher was out of sight and her footsteps faded, the two let out the soft breaths they'd been holding and Ryan chuckled humorlessly "it's pathetic but I really needed that, I don't like it when Emma and her friends do that, it makes me so uncomfortable"

"Well if you ever need a boy to kiss it better you always seem to know where to bump into me" Leo joked and leaned forward into the darker haired boy.

"Hmm, I'll keep that in mind, thank you Pumpkin"

"Don't call me that" Leo pouted petulantly, earning a deep but soft chuckle from the other boy.

"You like it really, I can see you blushing. Can I hug you?"

"You can hug me whenever you want, Ryan, especially if you're gonna hug me like you did at mine last night. Oh! Random but I need to talk to you in private at some point, not now because I've _really_ got to get to class but some time soon" he spoke as he fulfilled Ryan's request for a hug and wrapped his arms around the taller boy, head on his shoulder and lips grazing his neck.

"Nothing bad right?"

"Nothing bad at all, just a couple questions is all. And my dad had leftover brownies from dessert last night so he let me bring some and I know the guys will take them if I don't give them you when we're alone" he giggled and pulled away with a beaming smile. "See you at lunch?"

"Yeah- yeah, see you at lunch" Ryan mentally kicked himself for stuttering before he too headed to class, scuffing his shoes along the floor in his annoyance at himself.

Ryan fixated on their kiss in class, every time he got irked by the stares or giggly flirting from the odd female classmate he thought back to Galileo's lips on his, moving with such care and softness. He focused on the way Leo fit in his arms so nicely, slotting into place with a reassuring sense of certainty and security and it calmed him to the point he felt he could handle the situation at hand.

He tried his best not to blush like a mad man just thinking about his crush but clearly failed when Logan gave him a smirk and leaned closer to talk to him without taking his eyes off the whiteboard and teacher scrawling on it in front of them. "I was starting to think you were actually a vampire but look at you with some color in your cheeks" he cooed mockingly and nudged Ryan with a playful but unforgiving glint in his eyes. "Seriously though bro, any reason why you're as pink as a barbie doll's handbag?"

"I'm hot"

"More like you think someone else's hot, but who? There's no new girl in class is there?" Logan surveyed the room but found no new faces, no one that he hadn't seen a hundred times before. "Ok so no new girl... what girls does a prude like yourself go for?"

Ryan grunted disdainfully, why could he never seem to catch a break lately? Was he really that obvious about taking interest in someone?

"I'm not a prude" is the response he settled on, it would've been a perfect opportunity to tell him he's not into girls if only they weren't mid calculus class...and he wasn't petrified of coming out.

"Riiiight, that's why you haven't been with a girl in like 4 years even though you have girls throwing themselves at you and single cheerleaders basically lining up to be with you, yeah, totally not a prude" his eyes rolled dramatically and he finally turned to face his friend. "Seriously bro, whoever the girl is, go get some, no wonder you're so riled up all the time, you haven't come in 4 years"

"Just because I haven't been with a girl in a while doesn't mean I don't get off, Logan. I'm not riled up and I don't need to bury myself in girls to be happy. I'm just warm, that's all. Besides, not like you've gotten any action in a while either."

"Excuse you!" Logan gasped dramatically "I have more action than you could imagine, Captain Lonely, I'm not the one who's gonna get blue balls anytime soon!" He chuckled only to be shoved and shove in return until Ryan almost toppled off his chair.

Lunch was fairly calm, most of the guys were on their phones showing each other random videos on Instagram or snapchats they got. But the calm was broken the second Logan got to the table, his smirk directed at Ryan who gave him a glare but it didn't deter the boy from telling the rest of the guys that their captain had a crush. Leo quickly played along but took Ryan's hand under the table just in case he needed it.

"Our Ryan? Dude who's so hung up on his ex he can't go out with another girl?" Dustin asked incredulously, clearly a little shocked that their captain actually had it in him to have feelings for anyone still.

"First of all, not hung up on her, _I_ broke up with _her_ , second, there's no girl, and even if there was why do you care so much?" 

"Honestly? We all think a good fck would loosen you up a bit, you're pretty up tight" Leo saw the irritation make his shoulders tense and stroked his thumb over the back of Ryan's hand then turned his hand over to trace circles on his palm, hoping the slight tickle of the action would give him something else to focus on.

"Who was he with last? A cheerleader or something?" Leo asked, not really interested but he knew asking questions would bring their attention off Ryan directly for a while so he could calm down and Ryan couldn't have been more thankful for the time to breathe through the irritation and urge to tell them all his sexuality just to shut them up but he wasn't ready yet and if his annoyance talking outed him before he was ready he'd probably become a hermit.

Conversation continued almost as if the question hadn't been asked but Leo didn't really care as long as Ryan was alright.

"Eh, you can live without sex, what are hands for? I'd be more upset about company but then again if he was that busy I doubt he'd miss the company right?"

"Well... I've got less happening now than when we broke up so I wouldn't mind company but I just don't want a girlfriend"

"So? Some girls are up for one night things" one of the guys piped up but Ryan shook his head dismissively.

"I don't want sex, if I was gonna get with someone it'd be because I want to be with them not because I want to be in them" he almost shivered uncomfortably at the thought of sex with a girl, he had nothing against girls but being in a relationship with one was just like eating something you just don't like, it's not enjoyable and you'd much rather have something else that actually agrees with your palate.

The guys gave him strange looks apart from Leo and, surprisingly, Jace.

"I sorta get you, now that I'm in a relationship with Aimee it's way better than just hooking up, I mean I still want sex so can't relate on that front, but being in a relationship is worth all the good times, even if you @ssholes decide to interrupt us every time we're about to do something" the eye roll that accompanied his words seemed practiced like he'd done it a thousand times before for the same exact reason and Ryan stifled his laughter at his friend's expense.

"I didn't mean I don't _ever_ want sex, I can just live without it for now for the record, before you all call me a prude again"

"Aww, they grow up so fast, Jace, teach him how to put on a condom"

"Gross, why me?! You do it!"

"Oh ha-ha, very funny, really, you should both be comedians" Ryan gave both Jace and Logan flat looks and the two shook with laughter as he yet again became the butt of the joke.

"Seriously bro, if you're finally gonna get some action we don't want you getting more than you bargained for. Kids are expensive and colleges don't tend to like giving scholarships to guys who can't put a wrapper on it." Dustin piped up while shoving a sandwich in his mouth.

This was the funniest part of their situation and therefore the most difficult, comments like that made Leo want to laugh but he had to refrain, he couldn't just out Ryan but it was funny how well his sexuality had been hidden. Ryan seemed to be in a similar position as he quickly glanced at Leo with a little glint of humor in his eyes.

"Yeah, don't think I'll have an issue there boys, I know how to put on a condom and you know I don't forget much. I seriously doubt there's gonna be any little kids in my life any time soon"

"Because you're prepared or because you're a prude?" Jessie joked and earned a punch to the bicep that was bound to leave a small bruise at least and Leo couldn't hold back his laughter by now.

"I don't think you're a prude, from what I've heard you like making out far too much to be uncomfortable because of sexual stuff"

"Woah, who you been talking to Leo? Someone know something we don't?" Logan chuckled but sounded genuinely intrigued.

"Oh I heard it all my first few weeks here, new kids hear everything because they don't know anyone yet so everyone assumes they're safe from listening ears. So many people were saying how the captain here likes to play tonsil tennis" he laughed as Ryan tried hard to seem irritated by the comment he knew was made up when really he just wanted to laugh because it was true when it came to Leo.

He loved Leo's lips and the feel of his tongue against his, confident but caring as he coaxed Ryan to be more assertive and channel the energy that he usually had for irritation into something sweet and caring. They'd only really made out once, that morning being the first time really, but Ryan was hooked, he knew he was done for the moment they pulled apart and all he wanted to do was wrap Leo back up in his arms, hold him close and kiss him senseless again.

The urge to kiss the other boy was strange to say the least, having never really enjoyed kissing his ex girlfriends, Ryan wasn't entirely sure why Leo was so much more addictive and satisfying to kiss. Lips were lips right? So what was it that made him want to feel Leo's on his rather than one of the cheerleaders? If he closed his eyes would he be able to tell? Was it just a placebo because he was attracted to guys and defaulted to liking contact from boys more without realizing? He had no idea whatsoever, his only explanation was Leo was his only crush and therefore the only exception to his dislike of kissing.

Secretly that made Ryan's heart sing a little, the thought of having found one person that flipped everything he thought he knew about himself on its head and made him feel things he never thought he could, it was worth the confusion he'd felt.

The bell rang and forced them all to separate but Ryan was reluctant to let Leo's hand go, he liked the weight of it, it comforted him, grounded him with a simple squeeze whenever he was too off in his own head about something, now being one of those times and Leo chuckled as his almost-boyfriend whined.

"Come on, a few more hours then I'm all yours at practice, I can't be late twice in one day and neither can you, you're a bad influence on my punctuality, Captain" that earned him a soft, puffed laugh and Leo loved how he could see the smile bloom on the other boy's lips.

"Am not."

"Are too, now come on, I've really got to go and so do you!" He ducked his head to Ryan's ear and whispered "if we're late to class I won't give you any kisses at practice and I'll torture you in 5th period" Ryans eyes widened as his mouth fell open slightly wanting to protest but Leo's more assertive manner made Ryan's voice flee him for a moment.

Unaffected by Ryan's tongue tied, flustered moment Leo simply smiled as if he didn't notice the effect he'd had and coaxed his almost-boyfriend to get up and start on their way to their classes. "Come on, handsome, if we get to class fast enough there's that staircase on the way to my class, we might be able to get away with a quick kiss" this kid knew all too well what strings to pull to make Ryan do whatever he wanted and it both scared and thrilled the brown haired boy.

They weren't fast enough for that kiss but once in the locker room at the end of the day Leo made up for it. The two were there before everyone else and Leo gently pushed Ryan into one of the showers and kissed his cheek knowing it wasn't enough but he wanted to see how Ryan would react when he pulled away and started to walk off to get changed.

Leo expected to be called back, pulled back in by his arm, told that he was a tease, but what he hadn't expected at all was the whimper Ryan let out, a soft sound, almost a whine for more but he didn't act on it, he just covered the spot where lips had been so gently pressed. "You okay there?" Leo teased and Ryan's head bobbed unconvincingly, the need in his eyes giving him away entirely.

"It's only day two and you're so needy. It's like you've been starved of human contact." Leo hummed thoughtfully, his voice void of judgement but full of curiosity as he returned from his teasing half departure. He watched as Ryan's head nodded more certainly this time and his cheeks flamed red, emphasising the scar on his cheek bone and Leo pouted at the thought of Ryan not getting the contact he needed. "When was the last time someone just held you? Not like in a sexual or romantic sense, when did someone just innocently hold you for a while?"

"I-I don't know?" They heard the locker room door open but Leo refused to leave the stall without giving Ryan a real kiss, one that was soft but satisfying as their lips worked to push their care for each other into the other boy, where their feelings couldn't be denied. They had to cut their kiss short before someone saw them both come out of the same shower and Leo whispered the promise of continuing their kiss and their conversation after practice, their lips brushing with each word.

It took Ryan a moment to gather himself again before he greeted his teammates who flooded in one after the other, bustling as they entered.

"Alright boys, warm up, I want you 5 on 4, the usual play while I set up the training exercise for our rookie and teach him the last few rules and plays before he actually plays with us next practice got it?" A chorus of confirmations followed as they all filed out onto the field and did as told with little fuss leaving Ryan and Leo in relative peace as the former set up training exercises to help Leo gain some of the strength he'd need to endure the shoves that occurred so frequently without snapping in two.

"After this we need to talk, I need to know just how much you need from me and if I'm the right person to give it you. I don't want us to start something and realize once we've dived in that it was never going to work or something. I know about the anxiety, but if there's other stuff I need to know then we need to sort things out before I properly meet your family" Ryan nodded along as he instructed Leo on what to do between their conversation.

"I know-widen your stance- I'm more baggage than I look and I'm sorry if this won't work for you- don't curl in on yourself- but I hope it does, I really do, I'll get it if I'm just not right for you though"

"I'm sure you will be, I just want to be able to do right by you, can't do that if I don't know what you need" he reasoned and winked then stopped for a moment to take in Ryan's faint blush with an accomplished looking smile.

"Don't make me blush around the guys, at least wait until I'm exercising so I can blame it on that" he whined and Leo laughed as he repeated the simple exercises.

Once practice was over and all the other guys left, Leo immediately gravitated towards Ryan where he sat on the bleachers looking tired as ever.

"Want to skip the extra stuff for today Captain? You look beat" the freckled hands that cupped Ryan's face were soft and comforting, and the brown eyes that met his icy grey-blues were warm and revitalising, like a cup of coffee that held the promise of renewed energy.

"Can't, you've got to be ready to play next time we practice in case the guys get annoyed with the lack of games and you still don't know our plays." A sigh passed his lips, it would be so much nicer to just stay like this, to feel Leo's hands on his cheeks, his thumbs swiping over his skin in gentle windshield wiper motions every so often.

"Okay, but after that we're talking about you and me, no more football talk, we are my priority, not football." Ryan frowned, a little annoyance in his down drawn brow but Leo soon kissed it away. "Don't look at me like that, I like football, it's fun to be able to do something with my otherwise useless speed, I appreciate the opportunity much more now, but my priorities lie with people, the people I care about, not sports." He assured seriously and made Ryan look him in the eyes as he spoke which had any negative feelings the brunette had once had crumbling away into vulnerability.

"Okay...so -um- our first play looks like this..." he took a piece of paper from his clipboard and they rearranged so that they were sat side by side and Ryan showed each of their most used plays as simply as he could without being patronising, answering any questions Leo had and reassuring him that they weren't that hard to remember once you got into it.

It was calming, explaining something he knew, all Ryan had ever really clicked with was football, for some people math just clicked into place for them and it was easy to understand, for others it was English or science or color theory but for Ryan it had always been sports, particularly football. He knew that it was a long shot trying to become a footballer professionally after school but he'd never do it if he didn't at least try.

He loved knowing what he was doing and why, he loved understanding where people were going to go next and why and how he could stop it from affecting him, it was so natural to him and explaining it to Leo felt like a gulp of fresh air. No one wanted football explaining to them, people either grew up with it and knew it or they simply didn't care, but Leo cared, even if he hadn't initially he definitely had an interest now and being able to feed that interest excited Ryan, reassuring him to no end that he wasn't good for nothing at all, that he didn't bring nothing intellectually stimulating to the table in their relationship.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah I think I get it, could you go over that one again?" Leo pointed to a random play and listened as Ryan dived back into explaining. He was stunning when he was in his element like this. Leo knew he'd have the memories of these moments of explanation playing in his head, in the back of his mind if he ever felt down, Ryan's sure voice as he talked about his passion was soothing, almost to the point that the ginger boy could feel his heartbeat slow, the exercise of minutes before no longer making it beat faster and less evenly than he'd have liked.

"Leo? Leo are you even listening to me?!" Frustration. That was not a good sound, not one that Leo appreciated and it made his heartbeat spike again, thinking back to last time Ryan had been frustrated and he'd obtained a sprained ankle from it. He shrank away from the question thinking 'no, I wasn't but not because I'm not taking this seriously'.

"Um- no? I-I already understand the play though, I just wanted to hear you talk like that again..." the air around them seemed to have frozen, cold and unforgiving until Ryan blushed yet again.

"Like what?"

"Like you caught a shooting star and you're telling me about it... you just sound so happy and confident, it's nice. I promise I get the plays, I haven't just been ignoring what you're actually saying this whole time, I-" he was cut off abruptly by lips on his own, capturing any other promises, any other words that made Ryan go weak at the knees.

Ryan pulled away after a few moments, breath heaving slightly as he breathed an apology for cutting him off. "No, it's um it's okay, it's time to talk about you actually. You and the fact that you're addicted to kissing" Leo joked earning a chuckle and a smirk.

"It's all your fault Pumpkin..."

"Oh really? Blaming me now are we Captain?" He'd noticed how calling him that made Ryan's neck flush a little as his lips twitched upwards and it felt good to get such a subtle but definite reaction out of him.

"No one else to blame, it's all your fault, it's your fault I know my sexuality, it's your fault I've kissed someone for the first time in 4 years, it's your fault I actually _enjoy_ kissing so much when I used to be impassive to it, it's your fault I'm here right now stealing kisses and it's definitely your fault that Ro stuffed a condom in my wallet, my glove box, my jeans- front and back pockets- and one in my football kit that my mom found when she went to wash it. All your fault."

Without really noticing, Ryan had been inching towards the freckled boy yet again with each thing he listed until his lips ghosted Leo's again and this time it was Leo who started something, sticking his tongue out cheekily, he swiped his tongue over Ryan's lower lip, from there Ryan swore something took over his body as he pushed Leo down onto the bench and gladly tangled their tongues.

Leo breathed heavily between kisses trying to muster the strength to push up, forcing Ryan off him and onto his back on the bench, switching their positions. "I might be small but I'm not taking it laying down today pretty boy" he mumbled between presses of their lips feeling a groan rumble in Ryan's throat as they kissed, hungry for more of one another's affection.

"And you wonder why I can't stop kissing you" Ryan huffed once they finally pulled apart, goofy smiles on their faces.

"You can't stop kissing me because you have been completely starved of touch, not because I decided I wanted to try and top you. What's up with that hmm?" Ryan shrugged and pulled Leo down onto his chest gently with a tired sigh.

"My mom hugs me and my sister has a tendency to mess up my hair just because and that's about as much caring physical contact as I get. I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 14, I've spent 4 years without wanting anyone, without caring that I didn't really have anyone I could just hold and be held by when I felt randomly... 'cuddly', for lack of a better word. I think having someone there emotionally and physically just flipped the switch for me and now I don't want to stop."

He felt Leo move to look up at him from his place on his chest and looked down to meet his gaze as he spoke softly "you don't have to stop, I just wanted to know if it was something I needed to worry about but I think we've just found out that you're just a little clingy right now because it's new, it'll probably mellow out after a little while. Even if it doesn't at least now I know it's nothing serious like you being completely neglected or something, I can handle a clingy boyfriend." Ryan rolled his eyes simply because he couldn't deny it and he knew that Leo knew that too.

"Stop bullying me and please kiss me again, we've got to get changed and on our way home before Janitor Pete, locks up" it was meant to sound casual but it came out more as a whine and Ryan only hoped Leo would take pity on him for sounding so lame.

"How about we get dressed first and when we're not covered in sweat and dirt we can kiss all you want in your car?" Ryan nodded and sat up quickly, eager to get to a point where he could just kiss his almost-boyfriend silly, getting himself drunk on his affection.

As they walked back to the locker room with the equipment they'd brought, Ryan tried his best not to look so desperate but by Leo's quiet giggles he knew he was doing a bad job.

"Ryan, calm down, why so needy? It's not like I'm teasing you or something, we'll get dressed and then we can do whatever."

"I know, I just- ughhh! I haven't felt this way before, not since I was like 7 and I was obsessed with Spider-Man! I feel like a little kid with no freaking self-control! I just- I'm trying really hard not to ruin this but at the same time I've never felt so free to just be myself and it's making me want to either just kiss you or pick you up and spin you like some cheesy rom com scene, I guess in my head that's the only way I can think of saying thank you and showing you I really like you at the same time... and making my heart do that cheesy squeezing, fluttering feeling because I really love that feeling. I don't know Ok? I'll try and keep it in check."Leo walked in front of him to stop him from walking any further before they'd sorted this out.

"Hey, it's okay. Just so you know, you don't have to thank me for anything Ryan, you've thanked me before, you're not in my debt or something. I know you're thankful and I know you care about me, you don't have to feel like that's something you need to prove or make clearer, it's crystal clear to me. If you're going to kiss me I want it to be because you _want_ to kiss me. If this is just to tell me something, that's what words are for, Captain, but if you're practically buzzing because you can't wait to kiss me then just hold my hand or something to tide yourself over. Squeeze my hand a couple of times to tell me you're feeling clingy from now on yeah? If I know what it is you're feeling then I can do something to help."

Ryan nodded and pulled Leo in abruptly and laid his head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm really bad with this emotions stuff." He whispered only to have one of Leo's hands find its way into his hair and the other to stroke the lower half of his spine soothingly.

"S'okay babe, we'll make it work, now why were you so obsessed with Spider-Man?" Leo figured taking his mind off his need for physical affection would help Ryan to learn to control his emotions by putting them into something else until they could be expressed properly.

"I watched the Spider-Man movies with Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man when I was a kid and I thought it was so cool that he could climb anything he wanted and he was really smart so I immediately thought he was incredibly cool. Turns out I have a thing for nerds, I hated it when he pretended he was so much cooler and turned into a douche in the third movie, I wanted the nerdy guy back and when he got out of that phase I went back to thinking he was awesome. Didn't help that I didn't realize it then but I definitely had a crush on that dweeb, I watch the movies now and kinda cringe at how excited I used to get at certain parts but what can I do? At least we know I definitely have never been straight, no wonder my mom guessed." He chuckled as they got into the locker room and went immediately towards the showers.

"That's cute, did you ever want to do the Spider-Man kiss?"

"Nah, I was young enough that kissing was gross"

"You sure it wasn't just because he was kissing a girl?" 

Ryan went quiet in thought as he scrubbed the sweat off his skin. "Could've been I guess...why, do you want to do it?"

"You gotta admit if you didn't take the chance to recreate it you wouldn't be doing 7 year old you proud. Especially being able to recreate it with a ginger, I'm not a box red red-head like that MJ was but ginger is probably the closest you'll get" he laughed and lathered shampoo in his hair.

"Seriously? Are we really considering this?"

"We don't have to, I just think it'd be a laugh." Leo shrugged as though Ryan could see him and rinsed his hair out.

"Where would we even do it?"

"Monkey bars at the old playground? I don't know, or we could just make out in your car and work out Spider-Man next time?" Leo stepped out of the shower and started getting dressed and heard Ryan drop a bottle in his haste to finish his shower.

By the time Ryan had finished, Leo was sat dry and dressed on the benches, no doubt texting his mom that he'd stayed behind a little later.

He walked past the other boy and got dressed before coming back to kiss his head and grab his hand. "Car time, c'mon"

Leo giggled and let himself be dragged to Ryan's car where he threw his bag in the trunk with Ryan's and got guided into the back set of seats where Ryan climbed over him, hovering with a delighted smile until he went too close the door and saw Jessie walking towards the school. "Fck, Jessie must've forgotten something, he's outside, fck!"

Leo could see him panicking and pulled him down over him. "Don't worry, it's getting dark, if he comes over just kiss me, he won't be able to see my face and he'll think you're with a girl, just ignore him or wave him away okay? We'll be fine, I promise, the worst that's gonna happen is he'll think you were with a girl and poke fun, the guys do that all the time." Ryan nodded and looked behind him quickly to see where Jessie was before turning back to Leo making sure there was as little light on him as possible.

"Didn't really want an audience for this but like hell is that gonna stop me" he whispered and kissed Leo's cheeks then his nose and finally his lips, his body pressed close to the boy below him, covering him up. Meanwhile Leo pushed his hands under Ryan's shirt to touch his warm skin and further hide himself, his freckles would give him away if there were enough other hints so he did his best to hide himself without being too distracted from the lips on his own.

Both boys noticed the shadow that fell over the seat beside them where a recently turned on street light had been casting its soft orange beam, clearly someone was looking and from the surprised laugh, which was more of a hard breath with a hint of a laugh at the end, they both knew exactly who it was.

Leo kept his arms tucked between their chests but put his hands on Ryan's cheeks to keep him from pulling too far away for breath and Ryan placed his hands on Leo's waist near where his hips were and slipped the hand nearest the back of seats they were on up his shirt so that Jessie couldn't see Leo's skin properly but would see that his hands were wandering over the 'girl' he was with.

It was only after their teasing touches that Jessie knocked on the window and Ryan's free hand moved without thought to give him a middle finger and go back to making out as though no one was there. Luckily Jessie got the message that they wouldn't be interrupted and laughed to himself "not getting away with it that easily bro, see you tomorrow" he chuckled and walked off, the shadow disappearing but neither boy trusted it so they stayed close, breathing heavily until they heard a car start up and drive off.

"That was close, but fck you're a good kisser" he was out of breath but Ryan chuckled and kissed Leo again, softly this time, his hands sliding back to just his waist, no further.

"Not too bad yourself, Captain, your hands were freezing at first though" both boys laughed and Leo pushed up to kiss the corner of Ryan's mouth.

"Tease."

"Shhh, you like it really, come on, I've got to get home before my mamma comes looking for me worried, it got dark fast and I think it's going to rain"

"Yeah, let's get going. I'll check the coast is clear before you sit up yeah?" Leo nodded and pecked Ryan's lips once more before he could sit up.

Ryan got up somewhat reluctantly and looked around to find that they were indeed alone in the school parking lot, thankfully, and he climbed off Leo and into the driver's seat up front then signaled for Leo to get in the passenger side.

"I am 100% being interrogated tomorrow, why didn't we just move to the front and say I was your ride home?"

"Because a)I kinda promised we'd make out in your car, b) we didn't think of that earlier and c) where's the fun in that?" Leo gave him a cheeky grin which earned him a somewhat flat look but Ryan couldn't stop himself from smiling a little.

"Hmmm, I guess it was worth it, you'd better sit next to me at lunch tomorrow, I'm not sitting through torture alone, Pumpkin. Seatbelt on?" He waited until he heard the click of Leo's seatbelt and then started to pull out of the parking lot, not sure if he should dread tomorrow or be glad that it'll give him a laugh to pretend Leo was a girl.

"See you tomorrow Ryan- oh the brownies! And before I forget, what's your favorite song? I'm making a playlist for us both" Leo grinned as he handed over the box of brownies.

"I'll send you some of my favorites, I've already got a couple in mind that remind me of you but I'll send them you when we're FaceTiming so I can see your reaction" the two shared silly smiles before Leo surged forward and pecked his cheek saying his last goodbye before he jogged up to his front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I grammar checked this pretty late so if there’s anything amiss I apologise, also I know I keep saying I’m going to try and stick to an update schedule but I clearly suck at that so sorry! 
> 
> Anywhooo, hope you enjoyed this chapter, also for the playlist Leo is making I got the idea from scrubster’s actual playlist for these two cuties on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/diiamwii/playlist/2NDtBCVHGZR9mhpvwHv0mj?si=tIChXta9QIW49LCy5hBnAQ


	11. Player’s back in the game

Next day Ryan walked into school and had people give him flirty looks as usual but it felt like there were more people looking at him, more guys giving him approving looks as though he'd done something they respected over the past day and it was clear Jessie had been a little gossip, as usual.

"Ryan! Heard you finally got some again, good on you bro, 'bout time!" Matt from his Math class patted him on the back as he passed him in the hallway.

Later a couple of girls were in front of his locker asking if he wanted to sit with them at lunch, and after those two came another in his next class who the teacher thankfully told to be quiet.

By the time lunch actually rolled round Ryan was officially irritated by pretty much all human life but that was nothing new, he could handle the irritation as long as he got at least a few minutes of interaction he didn't want to immediately extract himself from and that's where Leo came in.

Ryan tossed his bag under the table and climbed over the bench to sit beside Leo, the rest of the team pretty much already there, staring at him with devious smiles, every last one of them.

"Anyone want to tell me what's going on?" He feigned ignorance to who had seen them and even being seen at all only for Jessie to roll his eyes and smirk.

"Your secret's out bro, we know you're back in the game, since when did this happen?" He quizzed and Ryan pulled off a convincing confused face, so much so even Leo would've believed it were he not there...and the one he was kissing.

"What are you talking about Jessie? What do you mean 'back in the game'? I was never off the team?"

"Stop playing dumb, not that game! I saw you with a girl in the back seat of your car last night! You flipped me off and wouldn't stop sucking face!"

"Ohhh... that, I thought you were the caretaker trying to get us to leave." He shrugged as though it were nothing and took a grape from Leo's lunch.

"'Oh'!? All you've got to say is 'oh'? First time you've been with a girl in like half a decade and all you've got to say is 'oh'?!" Theo asked incredulously and Ryan tried his hardest not to smile but it just looked like he was smirking as he shrugged.

"Surprised I haven't heard any of the girls bragging they got with Mr Broody, honestly, who was she? Is she from another school? Secret girlfriend?" Dustin quizzed, wiggling his brows suggestively and Ryan shook his head trying his hardest not to laugh.

"That is none of your business."

"Aw, come on broooo, you can't leave us hanging like that, was she at least good?" Ryan rolled his eyes at the question and moved his leg discreetly so he could nudge Leo's leg and saw him smile a goofy smile out of the corner of his eye and duck his head to hide both his smile and his lightly blushing cheeks.

"We didn't have sex, _someone_ knocked on the window so we decided to leave before someone else came. All we did was kiss, maybe a little into 2nd base but that's about it." Leo remembered Ryan's hand making its way under his shirt and gliding over his skin and had to hold himself back from smiling too much and giving them away.

"So if I hadn't knocked on your window I'd have witnessed you doing the dance with no pants?" Jessie turned up his nose making Ryan laugh and Leo try so hard not to.

"Nah, I don't want to have sex in my car believe it or not"

"Why? You too good for car sex Ry?" Jace joked and nudged his best friend teasingly, making him bump into Leo more, not that he was complaining of course.

"Hey if you and Aimee want to fck in your car, sure, but I drive my mom to her girls nights in that car and I share it with Ro when she needs it, kinda awkward and just a little bit of a mood killer. And I don't think my friend would have appreciated being fcked in such a small space either, my car isn't exactly huge."

"You and your 'friend' did look pretty cramped up in there, didn't look like you minded it as much as you say you did though" Jessie smirked.

"Hey, I wasn't _that_ uncomfortable, I was making out with someone and I wasn't the one with seatbelt buckles probably digging into them so yeah, I'm not complaining, but they might. Anyway, doesn't matter, what matters is now I have what feels like the whole female population trying to get with me" he gave Jessie a pointed look but he just raised his hands in defence.

"I only told the guys" Ryan looked around the group and a couple looked down at their food, coincidentally it was 2 of the 3 guys with girlfriends.

"Really? Let me guess, you told Aimee and you told Freya?" He looked first at Jace then Harvey and both boys nodded.

"She said she wouldn't tell anyone though"

"Dude, did you really expect her not to after you told her and you weren't supposed to either?"

"But she's my girlfriend, it's not like I told someone random!"

"Neither did she and neither did the girl she told, it's one big chain bro, now Ryan's gonna get all p¡ssy because he has a bunch of girls after him and he's apparently the only high school guy who doesn't want that!" Chris laughed as though the notion of a guy not wanting female attention was a joke and Leo tapped Ryan's foot with his then Ryan brought his feet together to trap Leo's between his almost like he was holding him the way he would clasp a hand in his if he could.

"Just don't feed into it okay? I really cannot be bothered to deal with people, you guys know I'm not a people person like 70% of the time."

"It's more like 90% but sure" Jace teased and nudged his friend only to receive a nudge in return. "Don't think you've got out of telling me who you were with Ry" he whispered making Ryan groan at his persistence.

"Dude, it's none of your business, it'll probably never happen again anyway" Ryan was getting desperate for the focus to shift off him by now, anxiety bubbling in his chest.

"Awh man, did you scare her off with that weird zoning out thing you do? You're literally doing it right now, what the fck Ryan, what're you looking at like that?" Leo soon realized that he was starting to panic so he tugged Ryan's arm to get his attention and centre him a little.

"I'm gonna have a little chat with mr spacey here, he was doing this at extra practice yesterday after you guys left, this morning I thought it was because he had been with someone and he'd been nervous during our training to meet up with them but clearly it's something else." He made a quick excuse and started dragging Ryan out of the cafeteria and into the schoolyard.

Once out in the fresh air Leo sat the other boy down on one of the picnic benches and sat beside him with a reassuring closeness. "You're gonna be okay Ryan, I promise you, if there's anything I can do to stop it then no one will know until you're ready okay? We've got this, just breathe with me, they still think it was a girl, if they keep digging just make something up. I'm not gonna be offended if you say something like you're never going to see 'her' again or something, don't worry about making something up and offending me because you won't, just do whatever you think is right ok?"

Ryan shook his head and dropped it to his hands "I don't want to lie to them Leo, sure, some of them I'd be sort of okay lying to about something like this but Jace has been my friend since kindergarten, it sounds dumb but I've never lied to him about anything this big before and it sucks, it feels unnatural."

He was a private guy but that didn't mean Ryan didn't share things with the people he trusted, his sister and Jace being his main two people he felt able to openly talk to no matter how much they could both annoy him at times. It felt wrong lying to either of them and he was kind of relieved that Rosalie had found out by accident because trying to lie to would've been hell.

"Do you trust him?" Ryan's eyebrows furrowed and he squinted at Leo as if to tell him that was a stupid question.

"Of course I trust him, he wouldn't be my best friend if I didn't, Leo"

"Well would you be okay telling him about your sexuality? If I went in there and asked him to come out to talk to you, would you trust him enough to tell him so you don't have to lie to him? I know it's a big thing to spring on him or to tell him without much thought, but it might be easier to handle everyone else if someone else that you trust knows and can help you out better than I can because, let's face it, he knows you better than I do" Leo tried to say it as gently as possible, he didn't want to upset Ryan but they both had to face the fact that they'd have to tell people someday.

"I don't know Leo... he's not a stranger to using 'gay' as an insult, I don't think he'd be too accepting..."

"Well if you can't tell him then I don't know how you're gonna keep this a secret without lying to him, Ryan. I don't want to pressure you, so if you don't want to tell him we can go back in there and I'll try to distract them somehow but you've got to try and keep calm, I know it's way easier said than done but if you're stressed they're just going to be more curious and make you feel even more anxious and stressed, yeah? So when you feel ok we'll go back but not before then."

It was weird seeing Leo so authoritative and firm with him but Ryan appreciated the stability Leo offered him in that moment and he just wanted to pull him in and hold onto him but he knew he couldn't at school and it was starting to grind on his nerves.

"Thanks Leo, Uh, d'you think Jace would take it well if I told him?" Leo sighed and leaned back on the bench a little, looking at the wall of the school in front of them.

"I think that if he's really your friend he'll accept it even if he thinks it 'weird' or whatever. I don't know him as well as you do, but he hasn't made any jokes or insults while I've been here and it's been months. Maybe he's changed his views, maybe he'll be okay with it, but we won't know until it happens I guess."

The debate of whether or not to tell Jace was going back and forth like a tennis ball in Ryan's head and Leo could practically see it happening but stayed quiet while Ryan sorted through his thoughts.

After a good few minutes of internal debate Ryan subtlety tugged on the edge of Leo's shirt to get his attention off the clouds that he'd taken to watching while he waited. Leo rolled his head to look at the other boy who looked both determined and nervous and immediately knew his decision. "Could you get him?" It was quiet but Leo heard him and slid off the bench with a reassuring smile.

"I'll stand just over there when I come back and if you want me to leave just nod me off ok?" Ryan gave him a small nod and smile before the ginger boy went back inside to grab Jace.

It wasn't long until Ryan heard Jaces voice and looked up from his hands. "What's up bro? Leo said you asked for me?"

"Yeah, look, Ace, don't freak out, I just need to tell you something." Jace chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

"You know when you say 'don't freak out' it freaks people out right? What's up with you bro? Why are you being so weird? Is it because of the girl? Are we taking it too far?" He knew his friend well, too much banter that made him uncomfortable got him riled up, and up until a couple years before he'd just lash out because of it, nowadays he tended to take himself out of the situation but not know what to do once he had.

"Kinda... I mean, I just don't want to lie to you bro, there was no girl."

Jace laughed and nudged Ryan's shoulder "That's it? That's what's bugging you? So what? Jessie made it up then I'm guessing" Ryan shook his head and looked over to Leo, who was leaning against the school building watching in case he was needed, for reassurance.

Leo smiled and nodded him on hoping it was enough to give him the extra push he needed.

"Um-not really, he saw me, he just didn't see me with a girl..."

Silence washed over them and Ryan's worry and stress levels were skyrocketing by the minute until finally Jace broke the thick tension.

"So, what? You're telling me you're gay now? Dude, if you're fcking with me this isn't funny." He was deadly serious and Ryan's confidence was quickly falling apart.

"I'm not fcking with you, you think I'd want to make things awkward like this if I wasn't serious? Leo already knows, he thinks that you knowing about me will help me not feel so fcking awkward around everyone else because you know me best and I can trust you...I-I can trust you with this right?" Without even thinking Jace nodded and patted Ryan on the back as though nothing surprising had been said, as shocked as he was, Ryan had always been and always would be like a brother to him and his sexuality wasn't going to change that.

"Yeah man - yeah, I got you. So that's why you kept calling the girl your 'friend'... who's the unlucky guy then?" Ryan shoved his friend at the joke and blushed despite how hard he tried not to, surprising Jace who had never seen Ryan blush because of _anyone_ before. "Huh, you really do like dudes don't you? This is so weird, I never even considered you'd be gay, I just thought you hated people in general"

"Oh I do, people are annoying as fck but after having a gay crisis I feel like I'm also annoying so who cares? As for the 'unlucky guy' are you sure you want to know?" He smirked at Jace's torn expression until he finally nodded with a wince, bracing for the impact.

Ryan waved Leo over discreetly and pulled him to sit beside him, biting his lip in anticipation of his best friend's response.

"Leo? Leo's your boyfriend? But you're straight, I _know_ you're straight, you've had like serious relationships with girls, you told us that-" he was pointing accusingly at Leo until he was interrupted and his hand slowly went limp and fell to his side again.

"I'm bisexual Jace, also, technically not his boyfriend yet, we're just dating at the moment" Ryan wanted so desperately to pull Leo closer but they couldn't risk anyone seeing so he settled for a small smile and reigned himself in.

Meanwhile, Jace was still trying to compute all the information that had been sprung on him in the past 5 minutes.

"Ok, so when did this happen? How long have you had this one up your sleeve Ry?"

"You remember when I started pushing the team really hard and you had to tell me that Leo had a sprained ankle and everyone else was exhausted?" Jace nodded slowly and Ryan sighed knowing he had a lot of explaining to do.

"I'd been pushing so hard because I was frustrated at myself and I wasn't really all there because I was seriously questioning everything I thought I knew about myself. A couple months before that I'd talked to Leo about someone hypothetically being gay because I'd started to feel something for him and it was driving me crazy. He was really cool with the idea and it just made me want to understand what I was feeling more but I also fcking hated that I was questioning myself when I was certain before he came that I was straight as could be.

"After you basically showed me I was being a d¡ck I apologised to him and it kinda just snowballed from there. Our first date was at the laser tag place, you remember getting annoyed because your sister goes there?" Jace's eyes widened and he punched Ryan's shoulder hard enough to hurt but not enough to bruise.

"You're lucky she wasn't there, I don't need her seeing people make out, I don't want her getting ideas, you know I hate her stupid boyfriend. He always eats my breakfast bars whenever he comes over, he's like a fcking squirrel!" The fact that that was the only thing that irritated Jace about their relationship lifted a weight off Ryan's shoulders and he finally let himself relax and laugh with his best friend until Leo interrupted.

"I've got to go meet Amanda, I'll see you guys at practice?" They both nodded and Leo pecked Ryan's temple quickly, making sure no one else but Jace saw, and jogged off to find Amanda leaving Ryan blushing and Jace on the verge of laughter.

"Not a word" Ryan warned but Jace simply couldn't take him seriously, with his reddened cheeks he looked like a pouty child rather than the usual, serious, no nonsense Ryan he knew.

"You're whipped, you're actually fcking wrapped around his little finger! Oh, this is amazing, your turn to get made fun of for going soft" he couldn't help but laugh, after so long of the guys telling him he was utterly gone for Aimee he finally had the chance to do the same to Ryan.

"Hey! I never made fun of you for being soft, I made fun of you because you and Aims will literally have sex anywhere you can get away with it, leave my stupid emotions out of this" looking back on it he was right, the guys tended to focus on his soft side but Ryan had definitely taken to making jokes about his sex life which was substantially more laughable since the guys decided to drop by every time they were getting somewhere.

"Ugh, Fine. But when you two start doing stuff I will mess with you mercilessly, do you know how annoying the guys are with that sort of stuff!? I haven't had sex in like 2 months!"

"Put your phone on silent, go to Aimee's, lock the bedroom door and close the curtains. The guys won't go to Aimee's unless they've already been to yours, they'll call and assume you're at Aimee's, think they can catch you out again but if they can't get in and they can't see in to annoy you then they're pretty much hopeless and they have to either sit and wait for you knowing you just had sex or they go home and wish that _they_ were having sex. It's not that hard bro. Plus we all just have really bad timing, I don't go out to stop you guys, it just feels like every time I call you're just about to do something." He shrugged and shivered a little, it was hardly noticeable but Jace saw it.

"While we're on the topic of talking to you just before you're about to do something, when we were playing COD a couple days ago I know you were doing something at the same time and it was just gross so if you could not that'd be great" Jace smirked, laughter almost escaping his lips.

"Whoops? It's not like you were innocent, I heard someone on your end too, I'm guessing Leo?" Ryan shook his head and leaned back on the table part of the bench to get more comfortable.

"He came over at the end of our game, you probably heard Ro messing up my room looking for something. Even if it were Leo you wouldn't hear anything near what I was hearing, you're less subtle than you think you are that's for sure."

Jace gave him a flat look then rolled his eyes "so you're telling me I didn't hear you sucking face with your boyfriend? Then what the hell were those sounds?" Ryan blushed yet again, unable to stop it and hating that he couldn't.

"First of all he's not my boyfriend _yet_ , I'm waiting until he officially meets my parents, and we kissed when he came into my room and that's it. He laid on my bed talking to Ro until she left, then came and laid his head on my lap, did you really hear anything more than that?"

"Honestly it could've been Aims, she was not happy I was playing when she wanted to fck so she was making it as difficult as she could for me to concentrate, I'm guessing Leo doesn't really mind you gaming?"

"Eh, depends, sometimes he'll lie on my lap and just watch what I'm doing, other times he will straight up just sit on me and I either have to play around him or give up and let him do whatever. So far he's only done that once and it was only because he had a really bad stomach ache and just wanted to cuddle. He plays more Zelda than anything else, he's not really into first person shooter stuff, as long as I'm not working myself up about something going wrong in the game he's been pretty okay with it so far."

" _So far_ , wait until you have sex, it'll never be the same" Ryan laughed and rolled his eyes.

"I'm not gonna turn sex obsessed if that's what you're saying."

"Well you also said you were straight so I'm gonna just wait and see."

"I'm more likely to turn to mush than be sex obsessed, I used to find kissing so unnecessary and weird but here I am, with literally everyone in the school knowing I was making out with someone in my car last night. I'm warning you now, if we end up together and come out to everyone I'm gonna be _the worst_ , and I can't even help it." He chuckled at his own inability to control his emotions for Leo. If they came out to everyone he'd no doubt be holding him in some way at all times, kissing him whenever he looked like he needed it or if he simply wanted to feel the other boy's lips on his own to feel that lovely warm expanding foam feeling that filled his whole body.

"You've got it bad Ry, does he know you're this gooey for him?" It worried Jace that his friend was so invested already when he didn't even know if Leo felt that same intensity for him.

"Oh he knows, we were talking about it last night and he didn't say that he had the same problem but I don't really need him to say it out loud. I know he likes me just as much, he's just more used to expressing himself in a more controlled way than I am. It sounds so stupid and mushy but he shows me, by the way he acts, that he cares and he likes me just as much as I like him. He just kind of knows when to do something, when no one's looking or when we can get away with it. He's constantly playing footsie with me under the table whenever things get a little too close to coming out, he cares for me Ace, he doesn't treat me like I'm just some moody jock, he comforts me when I need it, he makes me feel like it's okay not to be the strong one like my dad always said I had to be. Fck, I'm in so deep already and he hasn't even officially met everyone... I'm so screwed"

"Hey, no, you're not, Leo's a good guy, he won't screw you over, don't doubt it now, okay? C'mon, we've got to go back before the guys get weird about this." He started to walk off but Ryan stayed with his head in his hands, one creeping back to cup the nape of his neck.

"I really like him Ace, I don't know how to handle all this"

Jace sighed and sat back down beside him with sympathy in his eyes. "Look, I know it's fcking terrifying when you actually like someone. When I started actually really liking Aims I was so scared because I didn't know how to be a boyfriend, you know how I was before her, I had no idea how to deal with what I was feeling for her because it had never happened to me before. There's no instruction manual for this stuff Ry, you've just got to feel your way through it. It wasn't easy to adjust to liking Aimee, I didn't have a clue what to do, especially being as her dad basically hated me from our first meeting, but you know better than anyone that I'm happier with her in my life. I know we joke about Aims being a partial nymphomaniac or me being sex crazed but seriously, I love her so much and that's something a couple years ago I never thought I'd say, if I had to give up the sex or not be with her I'd give up the sex for her, she just makes me that happy. You don't know where this is gonna take you, you don't know if you're gonna fall in love with him or if he's going to fall for you, it's a huge vulnerability to like someone bro, but if you don't feel scared then you don't care enough for it to ever have a chance of becoming love the way I see it. You like him, he likes you, everything from there is what you make it and I have a feeling that you two will end up together and happy and Aimee will insist that we go on a double date because she's always wanted to do that and when she finds out you're gay she definitely won't think you're a player anymore."

Both boys laughed, Aimee had always assumed that Ryan's standoffish attitude was a ploy to get girls, she was adamant that he was the typical 'bad boy' from every teen romance she'd ever read when I reality he just wasn't a people person. He wasn't an introvert, he definitely got his energy from socializing but it had to be the right people otherwise he got irritated, fast.

"If you can make sure she doesn't tell anyone else then you can tell her, just don't tell her about me and Leo being sort of together, it's one thing for her to let slip that I'm gay it's another entirely for her to out our relationship when Leo doesn't even know she knows. If you do tell her about me just please make sure no one else finds out, I'm definitely not ready for everyone to know yet."

"You sure? You know she'll probably never stop apologizing right?"

"Yeah, I know, she's going to find out at some point though so might as well give her a head start on everyone else at computing it."

"Okay, if you're sure. I'll tell her tonight so expect a phone call from a very sorry Aimee."

"I can deal with that...Okay, I think I'm good to go back now, thanks for the pep talk, I-I really needed that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 9 more chapters of actual story then the alternate version of events I wrote in the middle of writing this story to try and shake off the writer’s block and this fic will officially be complete!
> 
> Thanks for reading, more emotional boys next chapter, and my own views pouring in at one point because apparently I was extra irritated when I was writing it. You’ll probably see where I start falling into my own opinions so pleaseeeee tell me if it’s too much or seems too out of character and I’ll fix it, I want this to be as enjoyable for you to read as it is for me to write <3


	12. James Dean and Marlon Brando

It wasn't until around 5pm when Ryan got a phone call from Jace in the middle of doing his calc homework.

"What's up? I'm doing Mr Clayton's homework and it's due tomorrow so whatever it is please say it's quick" Jace laughed over the line and whispered something before he actually spoke.

"Sorry, should be quick, I've just told Aims that you're in no way straight and she's freaking out, she couldn't wait until tomorrow to say sorry. Can I pass you over?" Ryan put his phone on speaker so he could at least try and do his work and gave Jace the all clear to pass the phone over.

"I'm so sorry! I'm really, really sorry, it wasn't fair to assume like I did and now I feel like I just made everything worse for you and I'm just-I'm really sorry." She spoke so fast Ryan almost didn't catch what she said but when his brain managed to put it together a little slower he couldn't help but laugh, putting down his pencil being as it was clear his work wasn't getting done until this was sorted.

"Aimee it's fine, really. I didn't even come to terms with it until like 2 months ago now I think it is, maybe 3? It's no big deal, it's not like you've been taking the p¡ss about my sexuality, you just assumed I was taking advantage of people and I kinda don't blame you, there's a lot of media where the 'loner' types are players and treat women badly but even if I wasn't gay, I hope you know I wouldn't manipulate or hurt a girl like that." 

There was quiet on the line as only a few whispers made their way through until finally Jace's voice filtered through again.

"She's really upset with herself, she feels really bad because she's not sure she'd have believed that if she didn't know you're gay and she's working herself up over it."

"Put her back on" there was a few moments of silence and when Ryan was sure that the phone had been passed he started talking again. "Look, you don't need to work yourself up about this Aims, I know surely at some point you'd have realized that I'm still that guy that you grew up with, we might not have been friends this whole time but you knew of me when we were like 6 and you definitely saw me do some stupid sh¡t with Ace, you know really that I'm still that stupid kid that thought for sure he'd grow up to be a superhero, I just grew up and decided most people really aren't my thing" he laughed and spun the pencil on his notepad for something to do.

"I seriously don't care about what you thought I was like because, honestly? Everything I thought I was like has been one huge fcking lie that I told myself and it'd be stupid to care about you telling people I'm a player and not liking me because of things you had no real proof of because I've been telling people I'm straight my whole life and going out with girls because they wanted to not because I was particularly attracted to them. Can we just agree to leave that sh¡t here and move on without it?"

"Yeah, that-that sounds good, would it be too much to hug you tomorrow? It's just how I always end an argument with my family or Jace and you're like basically his brother so..."

"Uh, sure, I guess? Might want to make sure Jace is there with us though because I'm not out to everyone and you know how fast rumors spread about anyone on the team, by lunch everyone will think you're cheating on him with his best friend just because we hugged once"

"Gotcha, Jace is driving me to school tomorrow anyway so we should be together all day. Is it weird that I'm really excited now? I feel like I've kinda shut myself out of a huge part of Jace's life and now I get to be a part of it and I'm just really happy"

"Baby, stop being mushy and gushing to Ry I'm sure he's feeling awkward enough" it was faint but Ryan just about heard it.

"Right, Sorry, see you tomorrow Ryan!"

"Bye Aims, See you guys tomorrow. Don't go making babies you two, we don't need any more drama right now. Byeee" he joked, hanging up before they could defend themselves. 

It was another hour before he finished his homework but it was finally out of the way and he just wanted to go to sleep. He was so tired he didn't even care if he had to take a pre-dinner nap like 2 year old but what he did care about was his phone buzzing beside him with another phone call that made his desk shake a little.

Ryan almost declined it until he saw the contact name and accepted it with a tired smile, his eyes closed as he accepted and held the phone up to his ear to just listen and wind down.

"Hey, quick question, do you like my hair color? My papà keeps making jokes that people don't like gingers and I just want to see if he's right" Leo rushed out, doing anything but helping Ryan wind down as he'd hoped.

"Babe, just slow down for a second, yeah?" Hearing the tiredness of his voice Leo paused and took a breath to calm his self-conscious worrying.

"Yeah, Sorry, are you alright? You sound kinda run down"

"I'm just tired, think running after you in practice was a bad idea, I don't have anywhere near the stamina you do and I'm paying the price for it. What about you Pumpkin? Are you really that worried about your hair?" Leo blushed on the other end of the line and was suddenly very grateful he hadn't decided to FaceTime Ryan.

"Kinda? I don't know, you just hear so many things about gingers and then there's the jokes and my own dad pointing it out just made me a little worried that maybe I'm not likable or attractive, I don't want people to just not like me because I'm ginger, and I don't want you to not like me because of it either" Leo didn't sound awfully self-conscious to most people, he tried so hard to be confident and out going, but he was so worried that people wouldn't like him and it was always there in the back of his mind. Until now only his parents and Amanda had seen this side of him but he felt sure enough that his insecurities were safe with Ryan to let himin on that side too.

"Leo, babe, you need to remember, I found you so attractive it flung me into a gay crisis. If I didn't like everything about you, I highly doubt I would have been catapulted into a life changing realization. I like your hair, I like your freckles, I like the way your freckles contrast with your skin and everything else ginger-y about you, okay? Because it's all you and I don't know if I've said it enough or made it clear enough but I _really_ like you just the way you are."

"Okay, I guess you're right, I hadn't really thought about it like that, I just assumed you just liked my personality"

"I do like your personality, Pumpkin, doesn't mean I don't think you're handsome too though. You're a very pretty boy, babe." Ryan did not expect the little squeak Leo let out, it was quite possibly the cutest sound he'd ever heard a human make and the smile that tugged at his lips was unavoidable.

"You okay there, _pretty boy_?" Leo whined and Ryan laughed at his expense.

"Ryaaaan, don't make fun of meee! I didn't expect you to say that!"

"Hey, if you're allowed to bend at the fcking waist to tie your shoes in the locker room then I'm allowed to tease you with this."

"So what if I bend at the waist? It helps me stretch my hamstrings!"Leo argued with a childish 'humph' at the end.

"Babe, you deliberately face the opposite way from me so I get a full view of your @ss, every time." He chuckled and Ro just so happened to walk past which made him blush a little but he focused in on Leo's voice.

"Okay so _maybe_ I like seeing how you react too, but I really did start doing it to stretch, when I noticed you looking I started seeing how far I could go before you'd ask what I was doing... to be fair, you're just always a distraction and I have a short attention span so it's even worse for me."

"I distract you? When?" Leo fiddled with the corner of his bed sheets trying to think of a regular thing Ryan did that distracted him rather than a bunch of little random things.

"A lot. Whenever you even start to smile I have to stop myself from looking when we're at school because I know I must look like a lovesick puppy, you're just so cute! Then when we're getting changed for practice I feel my soul leave my body when you take your shirt off, you're just so freakin' hot, like how? Even the heart on your hip can't overpower the hot with the cute, it's actually torture"

There was silence on the line, Ryan had seemingly shut down at Leo's overflowing affection for him but when he got no response instead of waiting, Leo just carried on.

"And I'm always getting distracted in class because I wonder what you're doing or if you're okay or what we can do after school, some days I want to be really clingy and jump on you as soon as I see you but I can't. Some days I get to the cafeteria and just want to turn back, find your classroom and get you to hide under the stairs with me so I can have a hug because believe it or not you give such nice hugs, they're not too tight or too loose, you don't dig your chin into my shoulder like Amanda tends to, you do that thing where you can't keep still for like 5 seconds so you start rubbing your thumbs up and down in little windshield wiper motions and it's actually really soothing, plus you smell really nice and your chest is always warm so I can just snuggle up under your chin... aaaand now I really want a cuddle." He laughed while Ryan tried desperately to tame his blushing cheeks, embarrassed by the effect a few compliments had on him.

Of course his mom chose that moment to come in and tell him that dinner was ready, while he was a red blushing mess.

"Dinner's ready, Ry- oh, is that Leo on the phone? Ask him if he wants to come over for dinner tomorrow!" She smiled and clapped her hands excitedly.

"Uh, mom's asking if you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?"

"Depends, will I get one of those hugs?" Leo teased and somehow Ryan felt his cheeks get even hotter.

"Yeah, if you still want one by then"

"Oh, trust me, I will. I'm not gonna pass up a chance to cuddle. I'm in, tell your mom I'd love to and I'll see you tomorrow, okay Captain?"

"Okay, and if you feel like going under the stairs at school just do it, I'm not gonna protest it. See you tomorrow Leo"

When Ryan hung up his mom had sat on his bed and was giving him a soft, proud smile which made him want to curl up in an embarrassed little ball and hide.

"Mooom" he whined and hid his face in his hands while his mom shuffled closer and hugged her son, the smile never leaving her face.

"Don't 'Mooom' me, I'm happy that my baby is happy, I haven't seen you like this ever, it's good to see you smiling because of something outside of football."

Ryan never was really able to resist a hug so he ended up wrapping his arms around his mom and lying on her shoulder like a little kid. "I told Jace today" 

"Hmm? How did he take it?"

"Pretty good, he kept telling me to stop staring at Leo just to mess with me, I wasn't staring."

"Sure you weren't Ry, anyway, c'mon, I made pasta, like I actually _made_ fresh pasta and it's going cold!"

"Did dad get you another book you wanted and you're saying thank you with food again?"

"Maybe..."

Dinner was a nightmare of being teased mercilessly by his family after Clara told Ro and his dad how blushy he'd been when she'd walked in earlier. Try as he might to defend himself his dad and sister were relentless and by the time he'd finished eating he'd been told to use a condom and not have phone sex at least 3 times.

"So when is he coming over for dinner so I can make fun of you with him?" Rosalie quizzed, making her eyebrows bounce up and down a couple of times while messily shoving pasta into her mouth.

"He's coming over tomorrow night isn't he Ry? It's going to be lovely to actually talk to him instead of you whisking him off to your room before your father and I get a word in!"

"Mom, he's a teenage boy what do you think he wants to do? I don't think he really wants to talk to his mom before doing that" Ro teased, oil from the pasta all around her mouth as Clara nodded at her with a clearly forced smile, her eyes focused on the proof of her daughter's messy table etiquette, clearly unpleased with it.

"Wipe your face Rosalie, sweetheart, I know I say you're my little girl still but you're not a baby." Reluctantly she did as told...using her hoodie sleeve which her mom honestly should have seen coming but simply sighed.

"So what _do_ you do up in your room with him honey? I know your father and sister joke but do I need to worry?" Ryan swallowed a mouthful of pasta and took a sip of his water before responding and when he did he could see Ro making kissy faces behind their Mom's back just to mock him.

"We talk, sometimes I play video games and he likes to watch, we just do normal stuff, so no, you don't need to worry Mom."

"You forgot the half naked cuddling" that earned Rosalie a glare that would probably burn through her if she looked back long enough.

"He was warm and I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable by being fully clothed when he wasn't, besides, a shirt off is hardly anywhere near nude for a guy!" He knew the occasion she was talking about and he could admit that it looked a little questionable but they truly had been too warm but still wanted to cuddle and implying it was anything but innocent took away from the sweetness of the memory.

"Yeah but when he's got his pants off and you're shirtless, you're basically half nude"

Jim looked at his son wide eyed but stayed quiet having promised he trusted Ryan after snooping on him and Leo one too many times in their first month together and being berated by both his son and wife for it.

"Hey! Don't try and frame it like that, he's not comfortable with taking his shirt off unless he's changing, he's got some insecurities about his body so if you could, y'know, not bring that up when he comes over that'd be appreciated, I don't want him to be uncomfortable." The family stopped, forks stopped clinking against plates and eyes widened far too dramatically for Ryan's liking. "What?" He asked, looking between them all.

His mom shook her head a little and resumed eating as though nothing had happened "Hmm? Nothing."

"This is so unfair! How come you get the boyfriend and the cute mushy emotions and I get college guys who act like they're actually 14!" Rosalie whined.

"You don't seem to mind when you're video calling them" Ryan smirked as his sister returned his earlier piercing glare. "Nah, but seriously, I just got lucky, you'll find a guy that has more brains than d¡ck some time." He joked and watched the small smile lift her lips.

"Do you think I should leave guys behind?"

"Don't be silly Ro sweetheart, you're as straight as a can be. I remember when you were little, you'd kiss every boy in kindergarten hoping he'd be a prince and when that didn't work you tried climbing trees and getting yourself in trouble hoping a superhero would save you and you'd fall in love with him. You, daughter dearest, are very much straight from what I've seen. If you're not I'll be very surprised but you know I'll support you, Ryan I always knew was _at least_ bisexual but you Hun, I'm pretty sure you're straight."

Both kids whined at their mother's analysis of them both as children "I meant give relationships a break not try and somehow change my whole sexuality, mom." Both children looked at their dad for a little help but it was no use.

"Don't look at me kids, I didn't even consider Ry could be gay, your mom has been trying to figure you two out and look deep into whatever you say since you were in diapers, while I was trying not to drop you." Their mom preened, smiling to herself at her mostly correct deductions.

"I want to know my kids, I don't snoop like you do, Jim" she gave her husband a pointed look and he in turn flickered his eyes towards Ryan then down to his food in shame but Ryan nudged his dad with a small smile.

"S'okay dad, mom's no saint either, I know you tried to get into my laptop mom, it takes a photo after 3 wrong password attempts." He raised a brow at his now embarrassed mother and Rosalie tried not to laugh as her mom's pride quickly got cut down to size. 

"I was checking! I don't want my baby boy watching porn and I hear an awful lot of moaning and groaning coming from down the hall. You're not watching porn are you? Please say you're not, I do not approve of that industry!"

"No! Mom, I put a password on my laptop because I didn't want anyone snooping through my stuff."

"What 'stuff' though? What can't we know?" She whined as though she were a teenager rather than a mother to one.

Ryan rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"If you really have to know, I upload all the photos I take on my phone to that laptop, I upload all my notes to that laptop, all of that sh¡t is on there. Some of those photos are for my eyes and the people they're of only, they're embarrassing, pretty much all my friends have a dumb photo file and usually we only use them if we get on each other's nerves. We both share a photo, we both laugh at each other looking completely ridiculous and we get over whatever the hell we were mad about in the first place. If someone else got them and shared them then everyone would come for me and I do not need that sh¡t."

His mom looked utterly confused, Ro was looking like she was considering the whole thing and eventually decided her pasta was more interesting, and their dad had been completely tuning out of the conversation since Clara brought up porn at the table.

"Wait, so you and your friends get in arguments and fix it by embarrassing one another?"

"Well, yeah. It's kinda like the whole mutual destruction thing," he shrugged and stabbed a few more pieces of pasta "if we want to pick fights and play with fire with each other we have to know that we'll both get burnt for it. Knocks us down a peg or two when we start getting unfoundedly confident. It's worked so far. I even have a couple of Leo but I doubt I'll need them, he's more of a heart on his sleeve kind of guy and I don't want to hurt him." he shovelled the pasta in his mouth and silently hoped his mom would leave it at that.

His mom Aw'd at that but still managed to look confused. "So if you don't want to hurt him why keep the photos?"

Ryan felt his cheeks and ears start to heat up and he swallowed down the pasta faster than his body would've liked, forcing him to clear his throat and take a sip of water, his nerves about showing his emotions on his sleeve were clearly getting to him. "Honestly? They're not even embarrassing really, I-Uh- I think they're cute but he hated them for some reason. I tried to get him to let me take better ones but he didn't want me to end up taking worse ones and refusing to delete them. I'd delete them if I thought they were as bad as he says but he just doesn't see it I guess."

After finally finishing dinner without any more interrogation, Ryan went back up to his room to text Leo for a while before he went to sleep but Ro had different plans it seemed being as she jumped on the end of his bed just as he'd sent his first message.

"So, little bro, what's really on your laptop? Wank bank? Dealer's number? D¡ck pics?"

"Ro, it's really just photos and notes." He sighed, even more tired than he had been when Leo first called him before dinner.

"Pictures of what though, can't just be your friends, surely you're not that dull bro, c'mon! I need drama here!" He shuffled down his bed to lie beside her and after a couple of moments of silence he leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"It's none of your fcking business"

The denial to give in to what she wanted made Ro whine like a child but Ryan was too preoccupied with a reply from Leo to listen, that was until she stole his phone and started reading their short back and forth aloud.

"'Tomorrow dinner is gonna be hell, hope you're ready, Pumpkin' Awh, how sappy of you Ry. 'It'll be fiiiine, I've just got to show your mom and dad I'm not bad for you, we'll be fine, call me if you're still worried okay Babe?' Ugh, why do you two not talk about anything interesting? Let's see..." she started to scroll and Ryan tried his best to snatch his phone back but after years of doing this, Ro knew exactly how to avoid him actually getting it.

"Ooo, 'did you know James Dean had sex with Marlon Brando? Two ladies man types together, seems like a real plot twist, I wonder if they were bi or just bored. Anyway that's all I learnt today (crying laughing face)' was that a hint I see?" She looked away from the screen to wiggle her brows at her brother "Who would've thought Leo would make the first move, what did you say?...'no I didn't know that babe, question is, why do you know that?' Ugh boring. Blah blah blah, 'I was trying to find gay guys who were really masculine and the public overlooked or assumed their sexuality so you can relate to them, there's a bunch of openly bi people but not that many in a similar position to you... are you mad?' Awh, cute. I like your boyfriend, he's actually adorable."

"I know" Ryan huffed having given up trying to get his phone back, knowing she wouldn't stop reading until she found something or got bored.

"'I'm not mad, Pumpkin, that's really sweet of you, but I'd rather not be compared to either of them, Brando played toxic roles in at least some his movies I remember seeing and James Dean idolized him so I don't think he was much different. You deserve better than either of them, and me really but you stick around for some reason.'" Ro slowed as she read the last sentence and looked over to her brother again who was staring at his hands as he interlocked them then loosened them finger by finger repeatedly.

She continued, reading the large, ranting paragraph Leo had written in response, clearly on a mission to get his point across. "'I don't deserve anything more than basic human decency and respect, you give me so much more than I need and I feel spoilt sometimes because you're just so good to me. In the past month you have made me feel more cared for than I have ever felt in a relationship, you have put up with my random daydreaming and weird thoughts that I just blurt out, and you even have the patience to act like you're interested in any of those dumb things I say. You have your problems but I'm not perfect either and I don't deserve someone perfect, we're only human and as a human I can proudly say the guy I'm dating is one of my favorite humans and I'm so happy with him.

"I haven't told anyone this, not even my mamma, and you know I tell her everything, but since we've been dating my grades have actually gone up and I've been so much happier. I used to have to go on midnight runs then eat a ton before I went to bed, just to clear my head because it always feels so messy up there but I don't have to do that anymore, I can talk to you and it actually helps, it never did when my mamma asked me to talk to her instead of running but it worked with you and my body is reaping the benefits. I don't run so much so I can keep the weight on a little easier and because of training I'm getting a little muscle mass!You do that for me, whether you realize it or not you make my life better and I am a better person for being with you, that little thing in my mind that won't stop at night loves you so much it'll stop to listen to you when you tell me I should get some sleep or I should forget about my homework for a while and just take a break. You are so much more than I deserve and my only worry is I'm not enough for you in return. You are enough Ryan West, more than enough.' Woah..." Rosalie looked up from the phone to find Ryan with his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking and his breaths uneven. "Ry? Oh sh¡t, Ry, I'm sorry"

"I just forgot he said part of him loves me, it just- it caught me off guard is all... fck, I genuinely think I'm actually starting to fall in love with him and it's been less than 2 months Ro! What am I supposed to do? He's coming over for dinner tomorrow and I'm here freaking out like a little kid!" She thrust the phone back into his hands and looked him in the eye with all the seriousness she could muster.

"We know he's good for you Ryan, we can all see it even if what we see of you two together is a few brief moments before you hide away in here but we know he makes you happy and we don't want to do anything that will drive him away from you. Tomorrow will be fine, he'll come over, we'll pretend to have a serious talk about hurting you and how dad will gut him like a fish if he does, then Leo will crack some joke or I will and we'll have a good time okay? We want you to be with him, we want you to be happy all the time like you have been this past month or so. I want you to have a boyfriend and feel good about your sexuality and I will do everything I can to make tomorrow night run smoothly for you two, I might be annoying but I'm not a complete d¡ck" she joked and he laughed pulling her in for a hug that immediately made him feel that much better as he mumbled his thanks into her shoulder.

All night Ryan was restless, thinking about the next day, he was both excited and nervous and by the time he got to sleep it was already morning. His dreams were a tangled mess of Leo either holding him and kissing his cheeks or walking away from him with a passive face, his subconscious unsure of how the day was going to pan out but all of that was forgotten the moment his alarm went off and he groaned, prying his eyes open. Today was going to be good no matter what, at least that's what he told himself as he quickly showered and brushed his teeth.

Leo was surprisingly excitable as he walked through the front doors into the crowd of bustling students. He was excited about his dinner with Ryan and his family, he knew he should be nervous, he should be panicking about what they'd think but his mind clung to that day that Ryan had told him that he had told his parents about his sexuality and how calm they'd been about it, plus Rosie's playful teasing and he couldn't help but feel it would be fun even if he was still nervous about not making himself look like a total idiot.

During first period Leo's phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, careful not to be too obvious about it to see what it was.

**Handsome** ♥️: you still up for tonight?

He smiled down at the phone in his lap, texting back that he couldn't wait and looked up to at least pretend he was listening to the drab PowerPoint presentation his teacher was giving.

**Handsome** ♥️: I'm really nervous...

 **Handsome** ♥️: I really want it to go well but I think I'm just worried that my dad will say something stupid and I'll get in a bad mood over it

This time when Leo checked his phone his brows furrowed as he frowned down at his lap.

**Pumpkin** 🧡: babe, even if something stupid is said I'll be right beside you, you know I don't like it when you get upset so I'll do whatever I can to make you happy, this is no different.

 **Pumpkin** 🧡: just because it's a dinner with your family doesn't mean I won't be paying attention to how you feel, if you're not happy then I won't be either so you better believe I'll get you smiling ASAP even if your dad says something you don't like ok?

A few moments passed and Leo stared at the three dots, waiting for Ryan's response whatever it was, hoping he'd put the other boy at ease.

**Handsome** ♥️: you are the best, you know that? 

**Handsome** ♥️: sorry that took so long, Jace wouldn't stop teasing me because I was smiling at my phone.

**Pumpkin** 🧡: you're adorable

 **Pumpkin** 🧡: I'll see you at lunch, save me a space?

**Handsome** ♥️: yeah, see you then if I don't get mocked to death by Ace

**Pumpkin** 🧡: stop making fun of my kinda-boyfriend Jace, I know you're reading this, don't make me tell Aimee what you said at practice yesterday

**Handsome** ♥️: what'd I say?

**Pumpkin** 🧡: 1) you bragging about sex, 2) what she moaned during it.

**Handsome** ♥️: no! Don't! I'll stoooop

**Pumpkin** 🧡: that's what I thought.

 **Pumpkin** 🧡: see you in a couple hours babe, check your snap chat if you get bored ;)

Jace passed the phone back to Ryan with a smirk watching as Ryan's cheeks heated up to a soft pink color. "Check it" Jace nudged him trying to get him to look but Ryan wouldn't budge and shoved his phone back into his pocket, giving him a firm 'no' as he did so.

By third period Ryan was officially bored with no close friends in his class to talk to or joke with and gave in to looking at his snap chat. He went to their chat and opened the snaps Leo had sent earlier to be greeted with Leo's smiling face from a weird angle that was clearly taken from under the table or at least in his lap but it was cute even with the strange angle. The next photo was sent later, probably as he was walking between classes as there were people in the background walking around, he was still smiling and it made Ryan's chest tighten and his stomach flutter.

The final photo was clearly taken in the boy's bathroom and the time stamp was only a minute before he'd opened it with the caption 'hope you see these soon because now I'm the one who's bored😂 x' this time he was looking away from the camera with a bashful, yet somewhat flirty, smile and rosy cheeks.

Ryan immediately messaged him back.

**Handsome** ❤️: You still out of class??

**Pumpkin** 🧡: Just about to go back, why?

**Handsome** ❤️: Wait for me?

**Pumpkin** 🧡: Sure x

It was barely a minute later when Ryan opened the door to the toilets, "Leo?" One of the stalls suddenly unlocked and Leo stepped out with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, someone came in and I didn't want to just stand here while they peed" he shuffled his feet in embarrassment but Ryan brushed off the awkwardness and opened his arms for Leo to walk into.

"S'okay" he sighed as Leo hugged him, "missed you."

"You still worried about tonight?"

"Not as much as earlier, just feel really clingy now" He sounded tired and Leo pulled back to see his face again seeing subtle dark circles and his eyelids blinking slower than usual.

"Babe, did you get any sleep last night?"

"Hmm? I got like 4 hours? I was anxious about today. It's not the first time, don't worry, just hug, we've got to get back soon" reluctantly Leo dropped the subject and nuzzled his head back into Ryan's neck, kissing him gently.

"I told you to call me if you were still worried"

"I know, I just didn't want to bug you at midnight." He sighed and pulled away knowing they had to get back. "See you at lunch?"

"Yep, want a kiss before we go?" Ryan blushed and pulled Leo back in by the waist with a lazy smile.

"We're being reckless again" he hummed and Leo backed him into one of the stalls pushing the door shut with his foot behind him.

"Better?" Leo smiled and pecked Ryan's lips, encouraging him to chase his lips for a proper kiss which led to him being pinned against the door and kissed to within an inch of his life before they finally parted and went back to class.

Amanda smirked and nudged Leo when he returned with rosy cheeks and reddened lips, particularly his bottom lip which Ryan had taken to nipping at when he wanted to deepen the kiss or if he was reluctant to pull away but had to, both of which had happened only moments earlier.

"I wondered what was taking you so long to pee" she chuckled and Leo sighed almost dreamily.

"I was gonna come back straight away but Ryan texted me and then I ended up pinned to a door" he summarised simply as though it was entirely normal for him to have a make out session in the toilets in the middle of class.

"You two are actually gross, in the toilets? Really? You always tell me the guys toilets stink."

"They do, but Ryan doesn't so when he's close enough I can smell his cologne instead. Yeah the toilets still reek but I wasn't exactly focused on the smell" he shrugged and mindlessly toyed with his lower lip, the feeling of Ryan's lips on his still buzzing on his nerve endings like a phantom kiss.

Amanda knew she'd lost him the second he started smiling down at his paper and decided she'd tease him about his little adventure later when he wasn't off in his own head, reliving the touches he'd felt, committing each sensation to memory.

The day seemed to pass by fast as Leo looked forward to dinner at Ryan's, soon enough all he had to do was get through practice and then he'd soon be sat at the dinner table beside Ryan, joking with his sister.

However, he realized later that getting through practice was harder than Leo had anticipated. They were going through drills which meant Leo had to focus on everything going on around him but it was hard when his mind kept wandering to Ryan and the dinner and the nervous knot that had only just decided to tie itselfup in his stomach. He screwed up a few times, much to the frustration of the rest of the team, and barely half an hour in he felt like crying because he just couldn't concentrate for the life of him.

"Boys, take a water break while I talk to Leo" Ryan ordered and the guys gladly walked off to the bleachers to do as told.

Ryan's face held signs of tiredness, his eyes still droopy with dark circles threatening to make themselves known and Leo immediately felt bad for making this harder for him. "I'm sorry Ryan, I just can't concentrate! I've been fine all day about dinner, excited even, but now I'm getting nervous and my mind won't stop showing me everything I could do wrong and I'm freaking out a little because I don't think I've prepared enough for this and your parents are gonna hate me because I have no filter and I'm ginger and I'm small and they'll think I'm more trouble than I'm worth and-and then you'll see it too and I was so happy this morning but now I feel like crap and I just want to hide in a hole!"

He hardly took a breath that whole time and Ryan was both impressed by how much he could say on so little air and worried about Leo's self-deprecating concerns.

"Leo, listen to me, they won't hate you, they're going to love you so much. I'm nervous too but we'll be there for each other and Ro has our backs, she really likes you and she's going to do whatever she can to make tonight go smoothly, all you've got to do is be there, sit next to me, and be yourself, okay? Can you get through the rest of practice and focus just for a little while? For me?" That last part was his greatest motivation as he nodded, if he couldn't concentrate for himself, he knew the extra pressure and responsibility of doing it for Ryan would force his brain to do as told and focus on the task at hand.

Sure enough the rest of practice ran without a hitch and on the way back to the locker rooms Ryan checked no one was watching then kissed Leo's head, an arm slung over his shoulders acting like they were two old friends.

"You did great Pumpkin, thank you, I know football doesn't always keep your attention"

"Helps that my motivation is on the field with me, it's a blessing and a curse though, you're a major distraction, Captain" Ryan blushed and squeezed his shoulder before pulling away.

"Says you, I haven't been able to concentrate all day, first the texts, then that kiss, how am I supposed to work after that? C'mon, the sooner we get changed and out of here the sooner you get that hug I promised" he persuaded and Leo smiled brightly then sprinted for the locker room calling dibs on the best shower.

"You're sure this is okay? I feel like I don't look as good as you did when you met my parents" Leo quizzed as he looked down at his blue jeans, rolled up at the ankles feeling like they were far too casual looking.

"I think you look handsome, the planet pin is a nice touch" Leo looked down to the pocket of the shirt he'd put atop his T-shirt, the simple pin along with two others reflecting in the daylight. It was a sneaky pin really, a mystical looking planet that just so happened to have the colors of the bi flag in a gradient from top to bottom. Honestly he didn't think anyone, even Ryan, would pick up on it, but it was a welcome surprise to know that he'd figured it out.

"Thanks, I was just gonna stick with just the gold star and the moon in a potion bottle ones but I saw it at the back of my desk drawer and thought I'd put it on too, even if the color scheme doesn't really make sense with the others"

"I like it" Ryan hummed as he glanced over to his right, he wanted to take Leo in and all of his cuteness but he had to focus on not crashing the car.

Leo noticed his little struggle and laughed lightly before putting his hand out in the center console for Ryan to take in his, hoping it would stop him getting distracted.

Ryan linked their fingers happily and lifted their hands to kiss the back of Leo's before lowering them to the center console again with a smile on his face that Leo swore melted his nerves away almost entirely.

Ryan stopped humming absently to the radio when it stopped along with the engine "Do you think anyone's looking out their window? I really want to walk in with you properly." Leo shrugged then squeezed the older boy’s hand with a sympathetic smile.

"Best to be cautious, you can walk me into the living room once we're inside if you want?" With a disgruntled groan he agreed and detangled his hand from Leo's mumbling about how he was more likely to come out just because he wanted a hug than because he was ready.

The pair walked inside like they were nothing more than friends but the moment the door was closed behind them Ryan took Leo's hand again, looking relieved to have it back in his own. "Ready for the madness?"

Leo didn't answer immediately, instead opting for a hug first "okay, I think I'm ready now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiyaaa, so I’ve got a cold so I haven’t felt great and as a result this chapter felt like it took forever to edit because I kept falling asleep mid edit so I’m sorry if there’s anything that doesn’t quite make sense but it’s heeeere! 
> 
> Next chapter shows more of how Ryan’s family interact with one another and yet again more emotional Ryan, you know by now that I love making these boys so soft and emotional and generally fluffy <3
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! :)


	13. Breaking Faces and Period Pains

Ryan led Leo into the living room where Ro was finishing up a zoom meeting with one of her professors about a dissertation and they immediately sat either side of her, making faces to each other, trying to put her off.

"Sorry Greg, my brother and his boyfriend are being d¡cks off camera" Ro glared at Ryan only for her professor to chuckle and turn his laptop to show his wife who was now blushing like mad.

"Cath was trying to distract me with Pinterest pictures on her phone too, I like to think people get under our skin sometimes because they love us Rosalie" he turned the camera back to himself and witnessed Leo and Ryan's joint attempt to both embarrass her and show her that her professor was right as they both laid their heads on her shoulders and waved to him before sitting up again.

"I can see you're not going to get any more done for now but hopefully it's a little clearer now, good luck with your brother and his boyfriend"

"Thanks Greg, good luck marking assignments with your wife" Ro laughed and ended the call before swiftly sticking her middle fingers up at both boys as she slouched back into the puffy cushions of their couch. "No wonder you two @ssholes are together, I was actually trying with college and you do that!" She huffed and Leo frowned as he hugged her apologetically.

"Sorry Rosie, I'm nervous, I don't know his excuse" he giggled looking over at Ryan with a cheeky grin.

"Hey! Don't throw me under the bus, freckles!" Ryan pretended to be mad and lunged over his sister to push Leo flat onto the couch and tickle him.

"Get off me! I don't want to be in the middle of your sexual tension fest!"

"Shut up Ro there's no sexual tension" Ryan huffed which only made his sister smirk, whenever he denied something so quickly and so strongly she knew there was at least a hint of truth.

"Uh yeah there is, you want to fck him, not that hard to see." Ryan moved back so he was no longer leaning over Ro's lap to get to Leo and sighed.

"I told you, that's not happening until we're ready and I understand all that it involves, besides, I'm kinda really loving not feeling like I have to have sex to be in a relationship. You don't mind holding off do you, Pumpkin?"

"Nah, it's actually really good to know you're not someone who would just dive in without knowing what you're doing, plus you feeling your way though kissing and stuff is so cute and I'm not ready to get past that stage yet either." The pair were smiling like a couple of lovestruck fools when Rosalie groaned and pushed up of the couch, breaking their happy little bubble.

"This mushy stuff better calm down when you two actually fck, I can't take _this_ for the rest of my life!" She pointed between them then flopped down into the armchair not far away but far enough that she definitely wouldn't end up in the middle of their antics again.

She loved her brother, and she loved that he was happy but she couldn't stand their constant need to cuddle and kiss and tease each other, it made more sense to her to save those things for later and just fck around until she found someone she liked and they stayed together, no point being with someone and waiting only to find out their a crappy lay, right?

This philosophy was not one the siblings shared and so to make his opinion clear Ryan pulled Leo into his lap and kissed his jaw "so you don't like mushy stuff, but you told me not long ago you want a relationship like ours? I'm confused" Leo asked innocently as if Ryan weren't kissing anywhere he could while his parents were still at work.

"I want a relationship where a guy actually cares about me like you guys do each other but in case you haven't noticed Lilo, I'm not exactly the mushy type. I'd rather have sex if I'm not in a relationship than just wait around for someone who's 'nice', especially if this 'nice' guy can't fck a girl to save his life."

"Oh. Wait, so does it bother you when I hug you if you're not the mushy type? Because I'm a hugger and I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Leo brushed off all the sexual stuff much easier than Rosalie had expected and jumped straight in to focus on her comfort rather than judging her methods of finding a boyfriend which was refreshing really.

"Nah, I'm not a big hugger but if it's family or a good friend I don't mind. It's mainly like people who are sort of my friends but not really that get on my nerves. I've been fine with you since before you guys were together and you said you wouldn't top my brother" she laughed as Ryan halted his trail of kisses with an almost inaudible whine in the back of his throat and Leo took one of his hands from around his waist to squeeze.

"Something you want to tell me handsome?" He hummed lowly.

"Shh, she'll never let it go, but I wouldn't mind... if-if you wouldn't mind either that is. Never know if you never try, right?" He whispered in return, a kiss punctuating his question as Ro watched without being able to hear what they were saying.

"I don't mind a little testing, we'll figure it out when we get there. Think we need to work up to that, don't you?" Leo wiggled a little, almost unnoticeably in Ryan's lap and felt his arms tense around him.

"Leo" he warned in a grumbled whisper but Leo just laughed as if he'd been told a joke and turned sideways in Ryan's lap to face Ro better and to lay his head on Ryan's shoulder.

"You're too easy, I promise I'll behave, can't have you popping a boner when your parents could walk in whenever" he hummed nonchalantly and laid his head down calmly before finally speaking up again.

"I said it then and I'm saying it again, I would if he asked nicely. Anyway, back to hugs, why don't you like them from a partner? Like is it just that you'd rather just have sex or is it that sex and intimacy together are a no-no for you? I'm just curious, you don't have to answer if you don't want to" he quickly fixed his question, realizing it was pretty personal and possibly a touchy subject but Rosalie soon extinguished his worries.

"If you get all mushy and cuddly with a guy they start thinking they own you, they start getting possessive and weird about everything as if you owe them loyalty or something after one good lay and some light aftercare. I just don't want to get tagged as someone's play thing when I'm my own person and what I do with what's between my legs is my concern and none of their business. If I ever find a guy who will fck me, take care of me afterwards and still not act like they're entitled to me after at least like a month then I'll probably date him but until I find someone who doesn't see me as an object I'm happy to be with a few guys I trust to make me feel good but don't trust enough to let them stay after sex is over." She shrugged while Ryan distracted himself from the details of his sister's sexual escapades by counting the freckles from Leo's jaw to the collar of his shirt and running his thumb over his waist, having sneaked his hand under the ginger's T-shirt the minute he'd stopped kissing him, still craving the touch.

"Huh, guess that makes sense, ever thought of getting to know one of these guys better so you trust them more?"

"Ugh, I tried once and he just became such a douche, he told the other two guys I'd been with that I'd chosen him and that they could fck off but I got so mad at him that I dropped him like a hot potato and fcked both the other guys the same week. Why are guys such d¡cks? No offense to you two but your sex is kinda infuriating and bad at sex" she chuckled and swung her legs up over the arm of the chair to get more comfortable.

"Can't say about the personality apart from socialization but the lack of skill in sex is pretty simple to explain" Leo grinned, he loved to share what little facts he had acquired, it made him feel intelligent when half the time he couldn't help but feel like he wasn't far off becoming a meme.

While he loved feeling funny and quirky, being smart was something he'd always aspired to be as a little kid, he thought that being smart was cool and soon found out that the social sphere around him disagreed pretty much entirely but he couldn't just give up learning more random little things, the randomization helped him not to be so bullied about being a nerd as his knowledge was more spread out but the stars were always a weakness he couldn't refuse, no one else needed to know that though.

"Basically-" he sat up straight, ruining Ryan's freckle count with the movement but he didn't mind all that much as he started to look for shapes and faces in them instead of tediously counting each orange/brown freckle.

"I think that the reason so many guys suck at sex is because they're improperly informed about the female body. Guys seem to have come up with this lie that there's a magical g-spot that if they just find they'll blow a girl's mind. A lot of guys don't really recognize that it's just a porn thing or that the real thing they're looking for to make a girl feel good is literally right there and they'd rather just have an excuse to mindlessly thrust into a girl pretending to search for something that isn't there than actually make a girl feel good. Seriously, the clit is right there, boobs are sensitive too, thighs are surprisingly sensitive and I didn't have a clue until Cheater McBaby-blamer and I were together and I was tracing the patterns on her leggings on her thighs and she would not stop squirming. Seriously, all we get told in sex Ed is wear a condom and the vagina is a hole in the general crotch area, 'you'll figure it out'. Some people still don't wear a condom though so some guys literally take nothing from sex Ed and everything from porn. So there's that.

"I only know as much as I do because I have an amazing best friend who will literally answer any question I ask as best she can or force me to research it myself just so I get to explain it back to her because she says since I love talking so much I may as well teach her something instead of spouting garbage, the latter still happens but she likes the little flash cards I make." Leo shrugged while Rosalie sat frozen then finally started to laugh.

"Wait, so you have sex flash cards?"

"Yeah, somewhere. It never hurt anyone to make flash cards"

"But on _sex_?" She questioned with a chuckle and her eyebrows raised.

"Yep. Sex, female anatomy, male anatomy, straight sex, gay sex, after care, I even did a little section on the most common kinks and roles played during sex, sub drop is really scary by the way. Anyway, they're pretty decent, better than school sex Ed and porn that's for sure."

"Ooo, maybe you could give Ry the cards on Gay sex and let me take photos of the others to explain to guys what I want" she joked but Leo thought about it for a moment then shrugged.

"Sure, you can keep them if you want, I have the sources I used saved in a file on my laptop somewhere in there I think. I'm pretty sure I know it all anyway but yeah, if you want them I'll find them."

"Ryan, I love your boyfriend."

***

A few hours later, Ryan's mom hurried through the door with so much grace you would hardly be able to tell she was in a rush we're it not for the fact that she hung up her bag and kicked off her work heels then speed walked towards the toilet calling out that she'd be out to see Ryan and his boyfriend soon.

"Gee don't I feel loved mom" Rosalie rolled her eyes and laughed as her mom's voice floated through the door, slightly muffled by the wood.

"Sorry petal, I'm just excited to see your brother with his boyfriend! Are they cute together?"

"Sickeningly. Haven't you seen Leo before? He's been here loads before now." Rosalie leaned against the wall beside the door, one foot propped up on the wall, something her mom would no doubt scold her for when she emerged from the toilet.

"Well I saw them when Ryan first brought him here, drenched from head to toe, but other than that they're always in his room and I never see them together apart from when they're saying goodbye to each other. Do you think Ryan is serious about him? He seems like such a lovely boy, I hope they stay together."

"Oh he's serious alright. Earlier we were talking and I feel like 98% of it was him quietly observing Leo, whispering to him, and kissing him. That meat-head has major feelings for him and Leo doesn't seem to mind how clingy Ry apparently is, I've never seen him so attached to someone before."

The toilet flushed and the taps went on and off, then the door finally opened again revealing Clara in all her natural elegance, it was hard to believe that Rosalie was her daughter looking at them side by side, their posture entirely different, features vaguely similar but they rested in different ways which made them almost unrecognizable as a mother and daughter.

"Ro, please don't put your feet on the walls, ooh that reminds me! I saw some boots you would love online yesterday, please tell me you're still the same shoe size as last time I ordered you something?"

Ro pushed off the wall and took off her combat boots knowing her mom would let her off if she did it again out of habit in socks rather than dirty boots. "Yeah, what do these boots look like?"

"They've got thick soles, the main body of them is black for the most part but there's some white detailing and there's a skeleton smoking sat at the heel so it looks like it's propped up against the back of the boot at the seam. I thought they'd go well with your red skater skirt, I'll show you a picture later, for right now though, where's your brother?" Rosalie pointed up the stairs and felt her mom kiss her head in thanks as she started making her way up the stairs. Despite being almost complete opposites Ro loved her mom and Clara loved her daughter dearly and only wanted the best for her.

When Clara reached Ryan's room she was pleasantly surprised to see the door wide open and Ryan smiling like a little kid on Christmas while he tickled Leo's sides who in turn was giggling and squirming.

"Ryan! Babe, stoooop! I can't breathe!" Leo managed to giggle out, losing his breath with each new attack from Ryan's hands on his waist.

Ryan finally stopped his attack and leaned down, hovering his lips over Leo's "say it and I'll stop"

"Fiiiine! I'm okay just the way I am"

"No, that's not what I said, say it" he wiggled his fingers and Leo squirmed at the ticklish feeling.

"I'm wonderful just the way I am..." he mumbled but it was good enough for Ryan who kissed him with a gentle smile.

"Yes you are, and I'm gonna tell you until you believe it" he hummed and kissed him again before rolling off him onto his side, that was when he noticed his mom at the door and turned bright red almost immediately.

"What's the matter? You're all blushy."

"My mom's at the door" Ryan whispered and received a small squeak in return which made him chuckle, his red cheeks calming a little. "Relax, you've met my mom before and she loves you okay?"

Leo nodded and started to sit up with Ryan not far behind, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him close hoping their proximity would calm him a little.

"Hi mom, how long you been home?"

"Oh not long, your father should be home in a bit, I just wanted to see you two before he gets home because you know how he is when he's just got home from work" Clara laughed and walked in to perch on Ryan's desk chair instead of just leaning on the door jamb.

"Dad likes to take mom into the back yard for like 20 minuets when he gets home just to talk and relax" Ryan explained to Leo who aw'ed at this new information and looked up at Ryan, thinking about his tendency to want to hug and talk after school was over and no one was around to see and how similar the habit was to his father's.

"Your father texted me at lunch today so it'll probably be more like half an hour but once we're done we'll order something for dinner because we're not gonna have time to cook anything that won't end up in a late dinner. Do you two and Rosalie want to decide on dinner while I talk to your father?"

"Sure. Is dad okay? What happened at lunch?" Ryan's interest had been raised and the worry in his voice was subtle but easily identifiable for both Leo and Clara.

"Oh he's fine honey, some kid broke their chair and he snagged his pants on it and now he has a rip in them. He was just annoyed and a little stressed because he knew he wouldn't be home by the time you were and you know he worries about you two alone"

Leo laughed and tilted his head back to look at Ryan who was blushing lightly "because we're just _so_ mischievous" Leo chuckled and reached back to hold Ryan's warmed cheek.

"Teenage boys are always mischievous, even if they're quiet" Clara gave Ryan a pointed look and received only an eye roll and a cheeky smile in response.

"You put bubble wrap in someone's slippers one time and suddenly you're 'mischievous'" he smiled at his mom who smiled back with an eye roll of her own this time.

"You've been a handful since before you were born Sweetie, I couldn't eat sea food or anything green when I was pregnant with him" she laughed and Leo smiled, leaning back into Ryan and getting comfortable finally.

"I can guarantee I was worse, well I suppose it depends how you look at it. I am officially my parents' 5th try and they had so much anxiety that I might end up like my cherub family that they couldn't relax for a second the whole 9 months. A blessing and a curse I guess, then when I was born I wasn't any less stressful from what my mamma tells me" he laughed and squeezed Ryan's hand, earning a squeeze in response and a kiss on the head. "I didn't really start saying anything until I was about 2 and a half and even then it was just a few words I'd managed to get down. I'm sure Ryan was a much more functional child than I was"

Both mother and son looked at Leo with care and and a determination to protect this boy. "I'm convinced no child is really functional, they're not developed enough to be fully functional at such a young age, we had a few strawberry plants in the yard and Rosalie would only eat the ones that had been part eaten by insects, I don't know why, she just did. Kids are weird, all of 'em. Anyway! I'm gonna go get changed out of my work things, talk to Ro about dinner, yeah?" Ryan nodded and his mom stood up to kiss his hair then did the same to Leo, surprising him so much he froze until she'd left, then turned to Ryan with a look of surprise and confusion plastered across his face.

Before Leo could utter a question Ryan stood up, picked Leo up like he was weightless and spun him around before flopping back onto his bed with minimal damage done even if the extra weight on top of him did hinder his breathing a little. "She's never done that before, she wouldn't go near my exes for weeks let alone be all motherly. She likes you! Babe she must really like you, like I knew she liked you but I didn't think she'd take to you so quick!" He was practically buzzing with excitement, his eyes shining with what Leo could only describe as pure glee, he was truly adorable in that moment and it was all Leo could do not to squeeze him too tight.

They laid there for a while, Ryan incapable of wiping the smile off his face as he talked about his mom and how she usually treated his previous partners, his theories on why Leo was different and then he simply ended up gushing over Leo and how amazing he thought the other boy was in every imaginable way.

Neither of them noticed the clock ticking on as they talked and listened and laughed, they were in their own little bubble for at least half an hour before Ro burst into Ryan's room with a stern, unforgiving look on her face. "You. I need to talk to you." She pointed at Leo then grabbed his hand and tugged him out the door leaving Ryan alone in his room, cold from the lack of Leo atop him.

He tried to follow them but Leo had assured him it was okay and that he wouldn't take long, but of course he had no idea what was going on either and only when he was in Rosalie's room with the door locked behind them was he told why she'd torn him away from her brother.

"Okay, here's the deal. I like you for my brother, I've never seen him this happy, but if you break his heart I'll break your face, not even your mom will recognize it by the time I'm done, got it?" Leo shook his head and leaned back, shocked by the threat. The last thing he'd expected when he was dragged down the hallway was a threat, he'd assumed she wanted to pull some kind of prank but this was a bit much to be a prank.

"That's not something I plan on ever letting happen Rosie, did you really have to randomly pull me away from him to say that though? Where'd this come from?"

"I just started getting cramps and I figured this talk would be a little more scary if I was hormonal and in pain." She shrugged as though it were nothing but Leo frowned remembering seeing his mom in pain on her period as a little kid and not knowing how to make her feel better.

"Awh, Rosie, get something warm, that always helped my mamma with her cramps, do you want me to get you something? I can make you hot chocolate or something?" She rolled her eyes and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Oh if only you were older and my type Lilo, you'd be the jackpot of boyfriends. I'm fine, they're at their worst in the middle of the day for some reason so I've had worse already today, they'll start to calm down soon so I'll be good. You can go back to Ry now, I've done my bit, didn't think I'd get a chance to intimidate a sibling's boyfriend, that's one thing off the bucket list" she chuckled and pulled away with a wink.

"We've got to pick dinner so you might as well come with me and we'll all choose. Come on, I swear you and Ryan are both such dorks behind all that broody 'mysterious' stuff." He mumbled the last half under his breath and it was Rosalie's turn to be dragged from one room to the next.

Ryan was laid on his bed, scrolling through Instagram to keep himself occupied when Leo wormed his way between Ryan and his phone replacing the view of Nate's new motorbike with his unimpressed expression. "You and you're sister are dorks."

Ryan simply laughed and tossed his phone aside to wrap his arms around Leo properly. "And you're just finding this out now babe?"

"No, I knew, I just didn't estimate this level of dorky-ness. She literally did the whole movie older sibling thing of 'break their heart and I'll break your face'" Ryan raised a brow then looked over Leo's shoulder to an unbothered Rosalie looking right back at him with a simple shrug.

"Huh, wasn't expecting that one. Ro's gone soft-"

"Have not! Shut up, d¡ckhead!"

"You're right, you're just buttering me up now so you can take the p¡ss at dinner" she grinned like only someone with a plan could, knowing and playful as she hopped up to sit on his clustered desk.

"Me? Now why would I want to do that, little bro?" She teased making Ryan roll his eyes and flash a smile to Leo, loving the familiarity of their sibling banter before the dive into the unknown with dinner later.

"Just get the menus from downstairs so we can order dinner already" he chuckled and shooed her off, rolling Leo over onto his back the second he heard her take a step down the stairs.

"Should I be more worried about dinner?" Leo's eyebrows drew together in concern but Ryan was quick to kiss the tension between his brows away.

"Nah, she'll take the p¡ss but if something starts getting awkward or whatever she'll make conversation or joke about something. She's annoying but she does actually care. Now can we kiss while she's not here because as much as I love my sister I don't want to waste time talking about her when I could be making out with my boyfriend"

"Who's your boyfriend? I don't remember being asked to be anyone's boyfriend, is there someone else in here you're not telling me about, Captain?" He teased and Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Fine, come back here and I'll ask." He laid down beside him and guided Leo to lie back down on his chest, it felt more right to do it this way instead of when Ryan was hovering over Leo like a predator over its prey.

"Galileo? Will you please be my boyfriend instead of just the guy who made me have a gay crisis and lets me kiss him sometimes?" He chuckled and Leo smiled trying to contain his giddiness and joy.

"How could I say no to that? I'd love to handsome." He pecked his lips and was quickly rolled over onto his back again and kissed enthusiastically. "You're actually my boyfriend...I actually have a boyfriend... and he's so freaking handsome and sweet and ahhhh I'm just so happy!" Leo gushed, taking a gentle hold of his face as they parted, happy tears threatening to spill. "Sorry, I just never thought I'd actually ever be able to be with a guy I liked and I'm a little overwhelmed and excitable" he huffed a laugh as he pulled a hand away from Ryan's face to wipe below his eyes and Ryan kissed his cheeks.

"S'okay babe, it's cute, I'm really happy you're my boyfriend now too. I'm not single for the first time in years and it actually feels so much better than being single this time, it's exciting." the reality of being off the market hit him and suddenly Ryan couldn't stop smiling, he was Leo's and Leo was his and it felt so good to be in a relationship that he wanted all of the fluffy stuff in for once. He had never felt affection like this before and having it officially recognized made his heart flutter in his chest.

He didn't realize it but he'd started to sink on his arms a little until he was no longer doing a press up above Leo but was rather laying on top of him, close enough that Leo could just say one word and their lips would brush.

"Ryan, babe, you okay?"

"Hold me?" Leo immediately rolled them onto their sides and weaved their legs together then reached his free arm over Ryan to pull him close and cradle his head against his shoulder.

"I'm guessing it just properly hit you?" Ryan nodded into Leo's shoulder and received a kiss to his temple in return, like a reward for any kind of response.

"Anxious about the label or just emotional?"

"I'm so happy, I didn't realize how much I wanted to make it official" he embraced the blush that crept up his neck, knowing Leo couldn't see it, and held him tighter.

"Awh" Ryan felt Leo pull back a little and start planting kisses over his temple then down the side of his face, his blush exposed but he couldn't find it in himself to care, the feeling that Leo's affection brought was more important than his embarrassment.

Rosalie wandered in with the dog eared menus and silently gagged at them both being so sickeningly cute. She gave them a solid 5 more seconds then jumped on the bed, jolting them both into pulling apart which was met with a vulnerable whine from her brother that she'd never expected to hear.

Moving his way back to Ryan, Leo explained why her little brother sounded so fragile and Ro immediately straightened, her eyes widening and brain scolding her for interrupting, she may not particularly care about being all lovey dovey herself but that didn't mean she wanted to spoil those sickeningly sweet relationship milestones for her baby brother.

As soon as Leo was back in his arms Ro could actually see her brother relax, his muscles releasing their previous tension to the point he almost appeared to melt into Leo. "You good, handsome?"

Ryan nodded and looked down at Leo who had tucked himself against his chest, waiting patiently for Ryan's emotions to mellow out. "Sorry, we can -um- order dinner now" he flushed after taking a minute or so to calm and wouldn't meet Rosalie's gaze, curling up just a little around Leo.

"Do you want to sit up? I'll sit in your lap if you still need to hold on" Leo offered in a voice so soft that Ryan barely heard it but he was glad Leo was being discreet around his sister, he loved her but she had a tendency to take the p¡ss out of his vulnerabilities because she simply didn't know how else to address them at times so she leaned on her sardonic sense of humor. She could deal with emotions but most of the time it was easier to make a joke out of what she didn't understand rather than trying to understand enough to help.

Ryan's eyes yelled yes but his body language was otherwise hesitant, muscles twitching back to rigidity which worried the younger boy. "S'okay if you want to stay like this, whatever you want Ryan, we'll do it as long as you're happy, yeah?" He kissed Ryan's chest and felt the limbs caging him close start to relax once more. His boyfriend was an emotional mess for the time being but that didn't matter, he didn't mind, all he wanted was for Ryan to feel secure and happy, what more could he ask for?

"You're the best, Galileo, I mean it." He hummed and kissed Leo's soft ginger curls in appreciation while Leo shrugged then looked up to him with an adoring smile.

"Eh, I'm alright. C'mon, the quicker we decide on the food the more time you have to teach me how to play that game you were on about before I was so rudely dragged away." This seemed to be motivation enough for Ryan to acknowledge Rosalie's presence again and actually start to sit up, pulling Leo with him.

After choosing what they wanted and what to get their parents, Rosalie left back to her own room to escape the suffocating sense of affection that filled the air of her brother's room. While Ro was suffocating from it, Leo was living on it, thriving on the silly smiles, the random kisses, the touches and hugs, he was loving it all, so much so that Ryan started to notice him getting more and more giggly as he played his video game.

"You're acting like you're drunk babe" Ryan laughed as Leo fell into his lap and looked up at him with a little giggle.

"I just feel really comfortable and happy, you keep making me feel all fuzzy and soft" he blushed a healthy pink and Ryan was almost certain he felt his heart leap in his chest.

"You're so fcking precious" Ryan mumbled and stroked a curly lock from Leo's forehead so he could focus entirely on his boyfriend's beautiful brown eyes that had such a homely feel to them with their rich reddish brown that made Ryan think of fire wood with embers still burning inside, warm and mesmerising.

"See this is what I mean by making me feel sappy and fuzzy" Leo smiled up at him, eyes soft and alluring, Ryan just wanted to be able to keep that image forever in his memory, a picture just wouldn't do the handsome boy laying in his lap justice. "What's going on up there?" Leo laughed as he reached up to gently tap Ryan's head.

"You're beautiful, you know that? You distract me so much, I was playing like 15 minutes ago and now my character is dead and I'm just looking at you and listening to you be all giggly and mushy, what have you done to me? You've made me into such a softie"

Ryan pouted as his boyfriend laughed and tapped his cheek "I didn't do anything to you, I didn't make you crush on me, that's on you bub"

"Did you have any idea I had a crush on you before I said anything?"

"Nope, if I did I'd probably have flirted a little, I didn't necessarily have a crush on you the first month or so but I'm not blind, you're hot"

The two flirted until Ryan's father, Jim, called up the stairs that dinner was on the table and they had to get their @sses down there before it got cold.

They'd decided on a Thai takeaway earlier and each of their dishes had been emptied onto a plate or into a bowl with a few sodas on the table and a bottle of cider for both Jim and Clara.

It was easy to tell who was sitting where, someone had decided that Leo and Ryan had to be separated by the table so they were placed opposite each other with Ro beside Leo and Ryan beside his mom as his dad sat at the head of the table.

Whoever had decided to split them hadn't factored in Ryan's long legs and so through interrogation and awkward conversations about sex and it's dangers their feet stayed entwined. The contact, combined with Ryan's smile, helped Leo make it through each awkward phase to get to the good stuff: stories about Ryan as a kid.

"It was so funny when mom tried to get him to eat fruit, he would eat cherries then come up to me and ask me why his mouth was bleeding" Rosalie laughed while his mom tried not to but ended up smiling over at him into her glass of water, which wasn't much better.

"Awh, that's cute" Leo grinned and tapped Ryan's ankle with his foot playfully. "Did trying to get him to eat fruit work? Do you like fruit now?" He asked both Clara and Ryan curiously, feeling Ryan's feet go under his own as if creating a little footrest for him.

"No, it didn't. He was stubborn as a mule that he didn't want fruit, he didn't really fight vegetables but he just was not having it with fruit."

"I'm more of a savoury guy" Ryan defended but Ro snorted and nudged Leo with a cheeky smile.

"Oh yeah, mr cookie dough ice cream over there is all about _savory_ stuff, not got a sweet tooth _at all_ " she rolled her eyes and stabbed a piece of chicken then shovelled it into her mouth earning a disapproving yet amused look from her mom.

"Hey! I only have sweet stuff when I'm stressed or upset, and you two-" he motioned between his mom and Ro with a pointed look "always steal my ice cream so if I have a bad day I have to go to the store before I come home because I know my comfort food will be gone" both women gave him guilty smiles knowing he was completely right while his dad snorted at his wife's lack of control when it came to sweet foods. 

Ryan smirked over at his dad knowing that his father was most likely the reason her sweet tooth was as severe as it is being as when they were dating he would buy candy for them to share but would end up giving her most of it, pretending that he was making a trade, candy for a kiss. It really wasn't a fair trade because he really wasn't giving up anything of much value to him and receiving something he treasured dearly.

Ryan had always found that story sickening when his father told it to him each time he got a girlfriend, his way of trying to tell Ryan how it felt to fall in love from his perspective. The feeling of being so gone for someone that you'd make any excuse to be closer to them, that you'd offer to trade whatever you had in the hope that they wanted to make that trade, do that back and forth with you, do that dance with you, fall in love with you back...

Ryan liked to think that falling in love felt more like stumbling through the world with your leg tied to someone else's, learning how to walk at a stride that suited you both, learning to coordinate with someone else who isn't a physical part of you, someone you could cut yourself free from at any time but you choose to try your best to make it work with them, even though it's like learning how to walk all over again.

It was similar to his father's idea of a trade, a sweet for a kiss versus a hindrance for the sake of learning how to walk by someone's side instead of on your own, similar in their give and take but clearly different. Ryan didn't feel the need to give everything he had for Leo in the hope that he'd return his affection, he'd respect his wishes if Leo had told him he didn't want to be with him, he wouldn't put so much weight on Leo's shoulders, but Ryan wasn't his father and Leo wasn't his mother, what worked for them then simply wasn't right for Ryan and Leo now and that was okay.

Of course Jim was less fond of recounting how Clara had initially broken up with him just a few months later, deciding he was nothing more than a good friend at the time but a couple of years later they saw each other again and his father's feelings had never faded but his mothers had grown, matured into a crush that she knew had sat festering since the day she'd read through her old diaries and found her entries about the nights they'd shared a chocolate bar or a packet of skittles and kissed so many times it was a wonder their lips weren't bruised, nights they'd shared secrets, hopes, and dreams each time they fed one another something sweet. Those memories brought back feelings she'd repressed even then, she called him a good friend when they broke up but it had broken her heart a little to do it, she couldn't stay with him while they were still in high school, she should never have led him on knowing that her father had strictly said no boys until she was 19 since her aunt had gotten pregnant at 16 and he was paranoid that the same fate may await his daughter, she was too young to be getting pregnant and he didn't want to risk it until she could support herself somewhat and she wouldn't still be growing up while bringing up a child.

Thinking back on the origins of his parents' relationship it was much more bearable when he understood the feelings first hand, which had never been the case before Leo, making the story more of an irritation than a helpful anecdote for his own endeavours previously.

"My papa-um dad is the one with a sweet tooth between my parents, me and my mamma, sorry, my mom, make him gelato every summer when I have the time off school and he loves it." Leo smiled, his chin raised a little, proud of his past achievements of making his papà happy.

"Kid, you don't have to censor what you call your mom and dad for us, we're not bilingual but I'm pretty sure we can figure it out" Jim chuckled while Leo blushed profusely.

"Sorry, it's not that I don't think you would understand what I'm saying it's just that a lot of people I meet get really irked by it if I use the Italian words. They basically say I should go back to Italy and that I have to speak English at all times if I want to live in America even though I was born here. Some people love the accent but more people hate that I don't speak English because I actually want to all the time, sometimes I just prefer the Italian." Leo explained, pushing his food around his plate before he realized what he was doing and took a bite, not looking up from his food to notice that each of the Wests were clearly upset and angered by this revelation.

Before he could look up to see the angry faces he heard chair legs groan, then, shortly after, arms draped over his shoulders, taking his hands as a kiss was placed atop his head. "Speak Italian all you want here, pumpkin, hell, teach me some so you're not constantly catering to my dumb @ss, okay?" Leo nodded as best he could with Ryan pressed so close behind his head, practically bent over him to whisper in his ear.

"Thanks Ryan, it's okay, really, I get to speak Italian at home, you really don't have to-"

"I want to, Leo, I want to learn so you can talk to me in whatever language you feel like instead of having to speak English all the time. I'm sh¡t at languages but I've got a lot more motivation now than I did when Mrs Brooks tried to teach me Spanish. You don't have to teach me but I'd like you to, just know that I'm willing to learn if you want to teach me."

"sei un angelo Ryan, un bellissimo angelo..." he kissed the back of Ryan's hand that was intertwined with his and leaned back into his embrace, awkward as it was with the chair partially between them. "I'll see, thank you- for making it an option I mean" he stumbled through his thanks a little but Ryan took all of it to heart despite its flaws and kissed his temple this time.

"I should've said earlier but it's always been an option, plus I'd get to hear you speak Italian more" he lowered his voice so that only Leo would hear him for his next words which sent tingles down his spine. "It's insane how fcking hot it is when you do that, Pumpkin." Leo giggled and pushed Ryan away a little to look him in the eye as he spoke in retaliation.

"Ti bacerò più tardi per questo" Ryan squeezed his hands with a confused but blushing face as though he had recognized the Italian for 'kiss' in there somewhere and Leo filed that idea away for another time and went back to trying to learn more about how his boyfriend was before he knew him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this chapter is kinda just slowly moving things along but oh well, hope you liked it anyway! 
> 
> I’ve got 3 days off work so I’m hoping to get some more chapters edited and uploaded, no promises but I will try my best because I know these chapters are kinda filler chapters so they’re cute but not all that interesting.
> 
> Hope your day has been/will be lovely <3 and thank you so much for reading! :))


	14. Flash to the Past

**June 16th** , Ryan's mom had come home from work crying and a little 4 year old Ryan had waddled up to her with an angry pout, he was very protective of his mommy. When the 4 year old saw his mom crying he hugged her legs and wouldn't let go until she picked him up and even then he was stubborn about staying with her even while she got changed out of her work clothes, he sat on his parents bed, playing with her bracelet that jingled when he shook it.

It took until he fell asleep for his father to get anywhere near Clara, it wasn't that Ryan thought his dad would ever hurt his mom, it was more that he thought that his mommy needed all the love and cuddles to feel better and his dad just wanted to talk, something Ryan was never fond of when he was sad so he just assumed his mom was the same and cuddled the life out of her.

"He loves you more than anyone else" his dad chuckled upon getting near enough to his wife to stroke the soft strands of dark mahogany hair from their son's face where his head laid on her lap.

"He doesn't, he loves you and Ro too, he thinks he's helping by being my little cuddly guard dog is all" his mom had sat playing with her baby boy's hair the whole time she told Jim what had happened at work to make her cry and even though she had begun to grow irritated by Ryan's protective, clingy behavior that night, she couldn't say that he didn't help her feel better the more she thought about it.

She had been too occupied by Ryan and his want to be close to her and make her feel better that she'd had to take her mind off what had happened to keep an eye on him and whatever he tried to do to entertain her. It was a childish method that wouldn't make a permanent fix, but Ryan was a child who didn't fully understand permanency yet so it was to be expected really, but she hadn't expected to feel so warm inside, even after being denied a position simply because she was good at her current job and they didn't want to have to replace the gap her skill and level of dedication would leave in the lower sector she was part of if they promoted her.

Somehow Ryan had wormed his way into her chest and with each silly face he pulled to make her smile, each hug that would seemingly never end and each sloppy kiss to the cheek, he dug out the lump of sadness and anger that had manifested itself and become glued to her ribs, weighing heavy and suffocating her from the inside out. She didn't know how he did it then and she doesn't know still but each time she told the story he blushed and made sure to throw her a smile through his bashfulness, dinner with his boyfriend was no exception to this exchange but Leo found it heartwarming to see.

***

**August 12th** , a 15 year old Ryan had gone to the new park with his friends in the morning to make use of the new soccer area on the field and came back home that afternoon to find Rosalie throwing up in the bathroom and the rancid smell of vomit elsewhere in the house. It was gross work but Ryan cleaned up the puke he found, disinfected the floor where they had been and the door knobs just to be safe. He then got a glass of water and put it on her nightstand along with some oat breakfast bars and painkillers just in case, then finally went to see how she was doing in the bathroom where he could hear her struggling to breathe without gagging.

The sight that awaited him was not pleasant, a disheveled Rosalie was sat with her back propped against the bath tub, her shirt covered in puke and some in her hair that was wet at the ends, he assumed from the toilet when she'd last thrown up in it.

The air was thick with the stench of sick and he quickly opened the window as wide as it would go to air out the smell that probably wasn't helping her feel less sick.

Rosalie remembered him asking her if she could stand up to take a shower but she just didn't want to leave the toilet bowl. "I'll run you a bath and get a bucket in case you need to throw up again, you can't just sit in vomit Ro, I'll get you some water okay? Do you want anything else?"

"To stop throwing up please" she whined and heaved over the toilet again.

"I'll do my best, pukie" he smiled both jokingly and sympathetically then started running the bath with bubble bath and rubbing her back as he did so.

"I'll be right back"

He left the water running to fill the bath and went to her room to retrieve the glass of water he'd left for her then went downstairs to get the bucket they kept in a cupboard for leaks and cleaning. When he came back Rosalie was crying, as she dry heaved, feeling sick but nothing else came up.

"Bath's almost full Ro, the bucket is right behind you okay? Just call me if you need me" he left her to get into the bath and messaged their parents to tell them what was going on then Jace to tell him he probably wouldn't be online to play anything with him and the guys, then, just as he'd got a response from his mom, Rosalie called for him.

He opened the door, a hand over his eyes not wanting to see his sister naked if he could help it. "Can you just stay with me? I came home early because I wasn't feeling great after lunch and then I ended up puking my way up here, you didn't step in it did you?" She winced but he couldn't see her behind his hand.

"Nah, I cleaned up so it's all good, you've just have to focus on getting better Ro."

"You can take your hand off your face Ry, I put a wash cloth over my chest before you came in and you put so much bubble bath in here" she laughed weakly, throat sore from the acidity. "And thanks Ry, sorry you had to do that" he shrugged and sat down with his back leaning against the bath tub to give her a little more privacy.

"S'okay, you can't exactly control it. Have you thrown up since I left you?" She shook her head then realized he wasn't facing her and told him she hadn't.

"I think I'm finally past that, I keep dry heaving though, word of advice little bro, never go to David's pizzeria, I was fine before I went there then I ate the pizza there and half an hour later I'm on my way home trying not to throw up in the car. I think the sauce or something was off, what a fcking day!" She groaned but reached out to poke Ryan's cheek with a bubbly finger. "Thanks for taking care of me Ryan, if you tell anyone I said this I'll deny it but you're the best" she smiled tiredly and he rolled his eyes turning to face her with a smile of his own.

It was one of Rosalie's core memories, always there whenever she felt sick, her baby bro was always there in the back of her mind, taking care of her. It was a memory she didn't often share with people but if it showed Leo even a fraction of how caring her brother really was then it was worth it.

***

**January 23rd** , Ryan was 5 when his dad started teaching him multiple sports that they could play together, that was his way of bonding and it worked, particularly when they were watching football, Ryan loved that it made so much sense the way his dad explained the rules and each play, he wanted to play as soon as he was big enough. The only way he could spend time with his dad was to play sports with him and so he got good at all of them but football remained his favorite, the strategy and the need to think on his feet while working as part of a team was what he loved so much, team sports were always the ones he liked best, sharing the passion and feeding off each other's enthusiasm, it was an amazing feeling.

Ryan did everything he could to be good enough for the school team and when he got a spot he worked even harder to keep it, putting his blood, sweat and tears into it. Everyone said he worked too hard, sometimes he felt like he didn't do enough, he was a workaholic for a job he didn't get paid for but it was bliss to be on that field.

***

The stories kept flowing after dinner when they moved to the living room, the family taking turns to tell stories that praised Ryan or embarrassed him. Leo had laughed, almost cried and looked at Ryan with stars in his eyes in a record amount of time meanwhile Ryan did his best impression of a bashful tomato. By the time Jim asked him more about himself it was hard to concentrate on talking about himself with Ryan's arm was around him, hand on his waist, the warm weight comforting but overwhelmingly distracting after so many cute stories about him.

"and my mamma said 'smettila di mangiare i miei cannoli, piccolo ladro' which means 'stop eating my cannoli, little thief'.' I couldn't help it, they're so good, my mamma is amazing at making desserts but other foods not so much. Anyway, so yea I find it really hard to keep weight on but my parents didn't want me to just eat junk food to put on weight so my Papà makes pasta a lot and my mamma always has a dessert ready and sometimes slips her own stuff into dinner because some stuff is is wayyyy better than Papà at because my Nonna on her side passed down a few recipes. I am so bad at cooking it's not even funny, my parents won't let me near their pots and pans anymore, they tried to teach me but I almost spilled boiling water all over myself and that was the end of that" he laughed and twiddled his fingers feeling Ryan squeeze his waist.

"You're lucky Ryan's pretty proficient in the kitchen, even though he doesn't like to admit it. He's a momma's boy aren't ya Ry?" Rosalie teased earning a push across the couch which just made her chuckle knowing she'd gotten on his nerves.

"I'm alright, Grams showed me a few things when she used to babysit us, you were just too busy fawning over the Jonas brothers whenever Grams called us to try and teach us something." Leo giggled and kissed Ryan's cheek.

"As if you never had a secret crush on someone in a band" he whispered and felt Ryan's hand squeeze his waist again as if trying to tell him something in Morse code.

"I was a pre-pubescent girl being told I'd grow up to be a housewife at school, it was my act of defiance!" She defended, only half joking. She wanted to learn from her Grams but she didn't want to just fall into a mould she'd never get back out of. "Plus, why should I learn to cook when I can just get it you to do it?" She smirked trying to lighten the mood again, Ryan appreciated the change in mood but he hoped he hadn't upset her.

"I knew there was a reason you decided to move colleges closer to home" he squinted at her jokingly and got punched in the shoulder but the hit at least showed him she wasn't upset and it was all just banter.

The night dwindled faster than either boy had expected and neither wanted to part but Leo's parents were waiting up for him and he couldn't keep them up all night.

"Thanks for having me but I've got to go home before my mamma gets worried" they all nodded and said their good byes, Clara even got up from her place tucked close to Jim to give him a hug then let Ryan walk him out so they could say their goodnights to each other.

It was as though the moment they were alone they couldn't contain themselves any longer and let loose all the worried tension from earlier in the day which came out as laughter as they practically fell into one another.

"You did it babe, not so scary?" Leo nodded into his boyfriend's chest, squeezing him close. "You did so well Pumpkin, I know you were stressed about tonight but I don't think any of them could fault you if they tried...except maybe your cooking" he chuckled as Leo thumped his fist weakly against Ryan's chest in response.

"Good thing I never plan to cook for any of you then, unless you want charred food?"

"I'm good thanks, I'll do the cooking, you can give me motivation" he kissed Leo's head and felt him kiss his chest through his shirt but they both wanted something more responsive and Leo found his head being tilted back so he straightened up to his normal height so that Ryan wouldn't have to bend too far to kiss him.

"Aww, You want a goodbye kiss Pumpkin?" Leo had noticed this about Ryan, even after he'd told him he'd make it clear if he didn't want to be kissed he still asked whenever he remembered to, albeit in a more teasing manner that was more alluring than his previous way of asking. It was sweet that he was so determined to ask permission as much as he could and the more he thought about it Leo couldn't find a reason why he shouldn't ask for consent, even if it was just a kiss and he would always accept, maybe there'd be a day when he didn't want to, who knew?

He nodded in response, any words that were on the tip of his tongue were embarrassingly needy and, as much as he knew Ryan wouldn't judge him, he didn't want to sound like he was begging for it.

"You're so cute" was the last thing he heard before Ryan's lips descended on his own and took his focus entirely, well almost entirely, the hands on his waist were more of a distraction than Ryan would ever know, how embarrassing would it be to tell your boyfriend that your brain short circuits every time his warm hands were securely rested on your waist? He wasn't going to chance embarrassing himself by telling him any time soon what the innocent touch did to him.

Meanwhile, Ryan was just as much of a mess, he wanted to lift Leo up and kiss him against the door, not because it was the cliché thing to do but because he wanted Leo's hands to run through his hair the way they did when he kissed him in his lap. He wanted to lift him up to close the gap that he couldn't when they were standing, not without it feeling awkward and stiff instead of having their body's move closer in sync, slotting together like they did when Leo's legs were wrapped around his midsection.

He wanted to be as close as possible but he'd wait until the time was right, even if that meant waiting a few days until they were alone and hadn't just had dinner with his whole family.

Leo was the first to pull away, not that he wanted to but he had to, if he stayed in that blissful moment with Ryan any longer he wouldn't want to go home even more, even so he couldn't help kissing his lips once more, drawing a little involuntary whine form his boyfriend, who blushed upon realizing what he had done.

"See you Monday at school?"

"Of course, don't forget your water bottle for practice again please, you almost passed out yesterday and it scared me" Ryan frowned, almost pouting but he'd deny it to his death bed that he would ever pout.

"Okay, I'll put it by my bag tonight so I remember to fill it and pack it. Ugh I don't want to leave! Stop being so sweet so I can leave" he joked and Ryan whispered lowly beside his ear.

"I'll see you Monday, handsome" with a teasing kiss just below his ear right where his jaw hinged.

"You're a danger to my health, Captain. I'll text you when I get home" and with that he finally found the strength to open the door behind him and make his way home, leaving Ryan to sigh and smile like the love sick puppy he was.

"You couldn't have been a little more subtle about the fact you want to eat each other's faces?" Ro smirked, looking at her brother's reddened lips and crinkled shirt from where Leo's hands had been griping to keep him close.

"We don't want to eat each other's faces, we're not that bad, you've done unspeakably worse on that couch and I never brought it up" he defended, watching the little shred of embarrassment his sister still had it in her to have make an appearance on her cheeks.

"Okay fair... Is he a good kisser?" She just had to pry and Ryan had to respond otherwise the teasing would only get worse with his resistance, even just his quick 'yeah' was better than telling her to fck off.

"Oo, is he dominant? Because I know what he said about topping but I'm 95% sure it was a joke"

"It was just a kiss Ro, how are you supposed to kiss dominantly? It's a give and take." He watched her eyes roll as if he should know better but he didn't, how could he when Leo was the first person he'd actually really kissed back? Would he even notice if he was being dominant? He had no clue.

"Did he stick his tongue down your throat? Did you follow his lead? Was his body language big while you were kissing? Come on little bro, I need the details, I'm bored!"

"No, kinda I guess, and no again."

"Ooo so you stuck _your_ tongue down _his_ throat, interesting."

"No! There was no tongues down throats, okay? It was just an innocent, prolonged goodbye kiss, that's it." She confused him to no end, all of this was new to him, it was like trying to learn how to walk again but she didn't seem to understand that. Most people's first kisses happen when they're pretty young, by 13 all of his friends had had their first kiss, him included, but they all seemed to enjoy kissing their girlfriends when they got into relationships, he didn't really understand it. Leo wasn't his first kiss by far, since he first got on the team he'd had multiple girls kiss him after a good game, all kisses he'd never wanted but had received nonetheless, and while he wasn't his first kiss he was the first to feel right.

Rosalie had first kissed someone at the tender age of 4 hoping to find her prince, granted a Prince wasn't what she was looking for as she got older but the kissing people who didn't mean much to her hadn't ceased, she enjoyed it and Ryan never understood why. She didn't understand him in return either, it was almost like she didn't try to understand, she just skipped over what she didn't get in the hope that if she understood just enough that the rest wouldn't really matter but this was one subject a little too large to sweep under the rug.

It was exceedingly clear that Rosalie had assumed that, despite her brother's sexuality, he'd had enough years of kissing girls to pick up on the changes in body language during a kiss and had experimented a little with ways of kissing someone or had at least enjoyed it to some extent, an assumption that was completely and utterly wrong.

Ryan sighed and sank into the couch, already deflated from this conversation but he had to explain to her or how would she ever know?

"Look Ro, I'm not as experienced as you are with all this, you have to understand that until I started dating Leo I'd never gotten very far with a kiss, it didn't feel good to me, it felt like something I had to do because they wanted to. I never initiated a kiss, I never used tongue unless she did first, I just followed along and did what they expected of me. Every time I kissed them it was nothing to note so I took basically nothing from it, every time I kiss Leo I'm learning what I should've taken in then, we don't do anything particularly crazy, I still only use tongue if he does but I'm learning and you asking about it is like asking a kid who's just learnt to walk what it's like to run." She looked at him with brows furrowed and leaned forward with her forearms resting on her spread knees.

"Ry what is the difference? Like genuinely what the fck is the difference between guys' lips and girls'?! It makes no sense! Like I get you're gay and you're attracted to guys but if you close your eyes and you don't know what sex a person is then what the fck is the difference?" Ryan remembered asking himself the same thing and he'd brought it up to Leo not long ago to see what he thought about it but they had no definitive answer because Ryan had never been in a situation where he didn't know who he was kissing so how could they tell?

"I-I don't know, okay? I don't know... it's all so fcking confusing and I don't know why it has to be so confusing but it does. Leo thinks that because I've never actually been in that situation that we'll probably never actually know, all I know is that when I know I'm kissing Leo it makes me feel different than knowing I'm kissing a girl, it's really weird but it's what I've got to work with. Leo also thinks I might be ace or demisexual, which basically means I either am not sexually attracted to people or I only have a sexual attraction to partners I have a strong bond with, because I don't feel like I particularly want anything really sexual yet but I have felt more open to it since we started getting to know each other instead of me just shutting him out. Clearly I'm a little complicated but you've got to understand that I don't experience relationships the way you do so could you please let me come to you about stuff instead of trying to squeeze it out of me?" She groaned but agreed, what was the point in her little brother having a relationship if she couldn't ask about it?!

"Fiiine, but you'd better actually tell me stuff because my guys are getting clingy so I can't do anything with them until they stop it, you're my only source of entertainment Ry, I'm counting on you." She warned leaning back in her chair again to get more comfortable.

"I'll tell you two things right now, he kisses like he knows exactly what I'm going to do before I do and if we do have sex I might be the top but he's always going to be in control." Without giving her time to say anything and seeing the distaste on her face he got up with a triumphant yet small smile and jogged up the stairs to his room while she grumbled about how strangely poetic her brother had become about such risqué matters and how soft he was for Leo.

***

Monday morning saw them walk into school with smiles on their faces and no possible way to disguise their happiness. Both boys had texted throughout Sunday and were still riding the high of being an official couple even if they weren't out to everyone yet. It was hard to hide something that made them so happy, Leo wanted to be able to kiss his boyfriend whenever, hold him when he got stressed or upset or just because he was so freakin huggable, he wanted to have a normal relationship with him and their secrecy about it made his happiness dull just a little when he thought about it.

"You're smiling again West, what are you up to?" Jessie squinted and waved his sandwich about as he spoke as if either action would help him figure his friend out.

"I'm not allowed to smile?" He chuckled before taking a bite of his pasta so he wouldn't have to answer the response Jessie gave immediately.

"Not at nothing, it's freaking me out"

"My being happy freaks you out?" He grumbled through his food with his brows pushing down in the familiar annoyance that Jessie and his teammates were used to.

"See!? That's more like it, that's the face I'm used to. Happy Ryan is suspicious" Ryan scoffed and told him to fck off then rolled his eyes, he really wasn't allowed to just be happy.

"I will take happy Ryan over angry Ryan any day, what's so bad about him smiling, did I miss something?" Leo asked confused by why they made such a big deal out of it every time Ryan showed up to school in a good mood.

"Have you not noticed in the months you've been here how moody and broody he is? I'm like 99% sure he came out of his mom looking annoyed as hell like he was irritated by his own birth. It's unnatural for him to be happy without reason, winning a game: happy, hearing a good song: happy, having banter: happy. All that makes sense, but when he's just sat here smiling while he eats his pasta it makes no sense unless that's some really good pasta and I know for a fact it's not _that_ good."

Leo nodded along, understanding that seeing someone whose resting face wasn't exactly welcoming to say the least, with a smile on their face could be a little odd. He hadn't realized how straight faced his boyfriend was before they got together, he had tried to keep his head down because he'd get glared at but Ryan had seemed perfectly happy around their teammates when he watched them all make jokes and talk about whatever random crap came to mind. Honestly he'd seen him smiling more than he had frowning by now and the more his friends made their case that he was a sourpuss the more lucky he felt to have seen so much of the brighter side of Ryan.

"Well maybe he's just having a good day? Having a good day Captain?" Leo asked leaning over the table a little to further direct his question and Ryan smirked.

"Had a good night" he shrugged and took a sip of his water, it was difficult with his smile threatening to make him unable to drink but he managed it.

"Woah, wait! Were you with someone last night? Bro who? Is it that girl you hooked up with in your car?" Jessie asked immediately, ever the gossip of the group.

"Maybe, maybe not" Ryan smirked, he didn't want to hide his happiness anymore and this was the easiest way to let it out without actually having to come out yet.

"Okay so that's a yes, see?! We told you getting laid would lighten you the fck up" the boys talked over each other to him in agreement and in turn Ryan rolled his eyes at them all.

"That's great and all guys but your theory is wrong because I did not in fact get laid last night and I'm still perfectly happy"

"Dude if you didn't get laid what the fck do you have to be happy about?" Theo scrunched up his nose and his eyebrows drew downward in confusion with a hint of distaste at the words on his tongue.

"I told you, I had a good night, can't I be happy about it?"

"Okay but why was it good? You must be so gone for that girl if you're whipped enough to not do anything with her and still be like this" Dustin motioned to Ryan's face and promptly got his finger bent back, warning him to get it out of Ryan's space ASAP. "Oww! You're definitely whipped, you're worse than Jace and him and Aimee have been together for like 3 years!" That got him a swat up the side of the head from Jace as he sat down with Aimee and his food.

"We've been together a year and 10 months and I am not whipped. If I were whipped she'd completely dominate everything I do and I'd be sat at her table every day ditching you guys. I love and respect my girl but we have boundaries and make compromises, there's a difference between being whipped and actually loving your girlfriend, @sshole." Jace pulled his girlfriend close protectively and Dustin held up his hands in surrender.

"Sh¡t, didn't know it was abuse Dustin day, sorry, anyone else want to injure me for no reason?" He whined rubbing the back of his head despite the hit being more of a firm tap than anything else.

"Oh shut up, we still don't know if Ryan actually had a girl over last night, twice in one month, he might actually not be a little whiney emo all the time now" Jessie was far too invested in the matter and it amused Leo who had been trying so hard to keep a straight face the whole time.

"I had someone over last night, happy? Why can't I eat my pasta and be happy in peace?" Ryan grumbled then felt Leo's foot cautiously rub against his ankle, unsure if he'd touched the right person's foot but one look from Ryan confirmed he had as did the foot tapping at the side of his own.

"Ry, Bro, you need to realize that this is the first step towards you acting less like a grouch and we're honestly all ready for your emo phase to be over already. It's been 4 years, suck it up buttercup and start going out with people again so we can take a break from broody McBroodyson would ya?"

Ryan laughed, he was not that bad, surely, no one would stick around if he was that annoying so he knew the guys were just happy for him in their own weird way.

"Yeah, whatever, I'll try not to blow this for you guys' sake then" he joked and rolled his eyes but the guys still cheered apart from Jessie who fist pumped the air cheering 'I knew it!'

"I knew you and that girl in your car must be serious, you wouldn't just keep making out with one of your exes while you were with them if someone interrupted. You didn't even hesitate to just flip me off the other day, I vote secret girlfriend, anyone else?" He raised his hand only for Nate to lower it as other people started to look over at them more than usual.

"I don't see what else it could be, you can say 'friend' as much as you like but friends don't eat each other's faces. She must go to this school though otherwise you'd have gone to her school and had your little make out session there, what girl have you made swear to secrecy?"

Ryan, Leo, Aimee and Jace all looked at each other discreetly but Jessie spotted the exchange and pointed accusingly at them all. "Conspirators! You three know who she is, don't you!? Not fair, I've known you way longer than Leo, why does he get to know?!" Jessie whined, by this point the rest of the guys had started talking amongst themselves, bored of Ryan's private life and Jessie's theories.

"Without Leo I wouldn't be with anyone that's why"

"Wait, Leo set you up? Do you just set your old friends up with your new ones? Didn't you set up Beck up with Amanda?" Jessie looked pointedly at Leo, so much so Leo felt like he was being laser burned by it.

"No, Amanda and Beck already liked each other, all _I_ did was push a little. I really didn't do much for Ryan either, I just helped him see a couple new things he hadn't noticed before, then it was all him."

"Not _all_ me, you did more than you take credit for" Jace hid his face in Aimee's hair as he tried not to laugh while Aimee just smiled, she had a lot of experience keeping a straight face while friends were talking and covering up secrets amongst her friend group when they were too serious for just friends but close friends could know so it was easier for her to just play along.

"Well I think it's great that you're with somebody now, Ryan, no matter how it happened. When was the last time you actually went out on a date anyway? I don't remember you ever having a date while me and Jace have been together, do you babe?" Jace shook his head and kissed her cheek before he lifted her a little so she'd get the idea that he wanted to hold her.

Aimee got up and sat back down on Jace's lap like it wasn't an interruption to their conversation at all and patiently waited for Ryan's reply.

"Before I started going out with you know who? 4 years ago give or take a couple months, that is if you don't count taking Megan out to her school dance because you two were on holiday with your family" Ryan laughed, technically he had been her 'date' but all he really did was take her to her school and dance with her a couple of times when she wanted to. Then after her mess of an attempt at asking her crush to dance (which made her cry) he carried her out to his car and took her to get some ice cream and people watch for a while until she felt better.

In all honesty he'd had a good time playing replacement big brother for her while Jace couldn't be there, in a way he was sort of like a second big brother to her anyway but it felt good to be able to be there for her like he wished he could do more often for his own sister. It was a little awkward when Jace told him that Megan had had a crush on him at the time but it'd been a year since then so she'd probably grown out of it by now he thought.

"If you mean with you know who then I guess the last time was last night? I don't really know if staying at mine for dinner is actually a date"

"She met your parents? Bro you must actually be serious about this girl if you've kept her a secret for long enough that she's already having dinner with your parents" Harvey stated and gulped his energy drink, his eyes widening a little as he drank the almost fluorescent liquid.

"Yeah..." Ryan sighed almost dreamily and smiled down at his lap, unaware of his teammates looking at one another in shock and confusion about the way he was acting. Jessie even mouthed over to Jace and Leo asking them what 'her' name was but they ignored him.

"Okay, yeah, this is weird." Logan mumbled followed by Chris who asked if they'd stepped into a parallel universe.

"It can't be that weird for you guys, seriously. I've been here for like 4 months or so now and I've seen him more happy than I have moody or whatever, Ryan is fully capable of a full range of emotions so can we stop making a big deal about someone being happy?" Leo looked pointedly at each of them until they grumbled or nodded in submission. "Thank you!"

A few hours later in the locker room Leo was the first one there as usual and soon enough Ryan peaked round the door to see if anyone was in there and upon seeing only Leo he smiled and slung his bag down on his usual bench as he made his way towards his boyfriend.

"How's my boyfriend doing today?" He hummed as he slid his arms around the other boy from behind and felt Leo lean into his chest then tilt his head back to look at him.

"Alright, I'm a little tired and a cuddle sounds really good right now but I'll just fall asleep" he went to pull away, already feeling a little limp with exhaustion but Ryan pulled him back in and kissed his head.

"Are you busy after school? We can cuddle and if you fall asleep I'll just read through the extra notes Mrs Martin sent me today." Leo shook his head, pouting even though he knew Ryan couldn't see it.

"My mamma was invited to her boss' house for dinner so I either have to go with her and my papà or stay home and do all my homework before I can even think about inviting anyone over, even Amanda. I don't know why my parents are being so firm recently, my grades have gone up!"

"Maybe they're just worried that having a boyfriend is going to distract you, they don't know your grades have gone up so they're probably just looking out for you."

"I know...doesn't make it any less annoying though. I had to do all my homework before I could go to yours yesterday y'know? I had to do it a day in advance and I was up so late last night for homework I have to hand in tomorrow and tonight I'll probably fall asleep at my desk and get a stiff neck" he whined, all he wanted was to sleep again, not even the clear sky forecast for that night made him want to stay up.

Ryan was just about to reply when the door creaked a little and he pulled away with a firm but somewhat worried 'this isn't over, talk to you after practice'.

The whole of practice Ryan kept glancing over at Leo, he was worried that Leo had been more tired in the past week than he'd been letting on and Ryan, in his own worries and excitement, had completely overlooked it.

On their way home in Ryan's car Leo rubbed his eyes then stretched, trying to keep himself from burning out, it was always around 5th period that he really started to feel the late nights coming back to bite him but he couldn't exactly take a nap right then and there.

"Babe, you need to get some sleep, take a nap or don't go to bed so late, yeah? If the homework isn't for tomorrow then maybe leave it so you can get some rest and tomorrow we'll go to the library at lunch and do the rest. If we do it at school then you'll have the night free to actually sleep" he was trying his best to think of ways to make the work load easier on Leo, it really wasn't that much more work than he'd had when he started at their school but his parents were just pushing harder and he was starting to really feel the pressure.

"We?"

"I'm not gonna make you do homework alone, there's no point in losing time with you at school to get time after school when I could just be with you in and out of school even if you'll be doing work."

"You know, you make it really hard not to be one of those people who just cannot stop hugging and kissing their partner. I don't want to be that annoying person but you're forcing my hand here, Captain!" Ryan chuckled and stopped the car in a small rest stop, a smile on his face that he couldn't, nor did he want to, stop as he looked over at Leo fondly.

"You only have to do homework once you're home and like hell am I passing up a chance to kiss you" he leaned over the center console to kiss Leo's cheek and let him take it further if he wanted to.

"Back seat?" His voice was a little high and shy but Ryan acted as though he didn't notice to save him the embarrassment and nodded. He helped the younger boy climb into the back seat without kicking anything then climbed back himself with less grace than he'd care to admit.

"Should we put something over the window in case someone sees?" Leo was clearly somewhat worried after the last time they'd had a close call and Ryan would be lying if he said he wasn't feeling more cautious too.

"I don't know what we'd cover it with, Pumpkin, I don't really have any anything in my car to cover them. We could do what we did last time, it's a bit much but no one would see us if they were just driving past and if they wanted to creep on us they'd just see my back" this whole not being out thing was really starting to get on Ryan's nerves. "Or we could just say fck it an if someone sees us at least I don't have to come out, someone can just out me" he half joked but it only worried Leo more that he was getting frustrated.

"Hey, don't say that babe, you deserve to choose when you come out and how you do it. It's really getting to you isn't it?" He frowned and climbed into Ryan's lap, ignoring everything that urged him to sit beside him so no one would see. "You come out when you're ready and not a second before, okay? It's annoying, I know, but if you come out before you're ready you're gonna get stressed and more anxious and I don't want you to feel that way unnecessarily, I want my boyfriend to be happy and excited for people to know, not stressed out of his mind"

Ryan's hands had settled themselves on Leo's hips so he pulled him closer to his chest and kissed him softly, almost hesitant being as he hadn't asked but Leo soon made it clear he was more than okay with the nonverbal response and cupped Ryan's cheeks.

"I'm going to be honest, Jace and my family were the people I was most worried about telling, now that they know I kinda just want to rip the bandaid off and get it over with. I know for sure that Theo is going to be a d¡ck about it and Dustin probably will too being as they're close like me and Jace are, but I don't think the others will make that big of a deal about it." Ryan whispered as they pulled away just enough so he could talk.

"Well if you want to come out I'll be right beside you, if anyone's a d¡ck about it we can just annoy them by being gross and mushy" he laughed and pecked Ryan's lips, they were just so close and tempting.

"Do you think we could just walk into school one day together and just pretend no one can see us? Y'know, act the way we want to around each other and let everyone else assume what they want about it? I just don't really want to have to explain to everyone and they'll see it plain as day that I'm not straight, even if they think I'm bi, I don't care, they can think what they want as long as I don't have to hide you anymore. I just really want to go on dates with you, kiss you without worrying if someone sees us, walk you to your front door after you've been at mine and kiss you good night, I want all of that. It's not fair that I feel this way about you and I'm not allowed to show it, it's not fair that I'm bad at being as discreet as you too so I feel like I'm neglecting you at school." Leo had no idea his boyfriend felt that way and was quick to shut down that idea.

"You don't neglect me at school, Ryan, you're always smiling and giving me looks, it might not seem like a lot but just from the way the guys react to you being happy tells me you really care about me and like me as much as I like you. It makes me feel so good, so happy, when you smile my way or feel the urge to drag me off under the stairs or into one of the cubicles for a kiss. You don't neglect me babe, you make me so happy I could cry, and I have before, just because you make me feel that loved."

Before he could process Ryan moving, Leo felt soft lips against his neck and the hands on his hips moved to wrap around him in a loving hug that brought him even closer to his boyfriend's warm chest.

"You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Pumpkin"

"Very bold statement there babe, better than getting on the team? I don't think so" he laughed but felt Ryan squeeze him tighter then kiss his neck again.

"You are the _best_ thing to ever happen to me, even getting on the team, I won't be on the team after school ends, I might not be scouted and I might not get on a college football team but I hope that you'll still be with me, I know that my chances of doing football for a living are slim and there's not a lot I can do about that but I can work to make us work, I can be happy with you and I can do a lot to make you happy and hopefully keep you by my side. You're more permanent than football will ever be, I'll get older and football will get tiring but I don't see you ever being tiring or getting tired of you." Leo drew Ryan's head away from his neck to look him in the eye with a beaming smile.

"I wish you could come over, I just want to cuddle you, you're so sweet" Ryan hummed happily and pecked his lips.

"Maybe we can convince your parents to let me stay while they're out. I've got some stuff to read through and an essay to do so we could have a study date?"

"I don't know if they're going to let us but we can try, I guess"

They climbed back into the front and quickly made it the rest of the way home and Leo called his mom as they drove.

"Mamma? Can Ryan please come over? We'll both be doing homework, I promise I'll get all my work done, pleeeease?...but mamma- yes I know I've got to stay focused but mom-... ugh! Mom. i miei voti sono migliorati quando ho iniziato a uscire con Ryan, mi stai uccidendo qui! Non posso continuare così mamma..." (translation: my grades got better when I started dating Ryan, you're killing me here! I can't go on like this mom)

The line went quiet then shuffling could be heard before Isabella replied.

"Leo, so che ti piace questo ragazzo ma questo non significa che puoi parlarmi in quel modo, sono tua madre e dico che devi prima fare i compiti." (Translation: Leo, I know you like this guy but that doesn't mean you can talk to me that way, I'm your mom and I say you have to do your homework first)

Leo didn't even respond and, in his frustration, hung up before she could say any more. "Ugh! It's a hard no from my mom. This is just ridiculous! I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm hungry because I hardly ate at lunch because the pizza I had was like play doh covered in glue and a disgrace to Italian food, I just want to feel calm and relax a little but apparently that's not allowed!" He sighed and ran a freckled hand through his hair, his fingers getting somewhat tangled in the coppery curls just as the car came to a halt outside his house.

"It's okay handsome, we'll figure something out, get some food when you go inside and text me when you're settled with all your homework and we'll FaceTime or I'll call you and we can talk while you work. I might not be allowed inside with you but they never said I can't FaceTime you. And when you're done you can come over to mine or I'll come back here and cuddle you until you fall asleep because you need the rest."

"Okay, yeah, you're right. Sorry I got angry there, they've just never done this before and it's really not helping like at all, my quality of work is getting worse" he sighed, body slumping in his seat as he felt his brain protest against all the work it had been doing with few breaks to actually wind down and just shut off for a moment.

"S'okay, Leo , I get it. You're probably gonna get yelled at later for yelling at your mom though so you might want to call her back before you call me yeah?" He sighed again but nodded and pecked Ryan's lips before saying his goodbyes.

Ryan watched Leo walk up the path and into his house before he drove home and went up to his room to set out his homework on his desk and of course Ro was home to distract him.

"Sup little bro?" She asked as she jumped on his once neatly made bed. "Don't tell me you're doing homework alone again, did you and Leo fall out after yesterday or something?"

"No, his parents just won't let me go over until he's done all of his homework so we're gonna FaceTime and do it together so maybe it'll go faster and I can go round his."

"Awh, not bringing him here?" She pouted and he spun in his chair to look at her in amusement knowing she was just bored without her fck buddies.

"Nope, he's home alone all night once his parents go out for dinner so if we can get this homework done we'll have the house to ourselves instead of having you interrupt us"

"Like you do anything to interrupt in the first place" she scoffed and threw his pillow at him with a smirk on her face as if she were proud of herself for it.

"Oh so next time he's here you won't mind if I just keep making out with him when you come in here to talk to us then" he smirked right back and her lips fell into a frown as she squinted at him.

"You evil little boy" she grumbled "nobody wants to watch you eat your boyfriend's face, you're both gross."

"Shut up, just because you can't go hook up with one of your fck buddies" he rolled his eyes and spun back round to his desk only to be spun back round.

"Yes, because they're all getting possessive and clingy! Why do you boys do that!?" She complained and flopped back onto his bed dramatically.

"Ro I am literally the worst person to ask about that because I'm a touch starved, formally repressed gay, my reasons are gonna be different to theirs. I'm clingy because I'm starved of romantic affection, I like to think I'm not possessive but honestly Leo is my boyfriend now so he's officially my person until he says otherwise." He shrugged and grabbed his phone to see if Leo had texted him yet. He hadn't so he was likely on the phone to his mom trying to apologize or explain why he got mad so Ryan relaxed into conversation a little, knowing he probably had some time to kill.

"You get plenty of romantic contact from your little fangirls at school, you're just a clingy dweeb" she argued while tossing the magic 8 ball Ryan had on his nightstand into the air only to catch it inches away from her face.

"That's annoying, unsolicited contact that makes me uncomfortable, it's not romantic, and maybe I am a clingy dweeb but I'm a self conscious clingy dweeb who needs affection from his boyfriend." It was his turn to pout petulantly and he suddenly really wanted Leo to hold his hand and do that thing he did where he traced a finger around his palm, tickling him lightly, his finger tips tracing over the pattern of his fingerprints.

"Oh just sneak round to his when his parents leave and do your lovey sh¡t"

"I don't want them to come home and find me there, I'd actually like my boyfriend's parents to like and trust me, kinda important to me."

"Why've you got to be so moral Ry? It's really a buzz kill"

"Not for Leo, he likes my morals, well he gets a little huffy when I ask if I can kiss him instead of just doing it but he always ends up smiling so it's okay"

"You, little brother, are sickeningly sweet to that boy, I always knew you were all squishy on the inside but I didn't know you were complete goop"

***

When Leo finally texted Ryan and they FaceTimed his cheeks were streaked with tears and his nose and eyes were red and stuffy.

"Oh, Pumpkin, I'm guessing the talk with your mom didn't go too well?"

The other boy shook his head and hiccuped a little then wiped his nose feeling gross and upset. "No, she-she grounded me for a-a week. I'm not allowed to get a ride home with you this week, I-I have to go on the bus and do my homework as soon as I get home then write notes in Italian so she knows I'm not slacking on that" he sniffled and rubbed his red eyes.

"Did you tell her that it's stressing you out and you're not getting enough sleep?" He nodded and took a sip of the glass of water he had off screen to calm himself down a little.

"She said that if I stopped procrastinating and actually did my homework then I'd get to sleep on-on time, she was saying all this stuff like I should be working hard and I-I shouldn't be going with you all the time and you're a distraction and- and if I'm not careful she'll have to 'make us take a break'. She was just being so harsh, she's never been like this before." Ryan's blood was officially starting to boil in his veins, no one, not even Leo's parents, were going to take Leo away from him if Leo didn't want to leave him.

"When do your parents get home?"

"A few hours at least, my mom's boss is a really chatty guy, why?"

"Because I'm seriously considering sneaking into your house and cuddling you till you fall asleep. I just lost a lot of respect for your mom, no offense, Pumpkin" Leo physically relaxed and an almost dreamy smile settled on his lips.

"I'd love to but they'll know if I don't do what they've asked and I'd rather not get grounded for another week"

"Okay, okay, I'll control myself and stay here, what homework are you starting on?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so kinda more filler but also getting to some ✨drama✨ 
> 
> Drama continues next chapter and gets a little heavy, you have been warned! 
> 
> As always, hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for reading! :) 
> 
> Have a wonderful day, stay hydrated and keep on keeping on <3


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